


The Late Spring

by dreamerxatxheart



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alpha Victor Nikiforov, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Historical, Class Differences, Heian Period, Historical Inaccuracy, M/M, Multi, Omega Katsuki Yuuri, Omega Verse, Omega Yuri Plisetsky, Polyamory, Strangers to Lovers, Threesome - M/M/M, spoilers in the tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-08-20 14:14:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 58,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8252093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamerxatxheart/pseuds/dreamerxatxheart
Summary: Katsuki Yuuri has always been sickly, so when the chance arises to become a personal attendant to a young lord, he accepts thinking that he has finally figured out a way to ease the financial burden he poses to his parents. What seems too good to be true probably is, and in Yuuri's case, he discovers something that might just ruin everything.





	1. Chapter 1

Yuuri Katsuki had been hand selected to serve his new lord, not that he had any experience necessary to be an attendant. The decision had been agreed to by his parents with tears in their eyes as they tried to accept the fact that his new position would be much better for him. He had been sickly since birth, and his medicine was an expensive necessity. Even though they weren’t poor and made money from their somewhat lucrative inn, they didn’t seem to have enough to cover his needs which frequently left them distraught. Yuuri felt guilty knowing that his parents’ financial difficulties arose from his health issues and did the best that he could to be helpful around the inn when he was feeling well. 

About two months prior, a nobleman had seen Yuuri out and about in their small village while he was running errands and stopped by the Katsuki residence to inquire about him. At twenty-three, Yuuri was an oddity for being an unmarried beta, although for those that knew his circumstances, it wasn’t odd at all. Most had either mated shortly after they presented or were married off in the village according to their financial situations or to improve their family’s status. Yuuri’s health prevented him from attracting potential suitors, although he didn’t really mind. He hadn’t ever really been attracted to anyone except for a small crush as a child on one of his friends, Yuuko, who had been with her mate for eight years or so now. He mostly was concerned nowadays because he constantly felt like a burden to his parents when he should have been the one to take over the inn after them. Instead, that position was forced upon his older sister. She confessed that she didn’t mind so long as he was happy and healthy. It was easy enough to say, but he knew that she had really wanted to get out of their small town and explore the world. It was even more frustrating because Yuuri genuinely enjoyed the inn and would have loved to take care of it into the next generation. 

The gentleman had offered to take Yuuri off of their hands to serve a young omegan lord who was soon to be mated. His parents had refused at first, citing their concerns regarding his health, but the man wasn’t swayed. He returned three more times, each time offering more money and guarantees for his health and wellbeing. They finally agreed that they would talk it over with Yuuri but would ultimately let him decide. Yuuri immediately told his parents that they needed to accept. It would be best for all of them, even if he knew that he would miss them dearly. It would relieve the enormous burden that both he and his parents felt in regards to his health and the family finances. The next time the gentleman visited, his parents accepted the generous offer. They planned out the details regarding his transportation to the estate.

After two weeks, the day had finally arrived for Yuuri to leave, and he was nervous. The impact of his decision was finally starting to dawn on him, but he knew that he was going to have to follow through with it no matter what.

“Yuuri, he’s here.” Mari peaked her head into his room as Yuuri looked around to make certain nothing had been left behind.

“Can you help me carry it out?” Mari lifted the other end of his trunk outside where the cart sat in front of the house. Two men took it and held it between them. Yuuri was slightly overwhelmed by the number of people his lord had employed in order to bring him to his estate. There were the two guys holding his luggage, as well as the driver for the cart, and another four men with more trunks behind them. The cart itself was much smaller than the ones he was used to seeing, but it was also covered. He turned back to his parents.

“I’ll write when I get there.” His mother held out her hand, and he gently squeezed it. He couldn’t think of anything else to say. The older gentleman who had facilitated everything held open the curtain for Yuuri and assisted him into the cart. Yuuri took one last look at the only place he had known as home before the curtain fell.

The gentleman entered after him and signaled for the driver to depart. The cart moved with a lurch which sent Yuuri sliding across the seat. The man held an arm out to keep him from falling over.

“Thank you.” Yuuri’s voice sounded weak in the small space. He gave a loud grunt as a response. They were in the heart of the village now. Yuuri could see the buildings and trees through the screen. He wondered how long it would take to get wherever they were going. The man coughed to get his attention.

“It’s Yuuri, isn’t it?”

“Yes, sir.” The man hummed in response but didn’t say anything else. Yuuri was content to watch the scenery pass outside as they left the village and made their way north. The grass in the flat fields they passed moved like the waves that were still faintly audible. The tang of the salty sea air was dissipating the farther north they went. The air lost its humidity and began to feel slightly cooler, although that might also have been because they seemed to be travelling up towards the mountains. Sometime in the early afternoon, they stopped at a small shop along the dirt road that offered grilled fish from the nearby streams, rice, vegetables, and tea. The gentleman paid for Yuuri’s food, and he gladly ate the free meal. He already missed his mother’s cooking. She would have added extra portions on the side for him of his favorite foods, just to make sure that he ate. Often when he was sick, he had little to no appetite. It was all they could do to get him to eat the things that he did enjoy eating. Maybe because it was due to a sense of obligation to the man since he had purchased the food for him, but Yuuri, despite not feeling his best, was able to eat all of it. 

After their lunch, they got back on the road and continued their trek north. Close to sundown, they stopped again by another roadside inn. The couple running the inn welcomed them, offering them one of the best rooms before getting a bath set up and a meal. Yuuri stood awkwardly by the wall as he watched the man get settled. He looked up at Yuuri.

“You can bathe first, if you’d like.” 

“Oh no, please go first. It only just occurred to me that I don’t know your name.” The man paused.

“You’ve ridden an entire day with a man whose name you don’t know? You don’t know anything about me?”

“Well, other than the fact that you’re a beta, no, not really.” The man shook his head and collapsed on the floor to sit. 

“I am Yakov Feltsman. I am employed by Plisetsky family, and generally, my work involves making sure that things run smoothly at the estate, but I have been also tasked with finding an attendant for the young lord, Yuri, before he departs to his intended’s estate. You are that attendant.” 

“About that…what does an attendant do, exactly?” Yakov patted the floor.

“Sit down, my boy. Apparently, I have much to explain to you.” Yuuri tried to retain every single detail that Yakov gave in regards to his new role. It seemed fairly easy, a bit tedious, but mostly it just sounded like he was responsible for keeping the young lord company throughout the day. The couple returned to inform them that the bath water was heated, and the food was ready. At his suggestion, Yuuri decided to bathe first before enjoying the meal and going to bed, slowly warming to the idea of what his new life was going to be like shortly.

In all, it took them three days to get there. Yuuri hadn’t realized that he was so far away, which begged the question why on earth was Yakov visiting his small village. Nevertheless, he was extremely thankful when they arrived. Much to his surprise, Yuuri was immediately carted off to a warm bath upon his arrival. It was even more surprising that he was attended to during his bath with someone gently scrubbing his back and another massaging his scalp. While the experience itself was pleasant enough, he couldn’t help the nerves that were slowly overwhelming him. It seemed odd to him that as he was technically a servant himself that he would be served, but he didn’t say anything. After his bath, he was dressed in several layers of a soft colorful cloth that accented his pale skin. It was only after he had been bathed and dressed that Yakov finally took him to meet his lord. Yuuri sat behind the screen as Yakov went in first.

“Young lord, I have found the perfect attendant for you.” Yuuri sat as still as possible to hear the man’s voice.

“Old man, how many times have I told you that I don’t need an attendant?” He sounded young. Yuuri wondered how old he was. He had heard that some omegas presented as young as thirteen. The thought of being thirteen with a much older alpha was nauseating to him, but he was basing that off his experiences as a beta. Maybe having a heat that early encouraged maturity. He shook his head. Yuuri certainly didn’t know.

“Yes my lord, but your grandmother – ” He could hear him sigh heavily, effectively cutting off Yakov.

“Very well, send him in.” Yuuri didn’t look up from the moment he entered the room. At least not until a bright, sweet scent had him looking up to meet the green eyes of his lord.

“Hmm,” he hummed. “What’s your name?” He sounded bored.

“Yuuri Katsuki, my lord.”

“Yuuri?” He looked up again. His green eyes flashed dangerously, and Yuuri lowered his gaze. There was something in the omega that made Yuuri feel the need to submit which was odd, but Yuuri hadn’t exactly been exposed to that many omegas, so he wasn’t certain about his understanding of them. It might have just been his rank that made Yuuri feel so humbled by his presence.

“Yes, my lord.”

“Hmm,” he hummed again. “I suppose you’ll do. You’re a beta, right? I can’t smell you.”

“Yes, my lord.”

“You don’t need to respond to every little thing.” Yuuri went to nod that he understood but stopped as he wondered whether or not his lord would consider that a response. His lord heaved another sigh.

“I am Yuri Plisetsky, although I sure you’ve been told. You will refer to me as “my lord” and are now my personal attendant, attending to my needs whatever they might be when they arise. When I am mated, you will continue to serve me unless my alpha decides you are no longer needed.” He stood up looking down at Yuuri.

“For now, I am going to retire. Show him the grounds, Yakov, and bring him to my room when you’re finished.”

Yuuri desperately tried to pay attention as everything was pointed out to him, but when he arrived back at his lord’s room, he was dazed by all the knowledge Yakov had thrown at him. He tapped lightly on the door.

“My lord?”

“Come in.” Yuuri was underwhelmed by how sparsely decorated the room was in comparison to the rest of the mansion. Yuuri found the omega sprawled out across a pallet on the floor, an unfurled scroll close enough to be read, with his blond hair surrounding his head like a halo.

“Your things are in your room which is right next door.” He pointed to the sliding door on his right.

“I won’t need you for a couple of hours, so rest up or whatever, but don’t wander off too far. I don’t want to have to look for you.” Yuuri nodded and entered his room. It was significantly smaller but still well furnished. He curled up on his own pallet and decided that a small nap might not be all that bad of an idea.

The sliding door slammed open, and Yuuri jumped up ready to run off when he remembered where he was. His master stood in the doorway with a deep frown on his face, and Yuuri sat back on his knees before dropping his head.

“I’ve called you at least ten times. Don’t make me wake you again.” Yuuri nodded once.

“Come, I need help preparing for dinner.” Yuuri followed him into his room and stood behind the younger man as he situated himself in front of his vanity. He was trying to remember everything that he had been told he needed to do. Yakov had spent the three days they were travelling together detailing what his new duties would be: dressing him, fixing his hair, bringing in his morning meal, and accompanying him throughout his daily activities. Yuuri realized as he stared down at the blond head in front of him, he had no clue what exactly his lord would want him to do specifically. He figured that combing out the tangles would be a good way to start and then maybe pulling it back and off of his face. Yuuri reached for the comb and started from the bottoms of the strands of his hair.

“It’s so soft,” he whispered to himself. He heard his lord chuckle and was quiet until he worked out all the tangles. Yuuri ran the comb through his hair once more and over his fingers when he felt his master shove his head into Yuuri’s hand. He paused. At one point, he was pretty sure someone had told him that omegas liked to be touched. Yuuri cautiously began rubbing his scalp and smiled to himself as his lord melted beneath his fingers. The reaction was adorable coming from him. He felt a hand wrap around one of his wrists and looked back down. His lord dropped his wrist immediately and shot up.

“We need to get to dinner.” Yuuri followed him through the maze of corridors before they arrived in the large space where everyone gathered to eat. He was surprised to see an old woman at the head table where the head alpha usually sat, but as they drew closer, he realized she was the alpha. It was the first time he had ever seen a female alpha, and she was no less imposing than all the male alphas Yuuri had come across.

“Yuri, you’re late.” She didn’t look up to greet him. He sat silently just below her, and Yuuri took the seat next to him.

“I see you finally got an attendant.” Yuuri didn’t look up. It felt like he was intruding on a private conversation, but she was speaking loud enough that anyone several tables over could hear her.

“Just as you wished,” he replied. The food was delicious, and Yuuri worked more food into his mouth just when the alpha turned her attention to him.

“How old are you, boy?” He swallowed painfully, saddened he hadn’t been able to fully enjoy the mouthful.

“Twenty-three.” Yuuri made sure to keep his eyes lowered to the floor, head down. She got up and walked around to him, wrenching his head up by his chin. His palms quaked on the tops of his thighs, and he refused to look up in an attempt to save him from the wrath of an alpha.

“Look at me.” His brown eyes lifted up momentarily, caught in her gold gaze, and then she finally released his head and returned to her seat.

“Why didn’t you select one of the ones I sent you? He’s just some country boy.” Yuuri blushed and quietly resumed his meal.

“Exactly. I won’t have to worry about Victor taking another omega if my attendant is a beta.” Yuuri’s insides felt like ice. His words were so casually mean; it was frankly more painful than someone being outright spiteful.

“Hmph. You’ll be lucky if he takes another. I don’t know what romantic ideas have filled your head, but if you think for a moment that he won’t have a room full of omegas six months after you’ve mated, then you aren’t ready for what’s coming. Speaking of which, your escort should be back by the end of the week. You’ll need to be ready to leave by then.” For the rest of the meal, neither one of them spoke, which Yuuri was thankful for. He shoveled the food into his mouth just in case someone tried to speak to him again, but apart from the two of them, no one else seemed to notice that he was there. When his lord finished, he followed him out of the hall when his master whipped his head around to look at Yuuri. 

“You’re dismissed.” He stood there and watched the smaller man storm off down the hall as he wondered what he should do next. It was probably best to wait in his room for when the young lord returned, as he would be responsible for helping him get ready for bed. Yuuri relaxed as he entered the small space. It was really nice having a place that was entirely for his own use, and he felt certain that others wouldn’t ever intrude it. He opened his trunk and pulled out one of his favorite robes to sleep in. Granted the material wasn’t nearly as nice as what he was wearing now, but it smelled like home. He heard a noise next door and opened it to find the omega sitting in front of his vanity. Without a word, Yuuri helped remove his jewelry, not that he wore much to begin with, combing out his hair once more. 

“I’ll change myself.” Yuuri heard the dismissal and gave a bow but stopped just before he left. 

“If I needed to send a letter, to whom would I need to speak?” The young omega didn’t speak, just studied him as he stood there before finally replying.

“Yakov. I’d hurry if I were you. We don’t send out posts that often, and I think he’s sending out some tomorrow.” Yuuri bowed again and briskly made his way through the hall to where Yakov’s quarters were. The man welcomed him, giving him paper and ink to pen his letter. Yuuri kept it brief, as he knew it was late and that Yakov was likely more exhausted than he was. It was sufficient enough anyways that his parents knew he had arrived safely and was doing well thus far. Yuuri thanked him again and slowly made his way back to his room as many of the other people had gone to bed, and he didn’t want to wake them. He was surprised when he returned to his room to find that his pallet was gone. 

Carefully, Yuuri opened the connecting door to his lord’s room and found that their pallets had been laid out together. The omega was already curled up in his blankets, and Yuuri could barely make out the small comment the young lord muttered.

“You’ll sleep here.” Yuuri nodded and shut the door behind him and slid into the bed. His lord rolled over and wedged himself against Yuuri’s side. It seemed strange until he remembered that omegas preferred to sleep with others and that even though the lord seemed to be misanthropic, he was still an omega. Yuuri didn’t comment on the behavior, but wrapped an arm around the smaller man as they both fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

It took Yuuri a few days to better understand some of the quirks of his young lord, mostly that he had a very contrary nature and that oftentimes he said the exact opposite of how he felt. It was also in those few days that the nature between his lord and his alpha grandmother began to reveal itself. Apparently, there was quite a bit of unspoken animosity between the two, but Yuuri hadn’t been able to discern the cause unless it was that the young lord had been born an omega instead of an alpha but that was hardly his fault. Still, Yuuri hadn’t anticipated that a dynamic would play such a large role given that his lord was still the only heir. He quietly assumed that there was more at play than what he knew and figured that it was probably better that he didn’t know. 

The other servants didn’t speak to Yuuri, something that he had mistaken as just his being new to the house, but realized it had to do with his association with the young lord. The only other person who spoke with him was Yakov on the rare opportunities that he had a free moment. The omega didn’t comment on the treatment towards him, acting the way he always did, treating everyone with indifference at best and outright hostility at worst. He didn’t really pay much attention to Yuuri except for when he grumbled out requests to do his hair, get dressed, or sleep next to him at night. Yuuri picked up on the fact that his lord seemed to not get any physical affection at all, a rare thing for an omega. He had heard tell of omega lords and ladies who had whole groups of omegas at their beck and call, pampering them with attentive touches, feeding them, and even assisting their base needs if asked for and trusted enough, but he wondered if maybe those were just rumors spread by the house servants to make his master appear less than other omegas for not following these extravagant examples. 

When the end of the week arrived, Yuuri found out what the head alpha meant by escort. A train of warriors, attendants, and messengers had arrived, and at the head of the group was a dark haired man who everyone appeared to know. 

“Georgi! How are you and your mate?”

“It’s so wonderful to see you again!” The man addressed everyone’s questions before locking eyes with Yuuri’s lord. Yuuri watched as his lord twitched under the attention, turning on his heel and leaving the man without a greeting. Yuuri was unsure of whether he should follow in his master’s example or not, so he gave a short bob of his head and ran after him. 

“He’s late,” his master lamented into his futon, muffling his voice. Yuuri slid the door shut behind him. When his lord flipped over, his face was flushed, and it looked as if he was sweating.

“Are you ill?” Yuuri reached his hand out to feel the temperature of his forehead, but the young lord smacked his hand away.

“Don’t touch me.” It was easily the rudest thing that he had done to Yuuri in the time that he had been there, and a soft look replaced his hardened expression. He didn’t say anything as he cautiously reached for the hand that he had smacked away. There was a tapping at the door. It slid open to the same dark haired man.

“Yuri, why the cold greeting?” He slid into the room, his eyes sliding over Yuuri before returning to the blond omega.

“You’re late! Do you understand what I’m going to have to do now?” Yuuri looked over at his master. His voice sounded almost distraught, and Yuuri knelt down and scooted to sit close to him. The man sniffed, and an apologetic look crossed his face.

“I’m sorry, Yuri. One of the carts broke an axle.” 

“Your excuses mean nothing! I’m going to have to be locked in that god-forsaken shed again for another week before I’m able to go anywhere. We had this timed perfectly so that I would arrive just as it began, but you’ve ruined it.” Tears spilled out and down his cheeks as the man stood in the doorway watching him cry. Yuuri slipped an arm around his small frame pulling the young man into his chest. The omega didn’t hesitate to accept the comfort and wrapped his arms around Yuuri’s waist, leaving his forehead on Yuuri’s chest.

“Well, why not have your omega take care of you? It isn’t like Victor would be opposed…”

“He’s a beta, how can you not tell?” His master grumbled from Yuuri’s chest. The man looked up at Yuuri.

“You’re a beta?” He seemed shocked by the news. 

“Yes?” 

“Sorry, you seemed like an omega to me. My sense of smell is off, so I have a hard time trying to discern other’s dynamics. My apologies if I have offended you, but you really seem to be an omega.” 

“It’s nothing, my lord.” 

“In any case, Yuri, we’ll need to let your grandmother know.” Yuri started to cry in earnest at his statement but otherwise made no acknowledgement that he had heard him. The man dismissed himself from the room, and Yuuri petted his hair in an attempt to comfort him. It took Yuuri about twenty minutes before he was finally able to calm him down, and he was shocked when the door was slammed open by his lord's grandmother.

“Again? You couldn’t have waited until you left so that Victor could deal with your obnoxious whining? The least you could have done is picked one of the omegas I offered you to deal with this burden.” His lord tightened his grip on Yuuri as she approached.

“Young man, I will only tell you this once,” the alpha addressed Yuuri, drawing her full power up to allow him to feel her command. “Let him go.” Yuuri hesitated for just a second but that was all it took for her to swing her hand back across his face. He cried out in pain at the blow, and his master was pulled from his grasp and dragged out the door. Yuuri watched in horror, not failing to notice that Yuri had gone completely limp, lacking any sort of resistance as he was dragged bodily out of the room and down the hall.

He hadn’t understood what happened after Lord Yuri and his grandmother left. Yuuri sat in the room waiting for his lord to return, and at sundown, after everyone had gathered for dinner, and his master hadn’t returned, a sinking feeling fell upon him. Shortly after the moon rose was when Yuuri heard it. Agonizing howls of pain. The sound cut him to the core, and he knew instantly exactly who they were coming from, but why? Why was his lord shrieking in pain?

Yuuri didn’t leave his lord’s room that night and sat awake by his bedside until dawn, just in the hopes that he might return. It was then that he understood he wouldn’t be back, but for how long? Yuuri was uncertain. He retreated to his room to sleep. It was an unsuccessful effort as the sun shone through the paper in the doors, allowing the natural light in. Around lunchtime, Yuuri finally decided to join the rest of the household for a meal. 

“Yes, the young lord went into another heat.”

“I heard. His crying kept me up all night. I don’t understand why they didn’t just ship him off already. He’s Lord Victor’s problem now.”

The whispers illuminated what was occurring to his lord, and he shoveled food into his mouth as quickly as possible. The whispers weren’t only directed towards his lord but himself as well.

“He’s got an attendant now. I don’t understand why we have to endure this.”

“The young lord desires to be pure for his mate. He doesn’t want to be spoiled by a beta.”

“What is the point in having an attendant then?”

“Who knows? Why did he wait three years after his first heat? Why did he subject us to this six times a year? I’ll be glad when he’s gone.” 

Yuuri felt like he was going to lose his lunch and ran off with his dishes. He didn’t leave the comfort of his room for the remainder of the week while his lord was locked up. This was the cruelest thing that he had ever encountered in his life, and everyone’s reactions were disgusting. Who would lock an omega up while they were in heat to endure it alone? The thought angered Yuuri. Not only did it sound excruciatingly painful, it seemed heartbreakingly lonely that not a single soul offered him any comfort. It wasn’t as if there weren’t omega servants in the palace, there were plenty, and had anyone endeavored to befriend his lord, they would have understood that he needed the attention and affection just like any other omega. He wondered who it was that had ordered this? Yuuri felt certain that it had to be his lord's grandmother. 

The week seemed to drag on. Early one morning, Yuri had been carried back to his room by two servants and dumped unceremoniously onto the futon. Yuuri didn’t hesitate to drag his out from his room to place it next to his lord’s and lay down next to him. He seemed to be semi-conscious, and Yuuri tried to give him some water, but the liquid slid out from the corner of his mouth. Yuuri laid him down gently and curled up next to him, waiting for the little lord to turn over and curl into his warmth, but he didn’t move at all which worried Yuuri. He turned his head to face his, leaning down and pressing their foreheads together to see if he was still feverish from his heat. Finally at this touch, Yuri seemed to be slightly more lucid as his green eyes blinked open and tried to focus on Yuuri’s face. 

“No,” his lord said weakly, turning his face away and trying to roll away from Yuuri. The action stung, but Yuuri didn’t remark on his lord’s behavior. He slightly separated their futons and sat on his own.

“M’lord, do you want food or water?”

“Go. Just go.” His lord sounded exhausted, and Yuuri carefully carried his futon back to his room before exiting for a walk to the garden. 

It was autumn, which meant that all the trees’ leaves turned bright scarlet, burnt orange, or golden yellow before they fell. The leaves were swept up frequently to preserve the pristine arrangement of the garden, but the vivid colors were pleasant to look at next to the green bamboo stalks. The whisper of the leaves and rustling bamboo were soothing and distracting. He came to a small pond towards the back of the garden and stood by its edge, looking at himself in the water.

He thought about how quickly he had become attached to his lord, and the cold behavior he had been treated with upon his return from his makeshift prison. Yuuri found himself thinking of his parents and sister who had sacrificed everything for him and felt licks of anger spread through him. How could someone profess to care for Yuri if they were willing to treat him this way? Why hadn’t his intended done anything to protect him from this? He deserved much better. 

Thoughts of his parents and their small onsen drifted through his mind as he knelt down by the water. He missed the salty breeze that would ruffle his hair as he sank into the warm waters and the delicious food his mother would prepare for him. Yuuri’s family would never have done such a thing to him if something similar had happened. Although, what would they have done if he had been an omega? He knew that the first heat was never as bad as the ones that came later; it would only be a tease of the symptoms, pains, and aches to come. It served as a warning to find a mate, and quickly. He supposed that his parents would have done everything in their power to find him a mate. Mate. By now his family knew that he wouldn’t ever take one, and it was just as well given his current position. A mated beta would have even less reason to take care of the omega lord. He would have been expected to provide or be provided for and attend to the house duties. 

“How is he?”

The voice pulled him out of his thoughts, and he looked up at the dark haired man who had entered the estate a week ago. Yuuri knew the man now as Lord Georgi Popovich, a family friend and ally to the Plisetsky’s and Nikiforov’s. He had offered to be his lord’s escort as he was a mated alpha who had no intentions or desires for another omega. 

“He will be better after some sleep and food.” Lord Georgi nodded. 

“He has gotten much better at handling them over the years.” Yuuri dropped his gaze. He knew that his cheeks had flushed with his anger, but he couldn’t talk back to the lord. 

“If you’ll excuse me, I should go check on him.” There was something about being alone with him that made him nervous.

“Yes, that might be a good idea.” Yuuri didn’t wait after the dismissal, giving the lord a bow and running off back towards the room. Even if his master didn’t want him by his side, Yuuri could remain in his room until he was needed. It wouldn’t hurt to make sure everything was packed away in his trunk. Now that his master’s heat had passed, they would be off within the next day or so. He ought to send out another letter to his parents to let them know he would be traveling again soon. He heard heavy footsteps in the hallway that seemed to stop outside the door. It was probably not a good thing, but he peaked his head out anyway. There were two sentries posted in front of their doors and as soon as Yuuri opened his, they both twisted their heads in his direction.

“What do you need, beta?” 

“I was just going to go to Yakov and draft a letter – ”

“You are to remain in your room with the young lord until you leave.”

“But – ”

“You will remain.” The alpha sentry’s order had him shutting the door without a second thought. What was this? Yuuri hadn’t minded the idea of being confined to his room when the idea had been self-imposed, but this was intolerable. What was their purpose? He knew he couldn’t enter his master’s room yet. Yuuri didn’t want to face him again right now. Maybe it would have been better if he hadn’t agreed to come here. Granted, he would have been sick all the time, something that he hadn’t experienced once since coming to the estate, but maybe it was his lot in life. He was a weak beta and would live a short life and would pass, leaving his sister to care for his aging parents and the onsen. 

“I should never have come here.” Tears filled his eyes and spilled over onto his cheeks. The connecting door between his room and his lord’s slid open, and bright green eyes looked down at the beta who had curled up in a tight ball on his futon.

“If those are your true feelings, it’s too late, beta. Come, we need to finish putting away my things. We’ll depart shortly.” His lord opened Yuuri’s door to the hallway.

“Tell them I am ready,” he announced to the sentries. One of them strolled away while the other stood fixed in place. Yuuri assisted his lord, gathering the rest of his things and stowing them away. Lord Georgi entered the almost empty rooms shortly after the sentry had left.

“Are you certain you want to leave now? We can wait until tomorrow morning after you’ve rested more.” Lord Georgi looked over at Yuuri who stood behind his lord, staring down at the floor.

“We will leave now. My grandmother has made it apparent that my presence is no longer desired, and I am more than ready to be rid of this place.” Lord Georgi bowed and exited. 

“Come, beta.” Yuuri tried not to think about how he had been reduced to his dynamic once more, following his lord through the labyrinthine corridors until they were in the front of the estate. There were dozens of people scrambling to get Lord Georgi’s retinue ready to depart. Yuuri followed as his lord wound his way through the horses and carts until they found the one that was for his master. Yuuri held the screen back to allow him to enter first before following him inside the cart. His lord sat on the only seat, his eyes glancing from Yuuri to the floor of the cart.

“You will sit on the floor, beta. You will not make a sound for the duration of the time it will take us to travel. In addition, you will make sure my room is ready when we get to the inn and will sleep at my feet. When we arrive, you will not speak unless I command you to speak, and under no circumstances will you send your glances to anyone other than myself. You are my servant, and mine alone. You will not do as any other bids, but follow my command alone.” His master’s icy tone was the coldest he had ever made it sound. Yuuri had foolishly believed that some small part of the young omega had cared for him, but it was apparent how false that was now. 

“And under no circumstances will you interact with my intended. Do I make myself clear?” Yuuri gave a sharp nod, not looking up at the omega. Neither one said another word while they waited to depart. Yuuri hadn’t looked up from the moment he entered the cart, but he couldn’t miss the muffled exhale once the cart finally started moving. His lord heaved a small sigh once they were officially out of the estate. 

Yuuri worked to stay secure in the spot he was sitting in, but with every rock and bump in the road, he was jostled or lost his balance. He heard his lord click his tongue every time he moved so Yuuri worked harder to keep still. By the time they rolled up to an inn to stop for the evening, he was exhausted with the effort of trying to maintain his position. Nevertheless, he hurried to make sure that the room at the inn was prepared for his lord in a way that would be to his liking and that the bath was ready for him. Once his lord had bathed, eaten, and prepared for bed, Yuuri slipped off to the bath. The water was tepid and gave him chills, but he soaked in it anyways. He dried off carefully to make sure he didn’t get sick and curled up at his lord’s feet dreaming of the sea.

They reached the estate the next day which was well because Yuuri could feel himself beginning to fall ill. There was a flurry of activity and fanfare at his lord’s arrival, but they weren’t greeted by his lord’s intended. Instead, they were taken to his lord’s new chambers to unpack and relax. Yuuri worked to help his lord, but by the time they had arranged his lord’s things, and Yuuri's sole trunk had been delivered, Yuuri could barely stand. He dragged the trunk into the connecting room and couldn’t catch his breath. Yuuri struggled to pull air into his chest before collapsing on the ground next to his trunk with a quiet thud.


	3. Chapter 3

“Victor, you’re too close.” 

“I think he’s finally coming around. Why didn’t you make certain your servant was well enough to travel? What have you been doing to him, Yuri?”

“Nothing! He was completely fine…until he fell over.”

“There’s no way you didn’t notice this. Is the physician coming or not?” 

“Honestly, there’s no need to be that concerned - ”

“His lips are blue, Yuri. Stop pouting for one minute, and acknowledge the gravity of the situation, please.” 

“Blue?” There was fragility to Yuri’s tone that seemed to seep through Yuuri’s consciousness. Everything sounded like it was underwater. He could sense that Yuri was in the room with him by sound and smell, but there was another who was touching him. The man’s touch felt like ice on his skin.

“They weren’t blue just a minute ago.” Yuuri didn’t want to burden his lord with his health problems, but it seemed it had happened regardless. It was partially Yuuri’s fault, as he had gotten lazy with taking his medicine properly and had taken a cool bath the day before. 

“He’s so pale…” There was gentle hand moving the hair off of Yuuri’s forehead. Yuuri wanted to open his eyes and thank the man, but his eyelids felt extraordinarily heavy. It got more difficult to breath, and Yuuri wheezed as he tried to cough and pull more air into his lungs.

“Let’s sit him up. I don’t think he can breath well.” Strong arms wrapped around him and situated him in a seated position against something hard and warm. Whatever it was smelled incredible. It was the best thing he had ever smelled in his life, and it seemed to be easing the tightness in his chest as well. 

“See? His lips don’t look blue any longer.” Yuuri felt another hand on his head; this one he knew was his lord’s. It wasn’t as cold as the other man, but it felt slightly clammy. 

“Is he gonna be okay?” 

“Oh? You worried about him, Yuri? I didn’t realize you were so attached.” The man sounded amused, and whatever Yuuri was leaning against rumbled. He was probably leaning against the man now that he made some effort to think about it. 

“What happened?” The voice was sharp and female. 

“He just fell over.” His lord offered simply. Her hands were gentle but firm as they pressed at his glands and felt for any abnormalities. 

“One doesn’t just simply fall over. Did you notice anything odd during your travels? Shortness of breath, sweating, lack of focus?” The woman’s hand pressed to Yuuri’s forehead.

“He’s got a fever. We need to cool him off, quickly. It’s too high.” He felt someone tugging on the kimono at his shoulder and then a short smack.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” Lord Yuri sounded outraged.

“Getting him undressed? To cool him off?” 

“How about I take it over from here? Lord Victor, can we a cool bath drawn for him? Lord Yuri, he’ll need to drink something.” He heard their footsteps as they left, and Yuuri’s weight was shifted over to the woman. 

“There, there. It’ll be all right. We’ll get you fixed up. Be strong for me, okay? I know you can do it.” Yuuri felt himself slipping under again and got flashes of sensations: being in someone’s arms, the cold water in the bath, someone’s fingers carefully prying open his mouth to give him something cold to drink, and the cloth that dried him off when he was removed from the tub. There wasn’t anything else until the small pale slivers of dawn crossed his face, pulling him out of his sleep. Yuuri’s body felt sweaty, probably having just sweated out his fever, and he felt exhausted. His chest felt much better, and he sucked in a deep breath and opened his eyes. Yuuri wasn’t on his futon, but his lord’s, who was nowhere to be found. He slowly sat up and looked around the room. There was a man who eyed Yuuri with excitement and surprise. Yuuri had never seen a more attractive man. His hair was so light, it looked almost silver with the way that it gleamed in the light, and his eyes were the clearest blue sky he had ever seen. The man seemed unaware of Yuuri’s staring.

“You’re feeling better now, I hope? I need to get the physician, but I don’t think Yuri would like it if I left you alone.” Yuuri eyed the man, feeling slightly uncomfortable due to the intensity of the man’s gaze on him. He tugged at the kimono that had come slightly undone to cover himself. The man jumped to the tip of toes and crossed the room with a grace that Yuuri had never seen in another person, let alone a man. 

“What are you?” There was an odd inflection in his voice, like he was frustrated and intrigued at the same time, and he kept getting closer to Yuuri.

“Excuse me, but who are you?” Yuuri scooted back, dragging the kimono that served as a bed cover over the rest of his body to hide it from the man’s roving eyes. 

“You don’t know who I am?” The man stopped where he stood, confusion falling on his features. 

“No, please forgive me if I’m being rude but -”

“You’re awake.” The screen door slid open, and Yuri was panting slightly like he had just come running down the hall.

“I thought I heard Victor’s voice, and - you’re awake.” Yuuri thought he sounded relieved, but he wasn’t sure. 

“I’m terribly sorry for the trouble that I’ve caused you, my lord. If it wouldn’t be too much of a burden, I can move to my quarters for the remainder of the day. I’m afraid I’ll be too weak to perform any tasks that you would require of me. And please forgive me, Lord Victor if I have been impolite in my interactions with you. I wasn’t aware that you were my lord’s intended.” Yuuri moved to stand, but surprisingly, his lord shoved him back down onto the futon with one hand. 

“If you can’t even manage to push back against that, then you have no business doing anything that requires you to move. Rest up. Victor, let’s get the physician, shall we?” Lord Victor eyed Yuuri with something akin to wonder as he let his omega lead him from the room. A woman entered not too long after, and Yuuri assumed that this had been the physician who attended him. She appeared to be a priestess given her attire and the knowing look in her face.

“It’s good to see you well. I see from your trunk that you’ve not been taking your medicine properly. Forgive the intrusion, but I needed to make certain it was an illness and not poison so I searched your things. Have you always had such trouble with your health?” There was blunt edge to her words that was both unusual and welcome. 

“Yes,” Yuuri mumbled meekly.

“You’ll need to take them correctly then. I’m going to prepare something in the meanwhile to help ease your breathing. It appears that the issue is in your chest. You also need to eat properly. You’re too pale and thin.” 

“Yes.” Yuuri felt properly chastised after her brief lecture, dropping his head and giving a small nod. 

“It’s Yuuri, isn’t it?” Her voice was much warmer now, and Yuuri looked up into her face.

“Yes.”

“I’m Minako. Please let me know when your medicines run out. I’ll make more for you. For now, you need to rest.” She left him as quickly as she had come. Yuuri took her advice as another wave of exhaustion passed over him and fell asleep once more. 

Yuuri was woken up regularly at meal times to be fed by his lord who had insisted on feeding him himself. Apart from these brief moments throughout the day, Yuuri didn’t see much of his master. It suddenly occurred to him on the third day while his lord was feeding him lunch that his lord must be sleeping somewhere else. The thought made Yuuri lose his appetite and a heavy feeling sit deep inside him. He turned his head to the side as his lord tried to offer a spoonful of soup.

“What are you doing?” They hadn’t spoken one word to each other since his lord had dragged Lord Victor away a few days prior. 

“I’m sorry. I’m not hungry.” Lord Yuri would have said that he was too dignified to pout, but nevertheless, that was how he showed his displeasure at Yuuri’s comment.

“Not hungry? Are you feeling unwell again? Shall I call for the physician?” There was something in the way he spoke and moved that felt foreign to Yuuri and intensified the feeling. 

“No, I just need to rest more.” Yuri dropped the spoon into the bowl and squinted at his attendant.

“Rest more? Rest more?! You’ve been resting for three days already! When will you get better?” Yuuri didn’t say anything, but the tears falling down his face said enough. His lord sat back and suddenly stood up and left him to his tears. There was something in his lord’s words that cut to his core. Maybe it was just the complete realization that he would never be “well.” There would always be some small sickness that needed treatment until he got sick and died from it. Because that would be what would happen to him inevitably. And he wouldn’t ever know the comfort of a mate, and now, he wasn’t even able to have the comfort of his family close by. 

Yuuri fell into an uneasy sleep. He woke up several hours later simultaneously hungry and nauseated. His master hadn’t returned with his dinner, but he didn’t mind. His strength had mostly returned, enough for him to walk slowly down the halls to the kitchen. There would be someone still there hopefully. A handful of rice would really be all he needed to keep him from starving until breakfast tomorrow. It was only when he turned down a hallway that Yuuri had no idea where he was going. No one had shown him around because he had fallen ill immediately upon arriving. He was following the layout of the Plisetsky estate in his head, but he had no clue where the kitchen was here, and he wasn’t even sure that he knew the way back to his room. Yuuri carefully tiptoed down the halls and paused when he heard a voice cry out. It sounded pained and weak, and Yuuri couldn’t help but move quickly towards it as he recognized it as his lord. His movements paused at the sound that came after. It was familiar, but only through a very basic understanding of mating did Yuuri know that his lord was not only not in any danger whatsoever, but that he certainly wouldn’t want to be disturbed. Yuuri turned around immediately and stumbled back down the hallway. He felt dizzy and much more nauseated. He slid open the door to the inner courtyard and laid down on the deck. The cool air and lack of motion helped dissipate the nausea and lull him to sleep once more. 

“What are you doing?!” 

“I’m carrying him back to your room.” 

“Why are you carrying him? What’s happened?” Yuuri felt the man holding him stop walking and turn around. 

“Why aren’t you aware of him? A servant found him outside, and his fever is back. He's your attendant, and you said that you would insure his health, but you’ve done little to help him. If he means so much to you, you need to show it more. Otherwise, let my servants take care of him like I offered in the first place. There’s no need to be a petulant child. Besides, it will give us more time together. Honestly, I don’t know why you would need an attendant any longer anyways – ”

“Well, I’m not his keeper. I can’t constantly be watching him. And I’m not sending him away! What’s the point? I’ve already paid for him, and I’m sure that his family has spent the money. They wouldn’t be able to afford his return. He’s mine.” 

“Hmm? Well, what’s yours is technically mine now, little Yuri, so maybe I should sell him off to the highest bidder? He looks like an omega. I’m sure we can get a pretty penny for him – ”

“That’s not funny, Victor.” Yuuri barely had the awareness to understand that they were referring to him, so his reaction to understanding Victor’s words and the suggestion of his being sold was delayed. Yuuri pushed against the alpha’s chest and toppled out of his arms and fell to the floor. Both men stood still as Yuuri groveled before them. 

“If you must be rid of me, please send me back home. I can work off my price, but please send me home.” 

“You’re not going anywhere!” His lord snapped, foot slamming onto the ground for emphasis and to pull Yuuri’s attention away from the floor. 

“What I think my darling husband is trying to say is that we have no intention of getting rid of you. Forgive me for my crude remarks. I was only trying to make him aware of his feelings.” Victor’s voice was close, and Yuuri turned his head towards the sound. Victor’s face was right in front of Yuuri’s. He dropped down to the floor again. Yuuri felt off, and the cool wood under his face eased the feeling. 

“Minako! Minako!!!” His lord was calling for the physician, but Yuuri could barely focus on his face as he lifted his head.

“Yuuri, stay with us.” The last thing Yuuri heard was Victor’s command which sounded more like a plea. His name sounded so lovely coming from him.

It took another week for his fever to be completely gone and another week after that for him to recuperate and recover from the coughing fits. Minako had pronounced the medications he was taking as ineffective and began to make her own batches for him to use. Yuuri noticed an almost immediate difference. It was much easier to breathe and smell. He noticed that everything seemed sharper and clearer. It didn’t completely fix everything though. It left him much weaker, and he began taking a nap daily in an effort to recharge.

Given Yuuri’s illness and their new relationship, Yuuri’s lord didn’t stop by to check on him or feed him any longer. Yuuri was mostly left to his own devices which as he got better became a source of restlessness for him. He longed to do something, even if it was just a small task set out by his lord. There was also the lingering ache in his chest, however, that prevented him from outright asking his lord for anything. Yuuri wasn’t quite sure what it was, but the pain tightened every time his lord’s green eyes met his own. For one reason or another, Yuuri hadn’t spoken about the pain with Minako, mostly due to its inconsistency. The more time he spent apart from his master, the harsher the pain was. 

Yuuri’s health had more or less stabilized due to Minako’s medicines, but with the growing ache, Yuuri was losing weight due to his lack of appetite. It was an odd feeling for Yuuri who had the tendency to overeat when nervous, but he found that the more he tried to force himself to eat, the sicker he felt. 

One day, a few weeks after his lord’s arrival to Lord Victor’s estate, Yuuri was sitting out on the deck looking out onto the garden. The weather was growing colder quickly, but the sun was still shining and its warmth pleasant. He heard footsteps behind him but paid them no mind. No one approached him, although he wasn’t exactly sure as to the circumstances that influenced that, he had a feeling that it was due to his odd position as Lord Yuri’s unnecessary attendant. 

“Yuuri.” It had been a while since he heard his master’s voice. There was something in the omega that made Yuuri feel the need to care for him, more than any other omega he had met. 

“My lord.” 

“Minako says that you’ve been losing weight.” Yuuri couldn’t decide how to best respond and offered a small nod to give his lord an affirmative. He seemed to be glowing lately. His blond hair was shinier, and his usual frown wasn’t set so deeply into his face. Moreover was the bright mate mark on his neck. There were three small lines that drew together to a point on his neck. The color was a faded plum that had been bright purple after his lord had been marked. It would continue to fade until it was a dark pink.

“Are you – are you happy here?” Yuuri sensed that there was another question being asked and carefully thought over how he wanted to respond.

“I never thought my life would bring me here, my lord, but I am thankful that it has because I’ve been able to serve you. I hope to one day be worthy of the position that I’ve been given and be a better attendant to you.” His master’s cheeks darkened to a rosy pink.

“So, you wouldn’t want to be mated?” The question made the throbbing in Yuuri’s chest sharpen.

“Not if it meant that I wouldn’t be able to serve my lord.” The thought of leaving his lord to serve another or to be mated was preposterous. Yuuri could only imagine of returning to his family if he was ever forced to leave. His master knelt down next to Yuuri, his hands folded on his lap. 

“You aren’t lonely without a mate?” Yuuri thought that his master sounded scared but couldn’t figure out why that might be. 

“I suppose to some extent that I am, but I’ve never expected that I would find one.” His lord stayed silent to let Yuuri continue.

“I’m oftentimes sick which tends to be a trait that others find unattractive, in addition to the fact that I probably won’t live very long. I suppose it would be nice to have one, but it would be selfish when I would most certainly be gone from this world in a few years time.” Yuuri turned to give his lord a smile but was knocked over as his lord launched himself at Yuuri.

“No! I forbid it! I don’t want to hear anymore.” The omega’s arms were wrapped tightly around his stomach, and the pain that had been occupying the space in his chest was gone at the touch. Instead, he felt light and warm. It was the best that Yuuri had felt in a while. 

“Of course, I will do as you command, my lord, but I don’t have power over my own death.” 

“Stop! I can’t bear it. You cannot leave me.” Yuri shuffled around until his head was on Yuuri’s lap.

“Play with my hair, and tell me a story.” Yuuri obliged his master, his fingers untangling the soft blond hair, rubbing into his scalp, recalling a story about him and his sister when they were younger. He could feel Yuri nodding off but didn’t move him. Yuuri held him as he slept, feeling truly content for the first time since they had arrived, but that feeling was nothing compared to the one he felt when he heard a soft mumble that fell from his lord’s mouth.

“Yuuri, you smell … perfect.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small blip of sexual content in this chapter. (Just one sentence.) 
> 
> Mention of mpreg, but **I will not be including it my work.**

Yuri was warm on his lap, and all of his harsh edges seeped out as he napped. Yuuri felt a breeze on the back of his neck and shivered as he felt Victor sit down next to him and lean into his side, petting Yuri’s hair. Victor’s proximity felt uncomfortable to the beta who hadn’t ever been that close to an alpha. Victor’s fingers drifted from Yuri’s soft blond strands to Yuuri’s ebony locks. 

“He’s right, you know,” Victor whispered. Yuuri knew that he blushed with his whole body and that fact hadn’t escaped Victor’s gaze. Victor nudged closer, and Yuuri froze. Instead of breaching his space further, Victor pulled back to stare at him.

“Why are you pulling away?” He seemed genuinely confused by Yuuri’s small rejection. Yuuri paused for a brief moment wondering whether or not he should admit to the fact that his lord didn’t want them to have contact. He shifted to the side slightly and watched as the action brought shock to Victor’s face. Yuri made a small noise in his lap, and Yuuri broke his eye contact with Victor to stare down at his little lord. He seemed so at peace, and part of Yuuri yearned for more time between them spent like this, but now that he was mated there were expectations weighing down on his small shoulders. A hand on his chin pulled his face away from the small omega draped in his lap and towards the silver haired alpha who searched Yuuri’s face for something. 

Out of instinct, Yuuri dropped his brown eyes but kept his head in place. He didn’t particularly want to invoke an alpha’s wrath, even if he didn’t seem like any alpha he had ever met before. 

“What are you?” There was that question again and again. Yuuri didn’t quite know what to make of it, but it seemed he didn’t need a response as Victor answered his own question.

“You’re no beta. You don’t smell like one, but you don’t smell like anything else I’ve ever come into contact with.” Yuuri felt his lord stirring on his lap, and shivered at the thought that Yuri would wake up and see him like this with Victor, so without another thought, he snapped his head back.

“I’m a simple beta and nothing else, my lord. And I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t be so free with your affections. It isn’t acceptable for an unmated beta to receive such attentions, and I have no other desire than to serve my lord.” If Victor had seemed shocked before, he was floored now. His jaw dropped in awe, staring at Yuuri as if he had sprouted another head.

“Yuuri, you’re too loud,” his master grumbled from his lap. Yuuri caressed his lord’s face, barely touching his skin. 

“My apologies, my lord.” Yuri groused something inaudible, burying his face against Yuuri’s thigh. Victor’s face seemed to cloud over, and before Yuuri could react, he had picked up his master in his arms and carried him off down the hallway. His lord had woken up instantly at the treatment and bumped his fists angrily against Victor’s chest as he verbally harassed him for rudely waking him from his sleep. Victor didn’t say a word and latched his mouth to Yuri’s mate mark. Yuri moaned at the contact sending a sharp stabbing pain through Yuuri’s center. He looked back once over his shoulder, and the glazed look cleared when he saw Yuuri’s face. His lord didn’t make any further protest, and Yuuri turned his attention to the setting sun.

The next day there was an eerie stillness throughout the mansion. Yuuri tried not to notice that he hadn’t seen anyone as he made his way towards the dining hall. There were only a few servants inside instead of the usual two-dozen or so people, and the ones that were in there didn’t look up when Yuuri entered. This scene felt oddly familiar and not in a good way. Yuuri received his portion and sat off to one side of the room where he usually sat. He didn’t know if the people had been talkative before his arrival, but they certainly weren’t now. As he finished up his breakfast, a loud ruckus just outside the door drew everyone’s attention. Yuri walked in, foul mood emanating from him, with Victor hot on his heels. Neither one said a word, but their tension was visible. The servants cleared out, and Yuuri got up to leave as well. He had a feeling that he didn’t want to be in the room with these two. 

“Oh, Yuuri! Come and sit with us,” Victor called to him, waving him to come closer. Yuuri’s eyes went wide, and he glanced to his lord to see if he should approach them or offer some excuse. Yuri’s face hadn’t been pleasant when he entered, but his annoyance at Victor’s comment was immediately apparent.

“I’m sorry, my lord, but I’ve already finished, and I should leave you two to enjoy your meal in peace without me disturbing – ”

“Yuuri, you’re not disturbing anything. Why, just now, your precious little lord confessed how dear you were to him. Isn’t that so, sweetheart?” Yuri’s cheeks flamed at Victor’s comment but that didn’t stop him from continuing.

“Besides, I’m not _your_ lord, Yuuri. I’m your lord’s alpha.” The last word hit Yuuri like a punch in the gut. He felt dizzy. 

“If you’re precious to my mate, Yuuri, then you’re precious to me, too. Please come sit with us.” The sweet, amusing tone returned to his voice, and Yuuri knew he had no argument or ability to reject the polite command, not without inciting his anger. It would only have been possible had Yuri protested, but he didn’t. Yuuri cleared his dishes first, and then sat on the opposite side of the table from the mated couple. Victor had one arm thrown around his mate possessively, and Yuuri couldn’t tell if Victor was eyeing him as a potential threat. 

“Yuuri, tell us something from your childhood,” Victor pressed when it appeared that no one was going to speak and fill the awkward silence. 

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to bore you with my stories.” 

“Nonsense, I’m certain anything you say would be vastly entertaining.” Yuuri didn’t agree, but he thought it might be best not to say otherwise. He tried to think back on something that might be interesting but came up blank.

“I’m so sorry, but I honestly can’t think of anything. I never really played much as a child. I was – it – no one expected me to outlive my childhood.” Yuuri grew quieter with each word, his eyes focused on a small deep brown ring in the wooden table. 

“Have you always been sick?” Victor sounded genuinely concerned which drew Yuuri’s attention from the table. Beside him, Yuri looked relaxed and a little melancholy, but he no longer seemed to be upset. Yuuri felt his breath catch. 

“Yes,” Yuuri trailed off, staring to the side. 

“So you must have been taking a lot of medicines to keep you well.” It sounded like Victor had just understood something that Yuuri had no knowledge of. He felt a wave of heat wash over him when Yuri hummed contentedly as Victor absently ran a hand down Yuri’s neck before rubbing small circles in his back. Despite the awkward tense vibe they had walked in with earlier, they both seemed much more at ease than they previously had. 

“You both seem happier,” Yuuri shot out, a wide smile breaking across his face. The stomach pain both eased and sharpened with his words. Victor broke into the first genuine smile that Yuuri had seen which sent another wave of warmth crashing through him while Yuri’s gaze fixed to Yuuri’s face but didn’t show any other acknowledgement that he had heard him.

“Yes, well, arranged matings don’t always work out so well,” Victor gave Yuri the same genuine smile that he had just given Yuuri. Yuri huffed and looked away but couldn’t hide the pleased look and slight blush that settled in his cheeks and tip of his nose.

“They don’t?” Yuuri asked without thinking. The idea of mating in and of itself was so far removed from his life that he hadn’t even paused to consider that an arranged mating would probably be much more complicated. 

“Well, oftentimes, there are compatibility issues between the omega and alpha because they didn’t choose to mate one another, so it can take a while for them to actually mark each other. It helps that Yuri and I knew each other and have enough affection to understand the necessity of the mark. Mating with someone changes your feelings for someone regardless of whether or not you want them to change. I have hope we’ll grow to love one another, and it won’t just be the intensity that draws us together.” As he said this, Victor ran his fingers through Yuri’s hair, scratching at his scalp, trailing down to the back of his head and kneading the tense flesh before rubbing the pad of his thumb over Yuri’s mate mark. That was all it took for him sit up and rub his nose against Victor’s own mark. The air was thick with their scents and growing arousal. Yuuri fled. 

He knew it hadn’t been intentional, but he hadn’t wanted to witness that. Had he? It was the first time that Yuuri had ever felt the heat of arousal scorch through his system. Despite being twenty-three, Yuuri hadn’t ever really felt any sexual urges. His previous physician had assumed it had been a combination of his health issues and being a beta. If that was the case, then maybe Minako’s medicine was different enough for him to experience it in a way behind his rare dreams and morning erection. 

Yuuri returned to his room, overwhelmed by the smell of his lords, and found himself hard and unable to make it go away. His hand drifted underneath his kimono, fisting himself until he came with a small whimper and a deep feeling of shame. He tried to ignore the fact that his sexual fantasy featured both of his lord’s and focus on something practical like getting a refill of his medicine and maybe finding a tactful way to ask Minako if her medicine would influence him the way he thought it might be. 

Later that afternoon, a messenger arrived with a letter for Yuuri. He felt immensely relieved at seeing his mother’s hand and even more so when he read how well the onsen was doing. It appeared to be thriving in his absence, and there was a distinct possibility that Mari not only might have found a mate, but one who was willing to help run the shop which had turned all of their moods around. They also relayed that Phichit had visited the onsen looking for him. 

Phichit had been his childhood best friend. He had moved just after he presented and his father passed away. He and his mother had returned to her home village to live with her parents. Yuuri’s mom indicated that Phichit would be making his way to Yuuri before he returned home. The prospect of seeing a familiar face made Yuuri ecstatic. Given the date of the letter, it was likely that Phichit would make it to the estate tomorrow. 

Yuuri waited until lunch to inform his lord of his friend’s imminent arrival, although his lord only replied with a deep scowl. It seemed like that response was the best he was going to get however. He tried to imagine his friend now and what he would look like. It had been quite the surprise that he had presented as an alpha. He wondered if he had a mate. They would probably just as sweet and wonderful as Phichit was. 

The hours passed by agonizingly slow as Yuuri anticipated Phichit’s arrival. Each second felt like it lasted for a minute, and so, what was only a few hours felt like more than day when Yuuri got ready for dinner. There was a light knock on the wooden frame, and Yuuri slid the screen open. A servant held out a tray of food for him that he accepted without a comment. When it finally dawned on him that something wasn’t quite right, he looked up to see if they were still there, but they were long gone. Yuuri shut the door and ate quietly in his room. Was it a message that he wasn’t wanted at dinner, or was someone trying to be kind? There wasn’t any way that he could see it being the latter as he got so little interaction with others in general, but why would his presence be unwelcome at dinner? He thought back to his lord’s face during lunch. Had his comment about Phichit been that upsetting? It seemed within the realm of possibility, but he couldn’t figure out exactly why. 

Yuuri could have left his dishes in the hallway to be cleared, but he wanted to see if maybe he had been wrong about his lord being upset. As he got closer and closer to the dining hall, he could hear the happy hum and swell of noise as it spilled out into the hallway. Yuuri’s stomach churned anxiously. He slipped in through the back to place his tray to get washed when he overheard two servants gossiping.

“Yes, someone said that they overheard the young lord asking for extra servings.”

“Do you think he's already with child?”

“Well, it’s no secret that Lord Victor hasn’t been able to keep his hands to himself. They clear out the wing every night with their lovemaking.” Yuuri felt a violent shiver ripple down his spine. He glanced up at the high table to see if there could be any truth to the rumors. Yuri looked stunning. He was wearing one of the new kimono Victor had given him. He was smiling and happy. Yuuri hadn’t ever seen him so happy around others. Was it due to him being pregnant? Was it due to his absence? Yuuri whipped right back out to the hall, just missing Victor’s piercing gaze as it fell on him. He found a quiet place outside to silently regurgitate his meal before returning to his room to fall asleep quickly. 

The next morning Yuuri was brought another tray that he left out in the hallway. His nerves filled his stomach, and it reminded him so much of the previous evening, he couldn’t force himself to eat. He didn’t move from his futon for the entire morning, laying as silently as possible when the servant returned to take the tray back. Another person stopped by shortly afterwards, pausing outside his door, almost as if they were listening for any sounds before padding off. He heard another tray being set down outside his room for lunch, and this time Yuuri forced himself to at least drink the soup. Just as he returned the empty bowl to the tray, a servant came walking briskly up the hall.

“There is a Phichit Chulanont here to see you.” Yuuri nodded and straightened his kimono. It had been the one he wore the previous day, and suddenly, Yuuri felt keenly aware of how gross he felt for not having bathed or changed. He called out to the servant to see if there was bath water available and hurried off to wash up and change before meeting Phichit. 

Yuuri entered one of the smaller rooms where Phichit had been waiting for him. He was surprised to see his lord and Lord Victor in the room as well. Phichit smiled up at him as soon as he entered, but the smile faltered when he took in his appearance.

“Yuuri?” Yuri and Victor looked up to see him too, both paling with Phichit as they took him in. Yuuri gave Phichit a nod, sitting down at the end of the table. There was a beat before Phichit turned to Victor and Yuri.

“You had mentioned that you were taking care of him and his health in particular.” There was a hostility in his tone that Yuuri had never heard from him before. His alpha scent had seeped into the air which caused Victor to sit up and pull Yuri into his side.

“We’ve been doing our best. It isn’t our fault if he won’t eat,” Yuri snapped. Yuuri felt tears prick at the corner of his eyes. As excited as he had been for Phichit to come, he didn’t want to be in this room for a second longer.

“I’m sorry for having been a burden. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll see myself out.”

“No!” The word rang out from both Yuri and Phichit which caused him to draw back. Phichit turned his attention to Yuuri, a bright smile lighting up his face.

“I’m sorry for having spoiled our reunion. I’m just shocked because you look so unwell. I had been hoping to ask you for something, but now I won’t take no as an answer.” His eyes swept back over to the pair across the table from him.

“And I’ve already told you, my answer is no,” Yuri hissed. 

“I’m not asking you, omega. It’s clear to me that neither one of you have been doing the job you’ve been asked by taking him into your care.” Phichit turned to face Yuuri and continued.

“I had hoped, initially, that I might have run into you at your parent’s onsen. I had saved up to ask them if I might take you with me to be my mate, but they informed me that you had already been taken into a young lord’s house as his personal attendant. They said they would give me their blessing if you would have me, so I decided to come visit you and see if you were better off here. I wasn’t going to be selfish and ask you to leave if you were going to have a better life here, but it seems there isn’t anything to ask. Please, Yuuri, I implore you to make the right choice, not even for me, but for you. Please be my mate. I’ll make sure you’re happy and healthy.” To say that Phichit’s words shocked him was an understatement. The sharp pain in his stomach exploded at his words, and he realized that the thought of leaving was what aggravated the pain. Yuri took one look at him before exploding.

“And you have no idea what you’re asking of him! Do you see that the mere suggestion of leaving brings him pain? I understand your concerns because they are mine as well, but I will not allow you to take him. We will not allow you to take him from us. He is ours!” The pain was replaced with warmth that was doused with an icy cold wave as Victor crooned to Yuri. 

“And are you so blind that you don’t see that you’re the ones making him unhappy? Look at him, really look at him, and tell me that you don’t see that his suffering isn’t at your hands?” 

“I think we all need to calm down for Yuuri’s sake. Yuuri? Come here.” Victor beckoned the beta, and Yuuri swept his eyes over to his lord who nodded. Yuuri shuffled forward and was instantly crushed against Victor’s side. The warmth that had previously comforted him was nothing compared to the heat pouring through him now. Tears pricked at the corner of his eyes again when he realized that Victor was crooning once more and that this time it wasn’t for Yuri but just for him. His tears spilled out, and he shoved his face into Victor’s chest as he rubbed Yuuri’s back in the same soothing motion that he had just used on Yuri. Yuuri felt blanketed in a warmth that he had never felt before. He had never felt so calm and happy. He took a few deep breaths, catching Victor’s scent with each drag of air and whiffs from Yuri as well. Once Yuuri had completely calmed himself, he sat up, noticing that Victor hadn’t moved his arm that had snaked around his back, fingertips caressing his side. 

“Firstly, I’d like to apologize to all of you for being a cause of worry. I don’t mean to avoid my meals purposefully, I just haven’t been hungry enough to eat them and have stomach pains and – ” Yuuri’s voice hitched, but Victor’s croons rumbled out again, keeping him steady enough to continue. 

“So, I’m very sorry.” Yuuri scooted out of Victor’s arm and groveled before them. After they asked for him to sit back up, he stayed where he was to direct his next comment to Phichit.

“Phichit, you have always been dear to me. You’re one of my oldest friends. I’m sorry again for worrying you, but if you’re asking me to leave my lord and his alpha, I’m afraid I must humbly refuse.” Yuuri dropped his forehead to the tatami mat again. 

“This is your answer?” Yuuri could feel the tears returning as his friend’s anguish caused his tone to waver.

“It is.” Phichit lifted his head gently from the floor, wiping Yuuri’s tears and giving him his familiar wide smile. 

“I just wish for you to be happy. Can you do that for me?” Phichit pulled him into an embrace, his smell enveloping him before releasing him.

“I should get going. My mother is expecting me home today. Please don’t hesitate to send me a letter should you change your mind. I’ll wait for you until you find a mate.” Before Yuuri could tell him not to make such a promise, Phichit pressed a kiss to his forehead and left the room as Victor and Yuri growled at the show of affection. Once he had left, the three sat silently in the room, and the happy feeling began to leak out of Yuuri like a popped bubble. His desire to retreat to his room returned, but before he could ask to be excused, Yuri shot out a hand and pulled him over so that he was between him and his mate. Yuri pressed him against Victor and himself as he grumbled.

“I don’t like you smelling like him.” Yuuri couldn’t help the smile that lifted at the corners of his mouth which grew big as Victor let out a chuckle, pulling the beta and omega into his chest.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuri POV Chapter

“You know he’s growing on you,” Yuri said as he pinned up his blond hair with one of the combs that he had been gifted for mating Victor. He normally kept his hair fairly short, but he liked the longer length these days and, he suspected, so did Victor.

“I never said I didn’t like him.” Victor placed a kiss to his cheek that turned into an open-mouthed trail ending at his mate mark. Yuri felt himself grow hard instantly.

“Fuck, Victor. Again?” He was rewarded with a chuckle and a well-placed hand. Yuri didn’t even notice as he slipped his own hand into Victor’s hair, tugging on the silver strands as Victor sucked on his mark and worked his length. Victor had the blond coming in no time at all due to Victor’s ability to discover anything and everything that Yuri liked. It was beyond thrilling to finally have a release. It was incredible how pent up he was from the three year period since he presented. Victor wiped off his hand on some old rag that they kept near the bed for that purpose and nuzzled his face into Yuri’s neck.

“I can smell it on you. Thinking about it again?” Yuri clicked his tongue but didn’t respond. Of course he was thinking about it again. How could he not? The last three years had a huge impact on him. 

“Go attend to your alpha duties, Victor. I’m not in the mood.” Yuri rolled his shoulders, slipping out of Victor’s reach. Victor grabbed Yuri’s lithe figure as he tried to move away. 

“This is my alpha duty. Tell me your troubles.” Victor’s hand at the small of his back had Yuri shivering. 

“I’d like to be able to have a conversation with you without it leading to sex, for starters.” Victor laughed, releasing the omega.

“Fine, fine. You aren’t the only one who’s been holding back for a few years though, so keep that in mind.” Yuri shot Victor a vicious look, and the playful smile fell from Victor’s face. 

“You want to talk about the fact that you’ve only gone three years without when you had plenty of time to sow your seeds and take suppressants? I had to go through three years of heats without any type of suppressants, Victor, as you damn well know. So, why don’t you stop pretending like it’s the same thing?” Victor sighed.

“And I still don’t understand why you didn’t just pick another alpha? Why were you so insistent on me? Or at the very least, why not get another omega to service you?” Neither one of them brought up the fact that Yuuri’s intended purpose had been for that exact service, despite his being a beta.

“I’ve told you already, I didn’t trust any of the other alphas that grandmother presented to me, and since you were so hell bent on not bedding a child, I needed to wait three years –”

“I wasn’t going to mate you at fifteen, Yuri. I was a grown man! It’s disgusting that omegas get shipped off to whatever alpha will have them no matter how old they are.” 

“I’m no more of an adult now than I was then, Victor. If you considered me a child then, consider me one now. I haven’t grown anymore. I don’t feel particularly wiser. I think the only thing that happened is now your conscious has eased.” Victor threw his hands up in frustration. A cautious rapping paused their argument.

“Yes?” Victor called out. One of the servants avoided eye contact with both of them; obviously, their argument had been overheard.

“My lords,” the servant greeted. “Minako-sensei is asking for you, Lord Victor.”

“I’ll be there shortly.” The servant took the dismissal, quietly shutting the door before speeding off down the hallway. Victor waited a moment, and Yuri thought he was going to speak, but he left the omega alone in the room. Yuri tried to rearrange the heavy kimono he was wearing that had gotten disheveled in his brief dealings with Victor. It was next to impossible to do it alone. He opted for getting up to visit Yuuri to have him help redress. While he would never admit to it aloud, he also wanted to see Yuuri’s face. Yuri couldn’t quite explain the comfort in seeing the dark-haired man. The omega in him was desperate for affection, and he knew that he could easily find it with Yuuri, and even more than that, he wanted to. 

Yuri slipped out of the room silently, making his way to his quarters. With a pang, he realized how isolated Yuuri was from the rest of the house. Maybe they could have him moved to one of the rooms closer to his and Victor’s. As much as he didn’t want Victor laying eyes on him, a desperate omegan feeling that he was constantly trying to quash, he wanted Yuuri close. It looked like Victor’s efforts to have him fed weren’t working as the tray of food sat outside his door. Yuri sighed and slammed the screen door open. 

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t this. Yuuri was curled up in a fetal position on his futon, circles so dark under his eyes they could have been painted on, and a haunted look that was set deep into his brown eyes. Yuuri didn’t move at all. Yuri’s instincts were going off, telling him that something was deeply wrong, that Yuuri was distressed, but he didn’t know how to fix it. In the end, he entered the small room, shutting the door behind him much more quietly than how he had opened it and slipped into the warm bedding, curling up next to Yuuri. His smell washed over Yuri making him feel completely relaxed as he drank in the light floral scent. 

Slowly, very slowly, like the sun finally peeking out and melting months of snow, Yuuri thawed and cocooned the omega in his limbs, allowing Yuri to meld deeper into his embrace. 

He woke up to someone running their fingers through his hair, and he shoved his head into the contact. Victor let out a breathy laugh, evidently trying to keep quiet.

“There’s my sweet omega.” Yuri couldn’t help but purr at the attention. It was an embarrassing sound, but there wasn’t anything better than physical affection and praise from his alpha and being wrapped in Yuuri’s arms made it all the sweeter. 

“They’re preparing dinner,” Victor whispered. Yuri felt the beta next to him shift uneasily.

“Would you have them bring up two trays?” Victor lifted a brow at the request.

“Please? I want to see if I can help him eat.” Yuri laid on thick the omegan whine that he knew Victor would be useless against. His effort paid off as the alpha leaned over to place a chaste kiss to his lips.

“I’ll have them bring up something shortly.” Victor’s eyes raked Yuri’s form as his kimono had slipped off his shoulder during his nap. Yuri didn’t fail to notice that Victor also turned his attentions briefly towards Yuuri. Before Yuri could make a complaint regarding that fact, Victor pressed his thumb against Yuri’s mate mark which had Yuri’s breath coming in pants and arousal pooling in his gut. 

“Careful, sweetheart. We aren’t alone.” Yuri knew his scent was thick in the air; his pulse was hot and fast. Surprisingly, Victor’s statement hadn’t doused the flames like it was meant to. There was something intoxicating about imagining Yuuri playing witness to watching him get split open on Victor’s cock, and if he was being honest with himself, the idea that the beta might help stuff him played into that fantasy. Victor took a deep breath and left the room. Given how heavy their hormones had been influencing them, it was obvious that Victor’s level of self-control was astronomically high. Yuri, on the other hand, wasn’t used to denying himself any longer. However, he wasn’t sure how Yuuri would react to waking up from smelling his arousal, so he worked to calm himself down. 

Just as Yuri felt like he wasn’t hot with his desire any more, he felt Yuuri tug him back in possessively. He froze when he felt the beta press himself against his side.

“Yuri.” It was the first time the beta had used his given name, and he knew it was only because he wasn’t entirely awake. He smiled into Yuuri’s chest. The servant quietly set their food down in the hallway. Yuri slipped out of Yuuri’s grasp to open the door to air out the room and bring in the food. 

“Yuuri, wake up.” The beta turned over to face Yuri and blinked a few times before a sweet smile spread across his face.

“C’mon, let’s try and eat, okay?” Yuuri nodded, a light blush painting his cheeks red as he reached for his tray. 

“Nope.” Yuri lightly smacked Yuuri’s hand. 

“Open up.” The light blush that had graced Yuuri’s cheeks flushed a deep scarlet as he tried to conjure up an excuse to prevent himself from being fed by Yuri.

“Excuse me, my lord, but you don’t need to do that. Besides your food will get cold, and really what would someone think…” Yuri took the chopsticks in his hand and grabbed a mouthful of the pickled vegetables on Yuuri’s tray before plugging his nose which forced his mouth open. He quickly shoved the bite inside as he let go of his grip on Yuuri’s nose. The beta stared confusedly at the omega before slowly chewing the bite. Yuri smirked as Yuuri continued to allow himself to be fed. He seemed oddly skittish and timid, but by the time his food was cleared, Yuuri was in much better spirits. 

“I’m sorry that your food is cold…” Yuuri trailed off. The omega didn’t reply, just shoveled the lukewarm food into his mouth. It wasn’t that great to eat when it wasn’t fresh, but his happiness that Yuuri had managed to eat a whole meal overrode his mild disgust at his food. Victor arrived just as Yuri was finishing up his meal. Yuri watched as the beta withdrew into himself. Was Yuuri’s behavior really his own fault? Maybe he had been too selfish when he asked Yuuri to stay, but that was his choice as well, right? 

“Stop worrying.” Victor poked at Yuri’s scrunched brows. He swatted the hand away from his face. Yuri didn’t notice that Yuuri excused himself to take back the trays until he turned around to address him. 

“C’mon, let’s go back to my room.” 

“Oh god, you gigantic oaf, get off!” Victor had smashed Yuri down to the floor where they lay in tangled heap.

“You’re incorrigible. Can’t I get away from you for a few hours?”

“Hmm, no. Besides, we’re going to need to keep this up if you have any intentions on being a parent.” Yuri felt an ice-cold shock wash over his system. He had still neglected to tell his alpha that he was on contraceptives. 

“You know, the servants already think that you’re carrying my pups.” Victor patted Yuri’s stomach gently. Yuri cringed and squirmed away. A dark look passed over Victor’s face. 

“Although, I suppose it’ll be pretty hard to do when you’re doing everything to make sure you won’t get pregnant?” Yuri jerked up.

“I’m not ready to be a parent, Victor. I don’t even know if I want children!” Victor let out a huff of air, looking towards the doorway. 

“Look, I’m not saying that’s a problem, but it’s something that you should have talked about with me.” 

“Victor, you may be my alpha, but I don’t have to disclose everything that I do with you. If I’m not ready, and I don’t want them, then I’m not going to get pregnant, end of story.” 

“Did you even think about the fact that your grandmother will be looking to see if you get pregnant? It will affect us both if we don’t have an heir.” Yuri got up and walked out of the room, ignoring Victor who called out behind him. He felt Victor’s hand wrap around his arm and pull him short.

“It doesn’t matter to me, Yuri. What matters more to me is that you’re making decisions that affect the both of us without talking to me. That’s all I want, to be included. If you’d wanted someone to just fuck you through your heats then you would have picked a different alpha. I don’t want that, Yuri. I wanted – I want a real mate.” The air was heavy between them.

“I don’t know what I want,” Yuri started. The image of his brown-eyed beta flashed as he stared off down the hall.

“You’re lying. Let me mark him, Yuri, and then –” Yuri let out a hiss.

“Don’t you even fucking think about it!”

“You don’t even know what upsets you more! Me marking him or him not being yours. You can’t claim him, Yuri, but someone else can. It would be safer for him if I did.”

“He’s a beta, Victor! It isn’t like he’s an omega. He doesn’t need to be claimed.” Victor shook his head.

“Then why not just let him go? If it’s the comfort that you need from him, let me comfort you.” Victor’s hands cupped Yuri’s face. Yuri’s omegan instinct thrived on his alpha’s touch, but a nagging voice in the back of his mind told him it wasn’t enough. The hands fell away from his face with a sigh.

“I can’t help you where we are right now. You won’t give him up, and you won’t let me claim him. It’s this impasse that makes him so ill. Make up your mind, or your beta will waste away.” Victor knocked his forehead gently against Yuri’s before leaving his mate in the hallway. Yuri rubbed at the spot on his forehead where they had collided. It wasn’t as if he didn’t already know that. He knew that he it was his inability to make a choice that was to blame for Yuuri’s current state of wellbeing, but damn it, Yuuri had a choice, too. Yuuri could speak up and let him know that he wanted a mate or something. It wasn’t like he was truly bound to him for life. Yuri wandered back the way he came towards Yuuri’s room. The room felt strangely empty. It shouldn’t be taking him this long to get back. Had he ventured off for a walk in the garden or around courtyard? 

The air outside was crisp, and there was a bite to the air with each gust of wind. Most of the trees had lost their leaves, although there were no traces of this loss on the ground. There were scattered pine needles which left a light fragrant scent in the air. He heard voices coming from one of the patio decks and made his way over. Yuuri was crouched down, and Minako was next to him, rubbing his back. There were tear tracks on his face, and it made Yuri’s heart ache. He noticed the pile of sick just off the patio. It looked like his effort to feed the beta had been in vain. He came closer to see if he could overhear what it was that was making the beta so distraught.

“I really think you ought to consider it. At least for your health. You barely eat, and get rid of the little that you do eat. Your poor health will suffer if you can’t get any nutrition in.” The beta didn’t show any signs that he heard the physician, but she must have sensed some kind of response because she nodded as if in agreement with something he said.

“If you don’t want to take him as an alpha, then maybe it might be for the best if you return to your home. I don’t think Lord Yuri would object to that, not with your health at risk.” This had been the wrong thing to say as more tears poured down his face. 

“I can’t leave him,” Yuuri choked out. “I know what it’s doing to me, but every time I even barely consider it, I feel worse than I do now. I just wish that these stomach pains would end. I feel so guilty for not being able to eat and not being able to keep it down. I don’t know. I’m so tired.” Yuuri stretched out into a laying position. 

“I’m going to go make you some tea to soothe your stomach. If you don’t figure something out by the end of the day tomorrow, then I’m going to talk with Lord Yuri and Lord Victor. I’m sorry, Yuuri, but your health is more important.” Minako got up and left Yuuri to try and find some peace in his solitary state. Yuri felt conflicted. He wanted to approach him but felt like it would be obvious that he had been eavesdropping. The hell with it. Yuuri needed him. Yuri made his steps audible so that the beta wouldn’t be surprised by his presence. His brown eyes lit up as he watched him approach but looked off to the side where he had been sick. He was definitely ashamed for not being able to keep his meal down. 

Yuri clambered up onto the deck and sat down so that he could lay Yuuri’s head on his lap. He relaxed as he felt Yuuri sink into his touch. He didn’t know if it was because he was an omega or because it was Yuuri, or both, but he couldn’t resist playing with Yuuri’s hair. 

“What can I do to make you happy again?” He felt the beta tense in his lap, but Yuri leaned over and cooed, continuing with his affections until he relaxed once more. 

“Tell me, Yuuri, because I don’t know what to do. Yesterday, you seemed much better until Phichit left, but if he made you happier, then why didn’t you go with him?” Yuri wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer, but at this point, securing Yuuri’s happiness was more important.

“I don’t know. I just get these stomach pains, and I think Minako knows what it’s related to, but she won’t tell me.” The bigger question that Yuri had went unanswered so he rephrased.

“Why didn’t you go with Phichit?” He could feel Yuuri turn over in his lap to look up at him, but he couldn’t meet his eye. He felt a cautious touch to his cheek as Yuuri’s fingertips barely grazed the skin.

“Because I will always choose you.” The honesty shocked the omega but pleased him, too. Yuri felt a sense of relief that he wasn’t the only one who felt connected despite not knowing each other for a long period of time. He would be lying if his heart hadn’t raced at the words, either. 

“I suppose that sounds really odd, and obviously you have a mate, and I don’t mean to imply anything, but I can’t help it. I would like to stand by your side for as long as you’ll let me.” 

Yuuri had unexpectedly walked into his life and managed to turn everything around just when Yuri felt like he couldn’t handle it anymore. Those last few days at his grandmother’s estate, and the little time that they had spent together here were more than enough for him to know that Yuuri was infinitely more precious than some people he had known his whole life. 

“Do you mean it?” The words sounded weak to his own ears. Yuuri looked into his eyes and nodded. The thought made him nervous, but maybe Victor was right. He needed to consider what Victor was offering if it meant that Yuuri would be kept close; it would definitely be worth it, but it would be even better if it had some benefit for his health. Yuri leaned over Yuuri, his nose bumping against the beta’s cheek. Maybe it was the fresh air, but he somehow smelled impossibly sweeter, and it made his heart feel full.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Victor POV

If Minako was right, this would change things. Although, how Yuri would respond to it would be the most important part. If he reacted badly, it would spell out worse things for Yuuri if his assumptions were correct. 

Victor found his eyes glued to his mate and the beta. He couldn’t help but feel warm when he stepped out on the deck and saw his mate leaning over Yuuri. The small cooing sounds from his mate to Yuuri made his heart flutter. 

Given the way that things were progressing between the two, it seemed that they had developed affection for one another. Victor wasn’t bothered by this development. He knew that Yuri needed the attention and affection, and it helped that he had already marked the young omega. Another reason was that Yuuri had piqued his interest in a way that he had never experienced with anyone else before. The beta was an enigma. Regardless, he wasn’t jealous of how much time his mate wanted to spend with the beta. He had, however, felt some jealousy when Phichit had demanded to be Yuuri’s alpha. Just remembering Yuuri’s warm body pressed against his side made his head spin. It was the first time Yuuri had willingly sought out his touch.

Victor didn’t know what to think of the beta avoiding him in any other circumstance. He was self-aware and knew that many a young omega, and beta for that matter, had been attracted to him for numerous reasons. Yuuri was an exception as he spent most of his time trying to avoid Victor. He tried a gentle approach, but Yuuri would dart off with excuses after staring at his mate. He was certain there was more to Yuuri’s puzzling behavior than he knew. Regardless, Victor went about making sure that Yuuri was getting meals sent to his room in order to coax the beta from his self-imposed confinement. This was what led to the rumors that Yuri was already pregnant, rumors which would surely cause problems for them if it got back to Yuri’s grandmother. She had already sent a letter to Victor asking when she could expect to hear about a future grandchild. He needed to find a way to get her attention away from Yuri or at the very least remove themselves from her sphere of influence.

Victor watched as Yuuri reached a cautious hand up to Yuri’s face. His omega smiled so sweetly that Victor felt as if he was intruding. It was an unpleasant feeling. That was one thing that did concern him, what if Yuri didn’t want a romantic relationship with him? It wasn’t as if Yuri would leave him, but would he be left alone again? Would they sleep in separate rooms? Victor knew that he would want to let Yuri do as he pleased, but he also knew that if Yuri wanted to be with Yuuri that he wouldn’t allow for it to continue. The only thing that Victor wanted from Yuri was a real relationship, and it would crush him if after all this time Yuri decided too late that he didn’t want the same thing from Victor.

As much as it was painful for Yuri to suffer through his heats alone, Victor hadn’t ever allowed himself to bond with another. Even just after he presented, there was a small hope that burned in his chest that he would meet someone that would want more than just to be married and have children to pass on their wealth and titles. Maybe it was too much to ask as a lord, Victor already had so much in the way of abundant food and shelter. There were certainly many who went without, and even more who had much less, but this was the one thing that Victor felt like he had to have, the rest of it be damned. It was strangely romantic for an alpha, but he had always hoped he would meet his true mate and fall in love. 

Victor’s eyes widened as Yuri leaned down over the beta. Had he kissed him? Victor felt a wave of worry wash through him. Yuri hadn’t ever treated Victor with the tenderness that he showed the beta. He was beginning to wonder if maybe he was too hopeful in his thoughts about the growth of their relationship. Victor left the two to their moment. 

There were a lot of politics involved in being one of the more highly ranked local lords, and now that Victor finally had his first mate, several neighboring clans sent over gifts for him and Yuri. A few letters arrived indicating that they would be bringing their gifts in person and when they could be expected. It worried him a bit that Yuuri was unmated and that there would be many alphas coming through in the next few weeks, but Victor urgently needed to speak with his adviser and make sure that they planned accordingly to have enough room for all his guests. 

He smelled the beta physician before he saw her but didn’t acknowledge her presence until he came to a stopping point in his work. 

“What is it?” It had come out a little more sharply than he intended, but the stress was getting to him, and he kept finding himself distracted with images of his omega and Yuuri together.

“Lord Victor, we need to consider the possibility that our hypothesis is correct in regards to Yuuri. I don’t think it’s safe to bring in all these guests and leave him so vulnerable. If I may be frank, I think that if we are indeed right in our assumptions, we could have a blood bath on our hands. His hormones would be greatly affected by the delay and – ”

“Minako, nothing you are telling me is news or something I haven’t already thought of.” Victor set aside the letter in his hand with a sigh.

“I can’t do anything if my omega doesn’t want it. I mean I _could_ , but I don’t want to jeopardize my relationship, and frankly, even if I were to go against his wishes, I don’t think Yuuri would want me to.” 

“But if it’s for his – ”

“No.” The word was laced with an alpha command that had Minako stepping back slowly, head dropping with concession that was laced through her body language. 

“The first snow this year will be a harsh one. It will be a long winter.” Victor raised his eyebrows at the non sequitur, but Minako left quietly without another word. 

The letter in front of him was from one of the alphas that Victor liked the least, but he would also have another there at the same time that he enjoyed having around. Hopefully, it would balance out any tensions that would arise, and he could count on Yuri to be welcoming to his guests. He snorted. The idea was amusing. Yuuri on the other hand… He let his thoughts stop there. 

As the day progressed, he felt lonely for the first time since Yuri’s arrival. It was a feeling that he had grown accustomed to over the years, but one that he thought he wouldn’t have to endure after they mated. Had Yuri experienced the same loneliness? He assumed so from the letters they exchanged in the years after Yuri presented. The bitterness in his mate’s tone when he talked about having to go through a heat alone almost made him regret his choice to postpone their mating, although Victor had suggested he find an omega bedmate until Yuri was of age. Victor had even mentioned it the few times he had corresponded with Yuri’s grandmother, but Yuri had been obstinate that the only one he wanted was Victor. Admittedly, the alpha in Victor felt elated that Yuri made that decision and stuck by it on his own. Not that he would have viewed Yuri as “spoiled” by another’s touch, but it made Victor feel special. It had fueled the hope that maybe Yuri was pursuing him for a romantic relationship in addition to building their friendship. In return, Yuri had asked that Victor remain chaste until they were mated. He had no problem complying if it meant that his loneliness had an end date.

The thin sheet of paper in front of him that he was planning on writing his response on was blank. It was difficult to formulate the words necessary to convey a sense of gratitude at a mating gift but hint that maybe the added presence was unnecessary without being rude. He wasn’t very good at these things. The sound of his brush dipping into the ink and running across the paper helped him to relax as he made his best attempt at finding the right words. 

If Yuri didn’t end up letting him claim Yuuri, he was going to need to have a backup plan. He pulled out another section of paper and scratched out a quick message. The alpha in him loathed this plan, but if it wasn’t him, it needed to be someone he trusted would have Yuuri’s best interests at heart. The letter was sent off immediately. Victor hoped he would receive a reply the next day as his recipient wasn’t that far from the estate. 

Victor ate alone in the dining hall that evening after sending two servants to bring food to his omega and Yuuri. The atmosphere was very subdued and reminded him too much of his life before Yuri had arrived. The food seemed bland and unappetizing, and he just couldn’t seem to finish it. He retreated to his room which smelled faintly of Yuri. The scent was much lighter than it had been earlier and much lighter than he would have liked. Victor enjoyed the thick, heavy smell Yuri left behind when he was near Victor. It reminded him of them holing up in his quarters when they mated and the time the spent together riding out their newly mated high. Both his and Yuri’s scents were far more potent than usual. It would have been worse had he been rutting, and he assumed the same would be true for Yuri in heat. The way they combined made him hunger for the omega even more. He found himself reaching for one of the kimono that he had given Yuri. His scent still clung to the cloth. 

“You having a good time, old man?” Yuri’s words were slurred. Victor didn’t jump at the shock. The irritation that had buzzed in his head all day was soothed by Yuri’s presence. 

“Not especially. I see you’ve broken in the bottle of shochu from Otabek.” Yuri grinned and slinked over to Victor, wrapping his small arms around Victor’s neck, his hot hands digging into his hair.

“Why do you stink?” The question hit Victor like a slap in the face. Yuri drew back, realizing what he had said far too late. Mated couples almost never thought their partners smelt bad. It did happen more frequently with arranged matings and was speculated to be due to a lack of romantic connection. Victor’s thoughts that swam through his head all afternoon seemed to be proven true with this one question. The smell of Yuri’s distress laced with another familiar scent made the room feel heavy. The only thing he wanted to do was leave the situation as quickly as possible. He slid open the door to the hallway, relishing the crisp air as it swept through and cleansed the room.

“Victor, I’m so sorry.” Yuri’s small hand tugged on his kimono. He carefully removed the tight grip from his clothes.

“I know.” The spike in Yuri’s scent was overwhelming. Victor left him there. The alpha in him raged, sensing, despite their physical distance, his omega’s distress. It wouldn’t do him any good to go back right now though. His pain cloaked him and radiated off of him, clearing the hallways as he meandered through them. He wasn’t quite sure where he was going, but his feet seemed to have a mind of their own.

The outside door to the inner courtyard was shut, which was unsurprising given the time of day and the deep chill that was setting in. They would probably have their first snow within the next couple of weeks, later if they were lucky. His thoughts drifted back to Minako’s warning. What had she meant by that? The priestess had been known to prophesy before with great accuracy. He’d have to think about what it would mean if the winter was especially harsh this year. 

Soft, sweeping footsteps entered the hall and approached him which was odd given that he was putting off a strong enough scent to keep everyone in this wing away, unless they had been summoned. The person walked behind him quickly, and he caught their sweet floral scent. It was powerful and soothing in a way that reminded him of Yuri. He reached out blindly for the person, pulling their wrist to his nose and nuzzling the scent gland. The person he gripped froze, and then, he realized whom he had grabbed. He didn’t let go of Yuuri but readjusted his grip to be less painful for the beta. He could feel Yuuri’s racing pulse slow.

“I’m sorry. Please just give me a minute.” Yuuri stood there quietly. He wanted to drown himself in his scent. Victor pulled the beta closer, tugging him into his arms. One snaked around his waist while the other held Yuuri’s wrist right beneath his nose. His scent was intoxicating. Victor let out a low growl but stopped when Yuuri whimpered. The beta shifted in his embrace, twisting his neck and offering it up to Victor. His creamy pale skin showed off his scent gland, slightly glistening from the smell he was giving off. How easy it would be to make this decision for all of them and sink his teeth into that sweet scent, but somehow, Victor managed to control himself. He released the beta, rubbing the scent gland on Yuuri’s wrist before releasing that, too. Yuuri looked more content than he had ever allowed himself to be in front of Victor. He would have been lying if he said that didn’t please him.

“I apologize again. You just – your smell is very comforting.” Victor offered the beta a friendly smile and didn’t miss the blush painting Yuuri’s cheeks. 

“Shall I go get Yuri for you?” Yuuri asked weakly. His voice sounded drugged which made Victor feel slightly guilty. He was sure that caressing his scent glands had caused that affect on the beta. 

“No!” Yuuri flinched at Victor’s sharp command.

“Sorry, no, it’s just – no. It’s not a good time. Why don’t you go see if he’s in his room?” Yuuri bobbed a small bow and nearly ran down the hallway to get away from him. He couldn’t figure out a way to open up to the beta without coming off too aggressive. Victor could at least take solace in the fact that Yuuri seemed receptive to compliments from him. 

Victor returned to his room and tried not to be disappointed when he saw that Yuri was nowhere to be found and that their room smelled of his mate’s distress. He lay down on his futon anyways and worked himself into a fitful sleep. 

The next morning he flagged down a servant cleaning the hallway and instructed them to bring two meals to Yuri’s room and one to his own. The look on the servant’s face spoke volumes, but they wouldn’t say anything about his newly mated omega sleeping in a room with his beta attendant. It was potentially a huge scandal if it got out as omegas were permitted other omega bedmates, even after they had been mated, but a beta was generally considered a threat to the alpha. Victor didn’t consider Yuuri a threat, not in the traditional sense. Betas weren’t generally bedmates to omegas prior to mating either which was why it had been so strange for Yakov to select Yuuri, but Victor thought that Yakov might have caught on much sooner than he or Minako had, and certainly sooner than Yuri or Yuuri himself. Regardless, Victor didn’t worry that the servant would say anything. Most were very loyal to him, and he trusted they would use discretion when speaking in private about their lord.

His breakfast arrived quickly, steaming and fragrant. It smelled heavenly. Victor quickly gave his thanks and ate with gusto. After he finished his breakfast, Victor received a written response to the letter he had posted the day before. He ought to inform Yuri and Yuuri, but he decided on a nap first. 

Midmorning, a timid knock on the frame disturbed Victor from his dozing. The screen slid open slowly, and Victor looked up from the bed to see Yuri with a tray of tea and jellied sweets. He set them far enough away so the hot liquid wouldn’t be in danger of spilling but close enough to where they could both reach it. Yuri closed the door behind him and slipped under the covers without a word. His eyes were slightly puffy and red from tears he had shed. Victor’s heart squeezed in his chest at the effort Yuri was making to try and appease him. Bright green eyes followed his every move, and everything in his appearance suggested a contrite apology. Victor ran his fingers through Yuri’s hair, massaging his scalp in a way the omega was especially sensitive to. He purred and shoved his head into the touch, scooting closer to his alpha. Yuri undid the top half of Victor’s kimono and wrapped his arms around his chest, pressing their bodies together. Yuri had done it the first night they spent together, and he had done it since then when he craved Victor’s touch but was too impatient to fuss with completely undressing. He shifted slightly, offering up his scent gland to the alpha.

It smelled different than usual but not in a way that made him uneasy. Whatever was different was familiar enough that it didn’t ignite his jealousy. He licked it, enjoying the shivers that wracked the small omega. The scent was more recognizable after he tasted it, and he found that he couldn’t stop himself from hungrily attacking his mate.

“You scented him,” Victor growled in Yuri’s neck. There was a small whine, and Victor continued.

“You always smell great, but now…” He licked and nipped at the gland, kissing down Yuri’s mate mark and back up to his jaw, following the bone to where it met his ear. He pulled the soft flesh into mouth with a hard suck and treated it more roughly than he had treated the scent gland. Yuri melted beneath him. He could smell the arousal thick in the air and tugged Yuri’s kimono up, too lazy to remove the complicated garment. The scent of Yuri’s slick was so potent he couldn’t smell anything else. He maneuvered the omega so that his legs were spread open, and he had access to what he was after. It wasn’t slow or sweet, but quick and rough, lightly laced with the scent of their anxiety and worries. Yuri was mostly mindless, but for a brief moment, Victor could have sworn that he had finally been treated to one of those tender looks that he had seen him give Yuuri. It made him speed up and sink his teeth into Yuri’s scent gland. The omega came with a cry that Victor swallowed, moving his mouth over Yuri’s, blood from the bite smearing over his pale lips. Victor quickened his pace until he came inside the omega with a groan.

Yuri’s hands had traveled up to his hair, brushing it back and wiping the sweat off his face. Victor moved to pull out before his knot swelled completely, but Yuri held him in place.

“Don’t – just, stay, please?” Victor collapsed on top of the omega, nosing his way up his neck, taking in the change to Yuri’s smell. 

“Shh, it’s okay,” Yuri whispered. Victor hadn’t realized he had been making noises. He peppered small kisses all over until the omega had a huge grin on his face. Victor carefully moved them so that they were on their sides to keep Yuri comfortable until the knot released. 

“Victor?” Yuri’s voice was careful, but he didn’t seem panicked or anxious anymore. There was no telling what the omega would say. 

“Hmm?” Victor kissed Yuri’s forehead just where his wrinkles set in from the slight frown his face held naturally.

“How would it work?” The omega didn’t elaborate.

“You’ve got to tell me more, Yura, if you want me to answer your question.” Yuri huffed in annoyance.

“Marking…Yuuri…how would that work with…us?” Victor felt his heart slam to a stop and then race at the possibility Yuri was considering. 

“I would take him as another one of my mates. Because you're an omega lord, you would be more highly regarded and given more status, especially if you ever carry my pups. I would never treat you differently if I marked him though. Are you – are you saying that’s something you want?”

“No, not exactly. I’m just thinking about it, and I wanted to know more.” Yuri dropped his head against Victor’s chest. Victor placed a kiss on the top of his head. It was a step in the right direction, even if Yuri was only considering it. It would be better for all of them if Yuri and Yuuri agreed to it. He was sure Yuri wouldn’t be happy if Yuuri took another mate and left, but then again, maybe he wouldn’t be the only one upset.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuri's POV

Yuri’s head rested against Victor’s chest. He could hear his heart race, no doubt due to their conversation regarding Yuuri. His limbs twitched at the thought of the omega, and his eyes drooped as he thought back to last night. 

*

“I wish we could mate whomever we wanted,” Yuri pouted, curling into Yuuri’s chest. It felt weird not sleeping with Victor, but Yuuri had so quickly become a source of comfort for him that it didn’t feel as uncomfortable as he thought it would be without his mate.

“Do you wish you hadn’t mated Victor?” Yuuri sounded scandalized, but his arms around Yuri tightened.

“No, not exactly.” The effects of the alcohol had mostly worn off at that point, but Yuri was overwhelmed with a strange desire, one that he simply couldn’t resist. He tugged Yuuri’s head to the side, somehow not surprised at how quickly the beta submitted to him, and rubbed their scent glands together. Yuuri’s hands wound through Yuri’s hair, pinning them together. 

“Yuri,” the beta breathed. He didn’t stop; he couldn’t stop. The humid air between them crackled. 

“Stop!!” Yuuri’s voice was high and breathy, and Yuri barely controlled the impulse to keep going. He felt drunk again. Yuuri’s scent was all over him, and Yuuri smelled like him. He didn’t want to stop. Yuuri’s hands fell from his hair to the sides of his face, pulling the omega off him. Yuri whined at the loss of contact.

“Shhh, there, there. Just give me a minute, okay?” Yuri pouted and rolled away from the beta. After a minute or two, Yuuri pressed his front along Yuri’s back, wrapping an arm around his middle and tucking his legs underneath Yuri’s so that he was encased by the beta. Yuri felt relaxed. There was only one thing he was missing.

“I know you wish this was Victor. I’m sorry. It’ll be better in the morning,” Yuuri offered sleepily into his hair. Yuri could feel the hot breath on the back of his neck moving the hairs there, tickling him lightly. He did want Victor there but something about the beta’s words felt like a knife in his gut.

*

There was a rap on the door, and Victor’s warm frame hugged him closer before he grumbled permission for the servant to enter.

“My lords, your guest has arrived – ”

“Thank you, that’ll be all.” Victor cut them off.

“Victor, who is our guest?” Yuri didn’t miss the way the grey-haired alpha froze before attempting to distract him by running his hands through his hair. Yuri swatted the hands way.

“Victor.” The older man sighed and heaved himself up into a seated position, repositioning his hakama and kimono. 

“Phichit will be here for the next few weeks to serve as Yuuri’s escort.” The omega ripped the covers off and leveled the alpha with a downright frightening glare.

“And you conveniently forgot to mention this? Before we…” Yuri trailed off.

“Don’t think I don’t know that you planned that from the moment you walked in. You wanted me calm and relaxed before you picked my brain about Yuuri.” Victor stood up, double-checking that he looked presentable.

“But you didn’t tell me about Phichit!” 

“You didn’t give me a chance to. Look, Yura,” Victor turned around and kneeled down in front of the omega.

“Until you decide what you want to do, I think it would be safer for him if Phichit watched over him. Especially with as many alphas coming through here as we’ll have in the coming weeks.” 

“But I want you to mark him!” Yuri cried out as Victor stood up. Yuri didn’t miss the flash in his blue eyes.

“Is that really what you want, or are you just jealous because you don’t want Phichit near him?” Yuri stuttered but couldn’t make a coherent reply. Victor’s hand slipped underneath Yuri’s chin, pulling it up so that blue met green.

“I’ll mark him the second you make your decision and make him ours, Yura, but not until you completely sure. You ought to speak with him about it, too. Is this even something that he wants?” Yuri felt blown away as his mate left the room. He really hadn’t even considered the thought that Yuuri wouldn’t want it, not with everything he said about wanting to stay by his side, but that didn’t necessarily mean that he wanted to be mated. Not for the first time in his life, Yuri despised the fact that he was an omega. How much better it would have been if he had been born the alpha, taking Victor and Yuuri as his mates instead of being mated. 

Yuri knew he was still scared that Victor would come to love Yuuri and care for the beta more than him. The only reason he could stand the thought of this happening was because Yuuri was a beta. If he had been an omega, there was no way he would consider it. Yuri would not be the omega for show while his mate kept another in his room. All of this would be far easier if he was capable of placing his own mark on Yuuri. 

A week passed with Phichit following Yuuri around the mansion, sitting next to the beta at meal times, attending his every need, and Yuri was miserable. He was constantly irritable, and the only thing that made him feel slightly better was the knowledge that he wasn’t the only one. Victor looked ready to rip off Phichit’s smiling face every time Yuuri gave him a small smile. But other than that, Victor had gone above and beyond to make sure that Phichit felt welcomed and comfortable. It bothered Yuri to no end as he watched Phichit feed the beta, ensuring he was well-fed for the first time in weeks. Yuuri filled out quickly, and with each passing day, he looked healthier and happier. His cheeks were rosy and full; his kimono fit better, and everyday Yuuri’s scent grew stronger.

Yuri had heard that when some beta were being courted, it was not uncommon for their scent to change and grow, but this was something else. It was overpowering. It also made his judgment clouded. He kept trying to figure out what to do about Yuuri, but even passing by the beta in the hallway as he smiled at Phichit had Yuri wanting to grab him and run him back to Victor’s room. Why was it so necessary that he be mated? Yuuri himself said that he just wanted to stay by Yuri’s side. With Phichit being constantly attached to Yuuri, it also made it impossible for the omega to approach him to ask if being mated to Victor and his bedmate would be something that he wanted. 

At the end of the week, the two expected alphas and their entourage had arrived. Yuri stood next to Victor in the courtyard, decked out in one of the most extravagant kimono that Victor had given him. It had twelve layers, each one more colorful and decadent than the one underneath, including a mix of purples, reds, and mint-greens with bright shimmering gold designs that made Yuri the most visible person in the courtyard. Victor stood with a small polite smile on his left, and Yuuri stood behind him to the right. Yuuri was just as noticeable as Yuri, not for the colors of his outfit which was a deep indigo but more for what he wore.

Traditionally, alphas and beta men wore hakama and kimono tops exclusively while omegas and beta women wore kimono. The more wealth you possessed, the more colorful the kimono was and the more layers were worn. Of course, Yuuri had never worn the traditional hakama in the entire time that Yuri had known the beta and that didn’t change when he stood next to his lord and his lord’s alpha to greet their guests. Yuri tried not to notice the fact that Phichit was standing right next to Yuuri, gaze straight ahead and non-confrontational. The alpha piqued his nerves. 

Speaking of another male who didn’t wear clothing traditionally, Christophe Giacometti stepped out of his curtained cart in a kimono. It’s bright gold showed off his abundant pale skin that was visible because he clearly couldn’t be bothered with tying the sash around the middle well enough to hide his chest. Yuri tried not to sneer at the sight but whipped the fan from inside the folds of his sleeves to hide his face anyways. 

“How is he not cold?” Yuri whispered behind his fan to his mate. Victor’s smile threatened to crack, and he breathed out of the corner of his mouth.

“Sheer determination.” Yuri smirked, thankful to have hidden his face behind the delicate paper. Behind Christophe, sliding off a horse, was Jean-Jacques Leroy. Yuri held the fan up, eyeing the alpha cautiously. His steel-blue eyes flashed to his omega mate that he helped down from her mount before glancing over at Victor and Yuri. Yuri felt himself flush as he made no attempt to hide his piercing gaze from Yuri. He felt someone brush against his right sleeve. Yuuri had stepped slightly forward drawing looks from both Christophe and Jean-Jacques. Yuri flicked a glance to the alphas to gage their reaction, and his skin crawled with the way that they both looked at Yuuri. 

“Yuuri, will you please show the attendants to the rooms their lords will be staying in?” Victor cut through the tense vibe between the two with his request. Yuuri bowed to the alpha, Phichit hot on his heels.

“What are you playing at, Victor?” 

“What do you mean, Yura?” Yuri didn’t respond, scrutinizing the alpha’s every move. 

“Let’s greet our guests, shall we?” Yuri dropped his fan, storing it carefully in his sleeve before greeting the alphas with a bright, very obviously fake smile. Jean-Jacques’ mate raised an eyebrow, hiding her mouth with her sleeve before looking up at her alpha. Yuri bowed deeply to the two.

“It’s very nice to meet you. Please treat me kindly.” Christophe stepped forward, his alpha scent smashing into Yuri. His eyes watered at its potency. It was highly unpleasant for him to breathe in. Victor stepped closer to Yuri but neither touched each other. They were free with their affections in the mansion when they didn’t have guests, but it wasn’t acceptable to be so affectionate around others. Christophe smiled at the mated couple and offered a smaller but still polite bow. 

“Congratulations, please treat me kindly as well,” Christophe offered with a flourish. Jean-Jacques’ hand wrapped possessively around the back of his mate’s neck, stimulating her scent gland and releasing her soft scent before taking a big sniff from his fingers and directing his attention to Yuri.

“How do you do. Treat me kindly.” Jean-Jacques didn’t bow, a fact that didn’t escape Victor nor Yuri’s notice, but neither one remarked on it as Victor stepped back, and Yuri shuffled forward. 

“This way.” _That’s going to be as welcoming as they were gonna get, Victor._ He looked back to catch Victor’s face, but instead of the frown he was expecting from his lack of courtesy, he found a smile on his face instead. He blushed and dropped his head as he looked down towards his feet and led them into the six-mat tatami room. They situated themselves around the hearth in the middle of the room where a servant dished out warm tea. The ceramic cup heated Yuri’s hands, which he hadn’t realized were stiff with the cold until he held the porcelain.

Victor sat down next his mate, thanking the servant as he was passed a cup. He was the only one who verbally thanked them. Christophe had given them a small appreciative nod, while Jean-Jacques and his mate made no effort to acknowledge them whatsoever. Jean-Jacques had pointedly refused to take the offered cup. Instead, his mate received it for him before passing it to the alpha. It was stupid expectations of mates like that that had made Yuri wait the three long, miserable years for Victor. Victor would never expect such a display and would hate it. He knew that others spoke of Victor’s blatant disregard for class and place within the social hierarchy, but Victor didn’t give a damn, and Yuri loved that about him. He shot the alpha a smile before sipping the beverage in his hands. He could feel Victor’s body heat radiating off of him. It was pleasant. 

“So, Victor, you’re a mated man, now?” Christophe said, his voice breaking through the comfortable silence. 

“Yes, indeed. Thank you so much for coming all this way. It’s an honor to be able to host you and you as well, Jean-Jacques.” Christophe gave another nod and waved one of the servants over. 

“Do you have anything a touch stronger? Warmed, please?” 

“Breaking into the liquor already, Christophe?” Jean-Jacques frowned. There was clearly some judgment on Jean-Jacques’ part in regards to Christophe’s drinking habits, but at this rate, Yuri was going to need a drink to help himself get through the evening.

“I’ll have some as well.” He mentioned to the passing servant. Victor frowned but didn’t object. Gods knew how Victor was going to get through this exchange sober. The liquor arrived, and soon Yuri felt like he was sweltering under all his layers. They were heavy enough before, but the effects of the alcohol made him swelter in the fabric. Christophe, Jean-Jacques, and Victor talked local politics: about the increase in bandits on the mountain passages, the new lord who lived a day’s ride east of their estate, and how popular the court in Heian-kyō was growing.

“Really, it’s amazing you haven’t been yet. Most of the nobles are relocating to the area,” Christophe slurred. His eyes gleamed as he leaned forward towards Victor. Yuri leaned back to avoid him.

“Well, as it’s my duty to ensure the safety of the villages nearby, I have no intention on relocating.” 

“You have it so lucky, Victor. There’s hardly any crime out here,” Jean-Jacques mused. His mate hummed in agreement. He had pulled her right into his side just after they situated themselves and hadn’t let go of her yet. The omega didn’t seem to mind it, however, which disgusted Yuri. 

“That would be all the effort I put in to making sure everyone is safe.” Victor cracked after the first bottle was finished off and began sipping shochu with his guests. His words were coming out much more honest and blunt than they previously had been. 

“You certainly do keep an excellent job keeping everyone safe. Including your servants, it seems. That beta seemed to be particularly well cared for, an alpha escort for a mere servant.” Jean-Jacques took a sip from his cup watching Yuri’s face as it contorted angrily. He had drunk too much to be anything less than honest, especially with his easily read facial expressions. Victor struggled to do the same but managed to keep it under control as he had only just started drinking.

“An unmated beta in your retinue, Lord Yuri. I’m shocked. How have you managed to avoid a scandal?” Jean-Jacques pushed. Yuri stood up. 

“Excuse me.” He needed to relieve himself, but he was also going to lose it if he didn’t leave immediately to calm down. The air in the hallways was much cooler and felt wonderful on his flushed skin. He didn’t really want to walk all the way to the outhouse. It felt extremely cold when he made it to the outer hallways. He forced himself out onto the deck anyways. His teeth chattered, and he shivered violently despite his twelve layers and just having come from a well-heated room. There was a voice he recognized as he stepped off the edge towards the path to the outhouse. It was coming closer very quickly. Yuri ducked underneath the deck, crouching down and thankful for the first time for being so small. There was a light foot followed by a much heavier one. 

“Yuuri, you can’t keep avoiding this –”

“What do you want me to say? I feel guilty for you being here because apparently I’m not capable of taking care of myself, and I feel guilty because I don’t know what to tell you –”

“Have you considered it at all?” Phichit’s voice was hoarse, and Yuri could feel the wood over his head shift as Phichit moved closer to Yuuri. Yuri clamped a hand over his mouth as Yuuri’s scent spiked. He was anxious. 

“I – I don’t know. I really – I’m –”

“Is everything all right over here?” Yuri tried to tamp down his scent as the wind gusted, tugging at his kimono. Jean-Jacques addressed the two above Yuri’s head.

“Everything’s all right. Right, Phichit?” Yuuri’s soothing beta smell was so strong, it even relaxed Yuri beneath him. 

“We’re sorry if we disturbed you –” Phichit started.

“No, we weren’t disturbed. My mate here was looking for the outhouse. You haven’t happened to see Yuri come this way? Victor was asking after him.” 

“No, we haven’t, but if we see him, we’ll check and make certain everything is all right. The outhouse will be down through that path. If you’ll excuse us.” Yuri looked up and watched through the slits as Phichit wrapped an arm around Yuuri and walked them away. He thought he caught Jean-Jacques’ eye but wasn’t quite sure. He didn’t want to be caught down here.

“Go on, my heart, I’ll watch from here.” She stepped off carefully and wandered through the garden towards the small wooden building. Yuri cursed silently. He really needed to go, but if he moved from where he was then he would be found out, and it wasn’t like he could relieve himself here. 

“You can come on out, Yuri. I’m sure I’m not the only one who caught the tail end of that wonderful exchange, but maybe you caught more of it?” 

“Shit.” Yuri crouched down as he exited and felt Jean-Jacques’ hand on the back of his neck. An uncomfortable chill stole down his spine.

“You have one of the most lovely necks I’ve ever seen. Too bad it’s marred with that mate mark.” Yuri hissed and moved from underneath the alpha’s hand. 

“Your omega isn’t that bad either, in fact, his scent is quite appetizing. He would make for a wonderful addition at home. He’s kind, polite, submissive.” Yuri could feel his anger threatening to overflow. 

“He’s not an omega, and he will never be yours,” Yuri gritted out.

“So he’s really a beta?” Jean-Jacques looked off in the direction that Yuuri had left in.

“Yes,” Yuri answered with an irritated snap of his jaw. 

“Well, what a waste. I have no intentions on taking in a beta.” His mate walked back from the outhouse, smiling pleasantly. Did she understand what kind of person her alpha was? He helped her back onto the deck.

“I’ll tell Victor you’ll be along shortly,” he announced, directing him and his omega back to the room. Yuri didn’t reply, huffing off in the direction of the outhouse, trying to control his rage from stinking up the cramped room but couldn’t quite rid himself of the desire to punch the stupid alpha in the face.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Victor POV

“We’ll be in luck if we don’t get any snow before we leave. Why does your damn village have to be so high up in the mountains, huh?” Christophe mumbled into his teacup. The room felt much more relaxed with Jean-Jacques and his omega out of the room, but he was slightly concerned with how long Yuri was taking.

“Well, I certainly hope you’re right. I’m not particularly looking forward to winter this year.” Christophe’s eyes sparkled.

“Oh no? You don’t want to cozy up to your new omega and fuck him in front of the fire?” Christophe was no less vulgar than usual, but at least he wasn’t an ass. 

“Does my omega seem the type for grand romantic gestures?” Victor countered.

“You’ve got a point. Why _did_ you pick the thorniest one in the bunch?” Christophe chugged the remaining liquid in his cup.

“Because he picked me.” 

“Well, that’s kind of shitty.” 

“No, no. Not like that. He didn’t pick _Lord Victor_ , protector of three decently sized villages and third cousin to the emperor’s latest wife. It wasn’t the money or prestige for him that made him want me. He wanted _me_.” Christophe poured the remaining liquid from the teakettle into his cup, swirling the golden liquid.

“I suppose that makes sense. Frankly, I’d like an omega more like the one that’s watching your Yuri. He’s much more my type.” The blond alpha smacked his lips missing Victor’s dangerous look.

“Not an omega, surprisingly. He’s a beta.” 

“You don’t say?” Christophe didn’t look up. Victor waited for it. 

“Still, he’s unmated though. I take it that alpha guarding his chastity has tossed his hand into the ring for the right to claim him. Wonder why he hasn’t bitten yet.” Jade eyes cast a knowing glance up to Victor’s still face. 

“You planning on adding another to your harem?” The shoji slammed open.

“I don’t think that’s any of your damn business,” Yuri snapped; he glanced over to Jean-Jacques’ empty seat.

“He’s not back yet?” Yuri frowned and then went pale.

He dashed right back out of the room, and Victor immediately followed him. Christophe didn’t waste any time in falling into step with Victor.

“Already going in for the kill, I see?” Christophe said to no one in particular. Victor could feel his taut nerves readying him to snap necks, but when they stopped outside of Yuuri’s room, Phichit was the only one in the hallway with a sullen look on his face. 

“Phichit, is everything all right?” The alpha looked confused and terrified to see three haggard people crowding the hallway. Yuuri’s door slid open, and a big brown eye fixed on Victor before moving to Yuri. 

“Yuri,” the beta whined. Yuri didn’t hesitate to shove Phichit out of the way, pushing himself into the room and slamming the door shut behind him.

“Well then, I guess we aren’t wanted,” Christophe said, scratching the front of his chest. 

“Come then, Phichit, let’s have some drinks!” Christopher wrapped an arm around both Phichit and Victor’s necks dragging them back to the room they had previously occupied and summoned a servant for more alcohol. Jean-Jacques and his mate were waiting in the room upon their return, and both seemed confused by Phichit’s sudden inclusion to their meeting.

“Well, my mate is tired and needs some rest, so I should probably show her back to her room.” Jean-Jacques tucked a loose hair behind her ear that had fallen from the half knot on the top of her head. The rest of her inky black hair fell in a long curtain straight down her back. 

“We can have someone show her to her room. Stay and drink with us JJ! We never see each other,” Christophe tried to convince the alpha as he shoved a wooden box of freshly opened sake towards the man. 

“Please do not refer to me as such in our present company, and I would prefer to ensure her safety myself. Excuse me.” Jean-Jacques’ arm hovered protectively close to his mate for the entire time they were in sight of the room. Victor shut the door after they were out of sight to prevent the chill from creeping into the warm room. He sank down in his previously vacated spot and swiped the unused box from Chris and passed it to Phichit.

“Drink up,” the alpha ordered. Phichit complied, knocking back what remained in the small wooden box, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as Christophe refilled it.

“Oh, thank you kindly, my lord, but –”

“No buts! And no need to “my lord” me. Christophe, please. And when we’re drinking Chris. Unless I take you back to my room, and then it’s darling.” Chris winked at alpha, and Victor tried to stifle his laugh as Phichit flushed with confusion.

“I don’t know how well that would work, Christophe, but still, I’m afraid I can’t hold my drink as well as others –”

“Come, come Phichit. Drink up! We have plenty of servants to take care of us, and you’ve got yourself a beta to help you, no?” At the mention of the beta, Phichit frowned.

“Has he spoken to you about anything?” Phichit leaned toward Victor. He didn’t lie. The alcohol was hitting him fast. Victor reminded himself that he was in a room with two other alphas who were drinking and that they didn’t need to get riled up.

“Nope. I don’t know a damn thing.” Phichit’s shoulders sagged with relief. 

“Good. I’ve still got a chance then,” he slurred.

“Aww, I thought you liked me.” Chris wrapped his arms around Phichit, pulling the alpha backwards. Jean-Jacques slid the door open; his lip curled. 

“I see Chris has already managed to lose his inhibitions, again.” Chris ignored Phichit’s flailing arms and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“And what’s so wrong with losing them? They’re such a pain to keep track of in the first place.” Christophe whispered something to Phichit that Victor was certain was too salacious for the people in the room given how quickly the alpha blushed. A small whine for help poured from his throat. Jean-Jacques smacked the blond alpha upside his head allowing for Phichit to scramble to freedom. Victor felt a sense of victory as Phichit hid behind him. 

“You didn’t have to hit me that hard.” Christophe rubbed the spot on the back of his head.

“It’s nice to see you relax a bit, JJ, but if you’d refrain from hitting my guests, I would appreciate it. Also, Chris, please refrain from attacking Phichit. He’s a guest as well. I’m certain there are any number of people here that wouldn’t say no to an evening with you, but please respect his boundries.” 

“I told you not to call me that in our present company,” JJ snapped.

“Oh lighten up, JJ, you sound like an old geezer,” Chris quipped back. “And I won’t antagonize Phichit any further. Can’t anyone here take a joke?”

“Yes, yes, Chris, we know. We’re unfunny.” The blond alpha pouted but didn’t argue back. JJ eyed Phichit warily. 

“So, are you prepared for the weather? I guarantee we’re going to be snowed in by nightfall.” JJ managed to sound completely calm at the prospect of the snow storm.

“Snowed in? It’s a bit early in the season for so heavy a snowfall. We might get a dusting tomorrow, but I don’t anticipate anything more than that.” Victor couldn’t help but think of Minako’s words despite his nonchalant reply.

“Whatever. I’d go ahead and prepare for the worst if I were you.” Victor decided it would be best to err on the side of caution and follow Jean-Jacques’ advice. He called for a servant, and shortly after, small enthusiastic beta entered the room. He smelled warm and comforting causing Victor’s thoughts to tell him that meant something important, but he couldn’t figure out what it was. 

“Minami, can we make sure we have enough wood prepared in case we’re snowed in overnight? Check also to make sure we have enough food.” 

“Of course, my lord!” Victor watched as Phichit’s drunk head wobbled when he tried to look up at the beta.

“Why are there two of you?” Phichit directed the question at Minami who stared confusedly at the drunk alpha, looking to Victor for help.

“It’s all right. Please come back and let me know when you’re finished. I expect we’ll be needing you again.” Minami nodded as Victor watched Phichit. He almost smiled when Chris swapped Phichit’s sake box for a cup of tea. Phichit knocked back the burning liquid, clearly unable to feel his tastebuds anymore. Poor man. He leveled Victor with another look.

“Wha’s with all the cute onesss‘ve go’here? How d’ya do’t?” 

“Good god, man!” JJ exclaimed as Phichit’s cup sloshed over when he swung his arm out towards Victor. At the sentence, Phichit turned around pointed said cup at JJ.

“An’ wha’the hell is your deal? Why you gotta stick up your ass? Can’ ya like…” he trailed off staring at the blank wall. JJ looked ruffled by the half-completed insult. Phichit looked over at Chris and smiled. Chris returned the smile as if sensing that his moment of glory had come.

“You know ‘oo’s pretty, Chris? I like you. I like you, Chris,” Phichit stammered, leaning over to the alpha and letting his head drop on Christophe’s shoulder. He sent a smug look to Victor.

“Chris, have – have you seen Yuuri? Na-not Victor’s mate –” Phichit interrupted himself with a hiccup. “No, the other one. The pretty one, no offenss Victor, but Yuuri is so sweet and soft. He’s always been sweet. I ‘member this one time when we’re kids, and he fell asleep on my arm. Bes’ day of my LIFE! M’arm fell asleep, but he was so cute. So cute.” Phichit swung the cup around, smiling widely to himself. Chris humored the poor drunk. Everyone’s eyes were glued to Phichit as he continued speaking of the brown-eyed beta.

“I wishhh I’dneverleft. I wannaed ta be his mate righ’ affer I presenned, you know?” He looked up at Chris seriously. The atmosphere in the room had changed, and Victor was slowly sobering up as the charged feel of the room increased with each word Phichit said. 

“I was so worried that ‘ee’d pass away ‘fore I gotta chance to asssk him, you know? They’ll said he wass’t s’posed to live past childhood, and it broke my heart.” It became increasingly uncomfortable, especially when two trails of tears began running down Phichit’s cheeks. The door opened to the room just as Phichit was about to launch into another detailed story. Victor smiled at the pink-cheeked Minami and beckoned him over. 

“Minami, please help Phichit get back to his room. His room, not Yuuri’s.” Minami shot Victor a desperate look but gave in when he realized that he wasn’t going to be able to get any help or sympathy. He reached down to pull up the alpha, supporting him by dragging one arm over his shoulder and wrapping the other around the top of Phichit’s back. 

“C’mon, Phichit.” Phichit seemed to realize too late that he was being helped and scrunched his face in protest. He took one look at the beta and blushed. 

“You’re the cute one.” Minami flushed but didn’t respond. After Phichit was carried out, JJ finally sipped at the liquor that had been shoved into his hand earlier. 

“Oh, so you’re finally joining us in our fun?” Chris’ voice was sickly sweet, but JJ didn’t rise to the jab. The room was silent. Victor’s thoughts drifted to his mate and the beta. The sweet beta that had looked the alpha in the eye. 

It was only for a split second, but Victor hadn’t missed that big, beautiful brown eye. He also hadn’t missed the red rim around it and how bloodshot it’d been. Yuuri had been crying evidently, and the first person he wanted to comfort him was his Lord Yuri. The lines had become excessively blurred between the two. Victor knew with absolute certainty that his mate had feelings for the beta, especially with the decisiveness he had cut through the space, pushing Phichit out of his way. He also didn’t question the beta’s feelings for Yuri. Of course, the question now would be would they act upon them, and if they did, would Victor be included? 

“You planning on getting a mate for yourself anytime soon, Christophe?” Chris rolled his eyes at JJ’s question. 

“And why would I do that when I can sow my oats wherever I please now? I’d much rather have a selection to choose from.” 

“So you wouldn’t pick that unmated omega Victor’s hiding?” A low angry growl rumbled through Victor’s chest towards JJ. 

“Yuuri is a beta, and his status is none of your concern as he currently wishes to remain in service to his lord.” 

“Yes, I’m sure he does have quite a lot of _duties_ to fill. Tell me, Victor, are you so unable to satisfy your mate that he has to turn to a weak-willed peasant beta in order to get what he needs? He would have been much better off coming to me. I did send a letter to his grandmother suggesting the idea. Apparently, she wasn’t keen because I already had my sweetheart here. Although, I’m certainly more than capable of satisfying two.” Victor’s alpha scent exploded in the small heated room. Chris looked warily between the two alphas, clearly uneasy and desperate to avoid the coming fight. He eyed the door, silently begging for it to open. JJ struggled to keep the smug look on his face, but Victor’s scent was more powerful and could easily force the weaker alpha into submission. A snarl ripped from Victor’s lips as he stood up. His size seemed much larger due to his heavy scent. 

“Unbelievable. I’m gone for maybe an hour, and you two are already at each other’s throats?” Yuri placed a hand on Victor’s forearm, tugging the alpha to face him. The half-annoyed look slipped from Yuri’s face as he got a good look at his alpha. 

“Excuse us, gentleman,” Yuri demanded absently, reaching up and stroking Victor’s cheek. Angry sounds were still pouring from his mouth, and Chris didn’t need to be told twice before he bolted from the room. Victor watched as his mate kept his eyes on him and only him. It was deeply satisfying when Yuri continued the direct eye contact with a repeat of his command for JJ.

“My lord Jean-Jacques, please excuse our discourtesy, but give us a moment. The servants are preparing our feast anyways, and it should be ready shortly. You’ll want to collect your mate.” The mention of JJ’s mate seemed to do the trick for nudging the reluctant alpha from the room, unhappy to be walking away from the fight. Victor didn’t wait to check and see if they were completely alone before his hands fisted the blond hair on the back of Yuri’s head tightly as well as the shoulder of his kimono. Victor could see his mate’s scent gland still slightly tinged purple from his previous bite over a week ago and the fading straight lines beneath it that showed the world he was Victor’s. He wished he could still see the teeth marks. Yuri let himself go limp at Victor’s aggressive touch, and it was that which caused Victor to pull himself out of his head. He eased the hands until they weren’t so tightly holding onto his prize. Victor apologetically rubbed Yuri’s head from where he had gripped his hair and trailed his fingers up to Yuri’s scent gland, brushing across it and bringing the digits to his face. His smell was so overwhelmingly masculine, and Victor loved it. Whereas Yuuri’s scent was light, almost androgynous whenever he caught a whiff, Yuri smelled of things more rugged, smells that the alpha knew the omega had never come into contact with before but fit him all the same. 

Yuri’s face made his heart sink. The omega watched him suspiciously, as if he had done something worthy of such distrust. There seemed to be no light in his eyes, and Victor felt that everything was rapidly moving towards his worst possible nightmare becoming a reality. Victor’s head dropped down, rubbing their foreheads against one another and smashing their noses together. He wanted to ask; he needed to know so badly that Yuri was trying, too, that it wasn’t just him, but he was too scared to hear that he was right, that Yuri didn’t care. 

Yuri surprised him by pulling back and nipping the tip of Victor’s nose.

“What the hell?!” Victor went to snap his head back, but Yuri’s hand had slipped around his neck, holding the taller man still as he pressed a gentle, soft kiss right where he had done the damage. 

“C’mon. We shouldn’t keep them waiting.” Victor felt dazed as he let himself be led from the room by his mate’s little hand. 

To say the feast the servants had prepared in honor of their guests was extravagant was an understatement. Victor couldn’t help the swell of pride knowing that he had competent and loyal people who were able to show off the fact his good stores of food to the other alphas. Christophe was amazed at the splendor and vocally appreciative of the various offerings of soup, fresh fish, mountain vegetables, and heaps of rice. Jean-Jacques didn’t say much, and neither did his mate, but their eyes did light up when they were offered a choice for their dessert and tea. Jean-Jacques selected the clear jelly-like substance, taking the pick and popping each into his mouth slowly. His mate chose the tiny rice dumplings that had been grilled on a stick and covered in a light sauce. 

Across the room at a separate table from the rest of the servants, Phichit and Yuuri sat with the other lord’s attendants, none of them engaging Phichit or Yuuri while they ate. Victor’s eyes honed in on Yuuri. Phichit had somehow managed to sober up enough to make it to dinner, but he hadn’t spoken a single word to Yuuri whose eyes were swollen. Victor turned to his mate who was also watching the beta’s every move. 

“Is he all right?” Yuri’s eyes didn’t lift from the beta who for the first time since Phichit’s arrival shoved a nearly full tray of food away from him and got up from the table. Victor watched as his mate tensed. 

“He said he was fine earlier.” The frown set in Yuri’s face didn’t help Victor’s nerves. He looked up when he felt like he had been touched on the cheek. His hand half lifted to his face as he met Yuuri’s brown eyes. Victor couldn’t help but smile at him and felt a pang of guilt when Yuuri visibly startled at the gesture and slipped out of the hall. 

“Maybe don’t go scaring him off, Victor,” Yuri grumbled, popping a bite of food into his mouth. 

“How can I scare him when I’ve hardly spoken with him? Why is he so nervous around me?” Victor lowered his voice. “Did you say something to him?” Bright green orbs pierced him with an angry flash. 

“And what would I have said?” Victor didn’t respond. It wasn’t the time to be discussing this, especially since Christophe seemed to be hanging onto their every word. Victor finished off his tea, and the food was cleared from in front of them. Chris called for more alcohol. Victor didn’t want to continue drinking, but at this point, he’d give anything for a moment alone, especially if it meant that he could drink the other alpha under the table. Jean-Jacques excused himself from the continued festivities and took his omega with him. Despite the incredible pain in the ass that he was, Victor couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy at the very obvious love the two shared. Yuri knocked back his drinks without making a face as Chris’ face grew ever more red. It would be hitting his omega soon. 

Unsurprisingly, Chris finally succumbed to the copious amounts of alcohol he had put away that day, leaning over the table and falling asleep without so much as a warning. Victor heaved a huge sigh of relief, instructing two servants to alert his attendant and help move him to his room. Yuri hadn’t said a word but slowly grew pinker while they waited for Chris to be moved. 

When they were the last two in the room, Victor stood up and offered his hand to the omega. Yuri stared at it as if it would do something other than provide the simple gesture to help the omega rise to his feet. Yuri stumbled after accepting Victor’s hand, having sat on his legs for several hours and from the alcohol working its way through his system. Victor’s arm looped around Yuri’s small waist and pulled him flush against him. He enjoyed the small gasp Yuri let out and brought their faces together. 

“Can I kiss you?” Victor asked, reading the confusion on Yuri’s brow. 

“Why are you asking? You can have whatever you want from me.” The implication was unpleasant, but Victor plowed through Yuri’s negative thoughts.

“Because you should be willing. I only want it if you want it and will give it to me freely.” One of the corners of Yuri’s mouth twitched as he tried to keep himself from smiling. Yuri put his hands on Victor’s shoulders before his arms slid around his neck. 

“Why do you want to?” The omega teased. Victor surprised him again by answering truthfully. 

“Because you’re beautiful, and you’re my mate, and I want you to love me, and because you have the softest, sweetest lips I have ever tasted.” Victor didn’t move as tears filled Yuri’s eyes. Then, he started to pull away, thinking that he had overdone it when Yuri pulled him in, pressing their mouths together urgently. Yuri licked the seam of Victor’s mouth, but Victor didn’t open. He moved a hand to cup the omega’s face and felt him freeze. Victor opened his mouth gave him another kiss and smiled when he could feel Yuri relax. Victor pulled away after a few more soft kisses, pressing one against his cheek before pulling his mate into a tight embrace. After a moment, Yuri pulled away to better look up at Victor.

“So, you really want me to fall in love with you and you with me?” He looked down at their chests. Victor brushed his knuckles over Yuri’s pale cheek, pressing another kiss where his fingers had just passed over his skin. 

“I do, yes.” Yuri’s eyes lit up, glowing with a happiness that Victor wasn’t sure that he would ever have been able to give the omega. It was infectious. They walked back to Victor’s room in a comfortable silence. The hallways smelled heavily of fresh flowers. Yuri paused by one of the opened doors, the likely source of the smell.

“Ah, it looks like it’s starting to snow.” Victor felt himself shiver. Minako’s words came back once again to haunt him before he shoved the thought from his mind and pulled his mate close, directing them to his room.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Multiple POV
> 
> Please note there is mild violence in this chapter if that is something you find upsetting or triggering.

Yuuri woke up achy and hot. He groaned as he turned over, throwing off the covers. He was covered in a layer of sweat, and his scent was so strong that he was nauseated by the smell of it. It was sickly sweet. His first thought was that this was obviously a fever from some illness he had succumbed to overnight. 

Yuuri wasn’t quite sure what it was, but he had felt himself growing more and more irritable yesterday until he finally snapped at Phichit, kicking the alpha out of the room. He remembered that shortly after he had heard people in the hallway and peeked out to see who had shown up. For a single moment, his eyes met Victor’s, and he remembered how comforted he felt in his arms the first time Phichit had come to the estate. Instinctively, he wanted that comfort again, but he knew that would anger Yuri. His eyes moved from alpha to omega, and a knot released in his stomach when he locked eyes with his lord and called out to him. Yuri had lavished him with comforting words, cuddling the beta and soothing his irritation. It was the only thing that remotely eased the horrible feeling growing inside him. It had been building up over the last few days and was ready to burst. It had only been when Yuuri shoved his face into his lord’s neck that Yuri had excused himself. Yuuri knew it was his fault. He should have known that Yuri scenting him before didn’t mean the same thing to him as it did to his lord. Thinking about it made him tremble. He needed Minako. Yuuri slid the door open slowly and called for Phichit.

Phichit stumbled up to the door, eyes wide and mouth dropping. Yuuri didn’t know why the alpha looked so stunned.

“Can you get Minako for me?” Phichit continued staring before stepping forward as if he was going to enter the room. 

“Please, can you get Minako?” Yuuri tried not to feel alarm at Phichit’s bizarre state. He drew out of whatever daze he was in and nodded absently. He seemed to understand that Yuuri needed something. 

“I know it’s my fault for skipping dinner and that’s made it worse, but can you hurry, please?” Yuuri’s request barely reached Phichit. He turned down the hall and walked away, trying to make sense of what he was experiencing.

Phichit’s ears were ringing. _The smell._ It was so overwhelming. His feet carried him away, but he wasn’t sure if he was going in the right direction. Who was Minako anyways? He recognized the door to the room he had stopped in front of. If he had had a clearer mind, then he would have paused and knocked or given a some kind of warning due to the sounds coming from the room, but as it was, Phichit was out of his mind. 

Phichit stared blankly into the room as Yuri moaned loudly, bouncing on Victor’s lap as Victor thrust into his omega. Victor caught the scent of the alpha and growled angrily at the invasion, but he stopped himself when he saw the look on Phichit’s face and caught the scent rolling off of him. Phichit was confused and smelled – _oh god_. 

“Phichit?” Victor grabbed a kimono from the floor to cover his mate from the alpha, twisting them around so Yuri was sitting up and behind him while Victor dressed quickly. 

“What’s happened?” Yuri didn’t seem to know what was going on and hadn’t noticed the sweet scent that stuck to Phichit. Victor wondered if maybe only alphas were heavily affected by it. The omega frowned at Victor’s rush to get dressed and seemed annoyed that Phichit hadn’t simply been kicked out or run off so they could resume their activities. 

“Is he okay?”

“Minako…”

“What?” Yuri glanced worriedly between the two alphas, trying to piece together what had happened. 

“He asked for Minako, but – ” Yuri didn’t hesitate to hastily wrap the kimono around him, not caring that it wasn’t properly tied or presentable before he dashed down the hall towards Yuuri’s room. 

“Come, Phichit.” The alpha followed him as they quickly made their way to Minako’s quarters. She met them at the door, clearly smelling them from down the hall. 

“Is it happening?” Her eyes widened, and she looked frantic as she stared at them. 

“Where is your mate? Does he know?” 

“He went to go check on Yuuri –” Minako’s face paled. 

“Why would you let him do that?” Victor frowned. Phichit was more lucid now due to his proximity to the beta priestess and lack of exposure to Yuuri’s scent. Minako cast a worried look over at Phichit. 

“We need to go. Now!” Minako ushered them into the hallway, and just when they rounded the corner, Minami ran up to Victor, his face pale.

“My lord! Your mate – he, his attendant – I don’t understand what’s happening, but –”

“Lord Victor, move!” Minako brushed him aside, and they all scurried after her. Yuuri’s smell had already reached far into the mansion. It would seep into the walls, furniture, everything. Victor could feel his mind clouding and turned back to Phichit and Minami. 

“Get the other alpha lords to the other side of the mansion. I want them as far away from here as possible.” Minami bowed and dashed off. Phichit eyed him reluctantly.

“I’m trusting you,” was all the smaller alpha said before following after Minami. Victor hurried to Yuuri’s room. The scent wasn’t the only thing he caught as he approached his mate’s quarters. There were a few angry voices. As he got closer, he could pick out one of the voices perfectly, and the rage that shook it made his mate mark burn. 

“HOW COULD YOU?!” Yuri shrieked, dragging Yuuri from the room. Minako tried to reach behind him and pull him off Yuuri who had fallen on the floor, but he knocked her off.

“Don’t touch me, beta. I’m not remotely done with you yet.” His words were ice cold, but she couldn’t refuse a direct order from her lord’s mate. She stood to the side, fists clenched and a deep anger written into her features. Yuri directed his anger back to his original target.

“I trusted you!” He grabbed Yuuri by the hair and dragged him down the hallway. “I took you into my home. I brought you with me. I thought you cared about me! ME! Instead, you were a lying, sneaky, traitorous omega!” Yuri flung him into one of the posts by the courtyard doors. 

“Who sent you here? Did Yakov know? Did you let him use you to worm your way into this house? I won’t let you have him! You can’t have Victor. He’s mine!” Yuri grabbed two handfuls of ebony hair and smacked Yuuri’s head against the post. He could smell Victor running down the hallway towards them and turned to look back at his alpha and hissed. 

Victor stopped. He was stunned by Yuri’s sudden display of complete and utter hatred for his attendant. Yuri slammed the shoji next to him and Yuuri wide open. A gust of bitterly cold wind pushed in some of the snow that had piled up to the edge of the patio. 

“You will walk out that door, and I will never see your face again.” Yuuri looked up helplessly at Yuri. He tentatively reached out a hand, but Yuri smacked it away. 

“Don’t touch me.” Tears slid down Yuuri’s face. 

“It was you, Yuri, you –”

“Don’t presume to call me by my name!” Yuri grabbed him by the arm and thrust him towards the door. “Get out! If you loved me half as much as you said you did, you would leave right now.” Victor watched in horror as Yuuri went limp in his mate’s grasp. His bright new omegan smell dampened by his visibly broken heart. Yuuri turned his brown eyes to Victor, and then up to Yuri’s face as more tears slid down his cheeks. He stood up on wobbly legs and turned and ran out the open door.

 _How could he have been so stupid?_ Yuuri’s bare feet hit the wood planks, and he slid as his foot made contact with a patch of ice. It was beyond freezing. Even in his state, he could feel the bitter cold. _God! How had he not known what was wrong with him?_ It made sense. _Of course, he was an omega._ He accepted it immediately. It felt right, completely and perfectly right, or rather, horribly wrong. It had ruined everything. Now the question was why had it taken him so long to present in the first place? How badly did Yuri hate him? He wished he had figured it out sooner, before Yuri had gotten there, so that he could have run out on his own. He would have given anything to avoid seeing the pain and betrayal that had flashed across Yuri’s face. His thoughts faded as his body started to fatigue. The snow was so cold it burned his skin, but he had to keep moving. Yuri didn’t want him there. He needed to get as far away as possible. 

The air hurt to breathe in. His legs continued to collapse beneath him so that he was half-crawling through the snow, palms bright red and scorched with the cold. He was shaking all over, and he didn’t know if that was because of his first heat or the cold. Every joint in his body ached. He pushed himself forward. Yuuri would crawl until he couldn’t move. 

A huge gust of wind sent sheets of snow straight into Yuuri’s face. He bent his head down to avoid it, but it just sent the snow under the collar of his kimono. His arms were quivering, and everything inside of him was breaking. He had disappointed Yuri. He had unwillingly betrayed him, his lord, the young man who had somehow managed to capture his heart against his own better judgment. Yuuri stopped fighting and fell into the snow. It coated him like a blanket, and he hoped that he would just sleep forever, forgetting every pain that ran through him now. 

He must have fallen asleep because the next thing he knew was warmth. Maybe it was heaven, if he was lucky. It smelled wonderful. Suddenly, the heat disappeared, and he felt himself convulsing with shivers.

“There, there. Stay with me, oh, please, Yuuri.” The warmth returned, and he had the feeling that he was moving. Yuuri felt the warmth trickle down his spine again and knew that was important, but he couldn’t quite remember why. His hands gripped at something, and Yuuri became aware that he was held tightly against someone’s chest. It was an alpha, and they smelled familiar. Alpha. The thought brought the tingling sensation back as his body started to warm up. He squirmed once he realized that his naked chest was pressed right against the alpha’s bare chest. Yuuri couldn’t help but take in the mouthwatering scent the alpha gave off. He wanted to smell like that. 

“Shh. We’re almost back. We’ll get you warmed up, and then we’ll try and figure out what to do to help you, okay?” It hit Yuuri like a bolt of lightning. He tensed in Victor’s arms and struggled against him. He couldn’t go back! He had hurt Yuri; Yuri had told him to leave. Yuuri needed to be far away from here. 

“Stop squirming.” Victor tried to readjust his grip on the omega, but Yuuri wasn’t having it. He needed to get away. He had gotten so far. Yuri would be disappointed and even more upset.

“Yuuri, stop moving and hold onto me.” Yuuri couldn’t fight against the command and wrapped his arms around Victor’s neck to provide the most comfort to the alpha and help to support his own weight. Victor stopped moving. Yuuri hadn’t even realized he had presented his neck to the alpha until Victor’s nose skimmed across the surface of his scent gland. 

“I know you aren’t thinking right now, but oh, you’re so tempting…” Victor trailed off, tightening his grip and readjusting the omega in his arms. 

“Lord Victor, if you insist on bringing me back, can you take me to Minako-sensei, please?” Victor didn’t reply. They somehow made it safely back to the mansion, and Yuuri couldn’t help but look at the worried faces waiting at the gate. There were quite a few servants and all of Lord Victor’s guests except for one very important person. Yuuri curled up tightly against the alpha’s chest, muffling his quiet sobs. Victor didn’t acknowledge any of the people at the front and walked straight in towards the back where Minako resided. She opened the door before he could juggle the omega in his arms to knock.

“There. Lay him down there.” Victor slowly let go of the omega, noticing the terrified look in Yuuri’s eyes as he opened his hands to reach up for the alpha but pulled them back, breaking their eye contact.

“My lord, if you wouldn’t mind, I need a few moments alone with Yuuri.” Victor stared down at the fragile omega. Yuuri had curled in on himself. The scent of his first heat was laced with despair.

“Lord Victor.” Minako’s voice was stern, which was dangerous given the situation. Victor wanted to bare his teeth and force the beta physician from the room. He yearned for the opportunity to lay Yuuri beneath him and fill him with nothing but thoughts of Victor, anything to pull him out of his head. Victor reached out to touch the omega, but Yuuri flinched and pulled away. It was enough to bring Victor back to his senses. He excused himself and returned to his bedroom where Yuri had bolted himself in shortly after Victor announced that he was going to retrieve Yuuri. 

Victor knocked, and Yuri didn’t answer. He sat outside his door, temper flaring. Part of him wanted to command his mate to open the door so they could talk, but he knew that if he forced Yuri to do anything now, it would damage their relationship beyond repair. 

There was a light shuffling on the other side of the door, and he could feel the wall shift when Yuri leaned against it. Victor sat like that for a while and waited until Yuri finally slid the door open. Yuri was crying and had been crying for some time given how red his nose and swollen eyes were. 

“Why did you choose him?” Yuri’s voice cracked, and Victor scrambled to get up, picking his mate up easily and carrying them to their bed. He held Yuri against his chest. 

“I didn’t choose him. I did what was best for you.” 

“But you left me to go get him!” A small fist thumped against his chest. 

“Yes, because I knew that you would be overwhelmed by guilt if anything had happened to him. You care for him so deeply, even if you’re hurting now.” Victor wiped off Yuri’s cheeks. He winced. Yuri’s skin was raw from the tears he shed. Victor placed a light kiss on each cheek just under his eyes. He watched the emotions bubble in Yuri’s face before he exploded into tears again. 

“How can he be an omega? Why is he presenting now? Why couldn’t he just be a beta? What if you decide you want to leave me for him? What if he leaves to go with Phichit now?” Yuri continued throwing out “what ifs” as he worked himself up more. 

“Shhh, Yura. Some of those things we can speak to Minako about, if she’s willing to give us an answer. It’s up to him if he wants those things to be shared. And I would never leave you.” Victor cradled Yuri’s face, planting a kiss on his forehead and pecking his lips before he continued. 

“As for the rest, it’s whatever he decides to do.” Yuri laid his head on Victor’s shoulder. His sobs had stopped, but Yuri’s tears continued to leak onto Victor’s shoulder, wetting the cloth there. 

“Is he okay?” It was spoken so low that Victor had to replay Yuri’s questions several times in his head before he understood what had been asked. 

“He’s in one piece somehow. I’m guessing that his heat provided him enough body warmth to prevent him from getting frostbite or any other damage,” Victor paused, unsure if he should be completely honest with his mate or withhold the extent of Yuuri’s suffering to protect Yuri’s fragile feelings. 

“If you’re feeling up to it, you should probably talk to him.” Yuri drew his feet into Victor’s lap, hiding against his chest.

“I don’t think I can.”

“Well, whenever you’re ready.” Yuri’s thoughts buzzed angrily in his head. He knew his overreaction had irreparably ruined his relationship with Yuuri. There wasn’t any way around it. He was overwhelmed with guilt, but he couldn’t quell his anger. Rationally, he knew it wasn’t Yuuri’s fault and that he had no control over the situation, but Yuri still felt betrayed. It hurt all the more when he thought about having finally talked with Victor about marking Yuuri the previous day. Yuuri had been very hesitant but only because he didn’t want to hurt Yuri’s feelings. It was apparent how much Yuuri cared for him, but the only thing Yuri could think of was himself and the threat that Yuuri presented as an omega. Yuri was glad he hadn’t told Victor that Yuuri had agreed to be marked. He knew the alpha would be mourning the loss of what could have been and maybe would have taken Yuuri to his bed regardless of Yuri’s feelings. 

There was a light tap at the door. Minami entered after gaining permission from Yuri and stood by the door staring down at his feet. Yuri felt another wave of guilt crash through him. His horrible reaction hadn’t just been witnessed by Victor and Yuuri but the servants, too. Everyone would think he was an awful, horrible person. Yuri whimpered and curled back into Victor’s chest. 

“My lord, Priestess Minako has requested your presence.” Yuri stood up and turned to follow Victor, but Minami awkwardly avoided eye contact with either of them as he spoke again.

“Apologies, my lords, but she requested specifically that only Lord Victor go.” Minami hung his head and took two steps back. Yuri swallowed as more tears pricked the corners of his eyes. Clearly, his crazy omegan rampage was not something that was going to be forgotten soon. Yuri nodded at Victor, not meeting his face. Victor leaned down and kissed his cheek.

“I’m going to be right back, okay?” Victor could still feel his mate’s pain as he walked further and further away from the room. He was a bit nervous, and even a little excited, about being called back so quickly to see Yuuri. 

When he entered Minako’s quarters and was greeted by two grim faces, his excitement plummeted and nerves shot up. 

“Yuuri has made his decision, Lord Victor, and he would like to offer you a choice.” The smallest hope in his chest rekindled at his words. 

“Very well, what is it that you would ask of me, Yuuri?” Victor gave him the warmest smile he could. Yuuri was surprisingly lucid for being at the beginning of his heat. Of course, it wouldn’t peak for another day or two, so that likely influenced his current state as well. 

“I would like it if you could see to it that I’m confined for the remainder of my heat, and if that is something you’re unwilling to give, then I would like it if you would let me leave the property in peace, without being followed.” The smile slid off Victor’s face faster than ice melted in the summer. 

“Do you understand what you’re asking for?” Victor asked. His voice sounded hollow to his own ears. He could only imagine how Yuri would react to this. 

“I’m very aware, but my decision is made. I humbly request that you respect my decision, and do what you feel is the most comfortable choice for you.” 

“Well, how can I pick anything that might contribute to your death?” Victor’s voice rose which made Minako flinch, but Yuuri sat perfectly still while he awaited his answer. 

“My lord?” Victor sighed, running a hand down his face. He was overcome with guilt. 

“You’ll let me prepare the space for you because I’m not sending you to a shack with no fire and nothing to keep you warm. I can have it ready in a few hours. I’ll have Minako bring you food which you must accept, even if you can’t eat it. You will stay here until it’s ready.” Yuuri nodded in agreement, and Victor couldn’t help but feel that he had just made the worst possible decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit note Aug. 16, 2017: 
> 
> As I've been going back through this and editing, I've thought a lot about this chapter. When I was taking a break, I thought about changing the events of this chapter because I wasn't truly prepared for the reactions from this scene nor the misunderstanding it's brought. It deeply saddens me that this has made people hate Yuri's character. 
> 
> Please know that I do **not** think what he did is in any way acceptable, but there is much more here that goes into this reaction than just "Yuri being mean." I think that's a rather reductive way of thinking and doesn't take into consideration all of Yuri's thoughts and feelings (some of which I haven't actually revealed yet because there is more at play here). 
> 
> Maybe it's just my world view, but I tend to be very forgiving of people, even if they make horrible mistakes, because I know that I'm certainly not perfect, and I can't expect other people to be. People can do horrible things and can react very badly, but I think it's a matter of is this a one time thing, or can I expect this to continue? Yuri is very young, privileged, and, most importantly, scared. He made a terrible mistake out of that fear. One that he regrets almost immediately when he calms down enough to understand the implications of his actions. He is not the sort of person who would continue to be violent and abusive which is maybe the concern some of you have had with this chapter. This is something that Yuri will grow from. It's the sort of thing that will make him realize who he is and the kind of person he wants to be and will shape him into a better one. My hope is that those of you who were shocked and upset and angered by him to the point of disliking him will give him the chance to redeem himself not only to Yuuri and Victor but also himself. 
> 
> In regards to the edits I've done here, I mostly left everything the same though some of Yuri's dialogue was removed to hopefully make it seem less harsh than it was previously in hopes that there can be better understanding of my intentions. I hope that this helps some of you feel better about the situation and Yuri's character.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy this amazing artwork done for my two favorite boys. It's Yuri napping in Yuuri's lap. Go take a look [here](http://claire1998.deviantart.com/art/Yuri-Lap-Nap-on-Yuuri-652101409) and thank you so much again, Claire! It's so beautiful.

“Thank you, my lord. Would you kindly call for Phichit? I need to speak to him, please.” Yuuri wasn’t surprised to see a glimpse of the same irrational anger that had painted Yuri’s face on Victor’s at the possible implications of calling in another alpha. Victor stepped closer to him.

“My lord Victor, I would ask that you remember everything that has happened today, and please take your next actions into consideration when you do so.” Minako stepped protectively in front of Yuuri as she spoke out. 

“You’re taking him as your mate?” Yuuri eyed the alpha in front of him. When had everything changed for him? He certainly felt a sense of obligation to Yuri still and would continue to refuse Victor, but he didn’t feel timid around the alpha any longer either. Victor seemed much more fragile than he had realized as he stared down at Yuuri. Yuuri finally felt something click when he recognized the look in his eyes as fear. Still, he wasn’t going to cow down. He had had enough of that. 

“I don’t really believe that is any of your concern, my lord. You’ve already expressed your thoughts regarding Phichit making me his mate, but as you are not my lord nor my alpha, I am free to make the decision that would be best for me.” Yuuri watched as Victor’s frame trembled. He could see it, Victor holding back from reaching out right then and there and claiming him. Yuuri pretended not to feel the lick of flame in his gut at the thought. There was certainly no way that would happen now. Minako took another step forward, and Victor turned on his heel and stormed out of the room. 

The beta priestess eyed Yuuri suspiciously. He knew she hoped for Phichit to mate him. She hadn’t made that a secret the numerous times they had spoken, but Yuuri knew that as much as he cared for the alpha, and truly he did, that Phichit wouldn’t ever be right for him. Phichit looked like he was trying to contain a smile when he entered Minako’s room. Yuuri dropped his head. He was about to make another person suffer today, and the guilt rocked through him.

“Yuuri?” Phichit sounded concerned. He’d have to remember that his smell would be much easier for alphas to discern now. Phichit had obviously smelled his guilt.

“I need to ask you for a favor but not for the one you want.” Phichit frowned but nodded for Yuuri to go ahead. The omega took a deep breath. He knew that whatever Minako had given him to temporarily dissipate the effects of his heat wouldn’t last for much longer, and he needed to get this out before it wore off. 

“I would appreciate it if you would accompany me back home after my heat is over. I don’t feel safe travelling by myself and would appreciate your company.” Yuuri caught Phichit’s eye and saw tears there. 

“So, Victor is…” Phichit started. Yuuri understood the question, but he didn’t respond. It was better that Phichit thought Victor was assisting him than if he knew that Yuuri was going to go through it alone. 

“So, if he’s going to…then why are you leaving? Won’t he just mate you?” Yuuri couldn’t help the small flinch at the thought. It hurt so much more knowing that he had been so close to having forever with Yuri, and a small part of him included Victor in that too, but it wasn’t his future anymore. 

“I won’t be mating him, and it will best for everyone if I leave as quickly as possible, but I’m in no condition to leave now.” He was starting to feel achy again. His brown eyes found Minako’s, and she already understood what was happening. 

“Thank you for coming, Phichit, but I’m afraid I’m going to need to speak to Yuuri privately to discuss some things regarding his health.” Phichit looked like he was going to reach out for Yuuri but seemed to think better of it. As soon as Phichit left, Yuuri doubled over. Everything was aching, and he could feel himself growing hot again. Minako came over and rubbed his back. 

“You know this is only the beginning, right? It’s only going to get worse.” Yuuri nodded in acknowledgment. His breath started to come in gasps. 

“Yuuri?” He couldn’t breathe. Try as he might to suck in a deep breath, he felt a spasm in his chest and went into a deep coughing fit. Minako stepped away and immediately began mixing something together. 

“This was the worst time for you to run out blindly into the snow. We won’t be able to tell if your fever is heat related or due to you becoming ill.” She passed him a powder that she mixed into a little water. He knocked it back. It was horribly bitter and left him gagging. 

“There’s one more dose of the suppressant in that, but I won’t be able to give you more or you’ll have major complications.” Yuuri waited for what felt like an hour for the heat and aches to subside but knew it had only been about fifteen minutes. The other suppressant was supposed to have been strong enough to last through the night, but he had burned it off in an hour. Hopefully, they would have the room ready soon. 

“Aren’t you going to ask?” Yuuri looked up at Minako. She had a guilty look on her face.

“What do you mean?” The medicine was making him drowsy, or maybe it was still a symptom of his heat. 

“He didn’t tell you?” Yuuri blinked at the beta. He felt like he had missed something important.

“Who tell me what?” Minako tried to hide her shock while Yuuri stared at her. He was exhausted from all his dealings that day and really just needed her to be forthcoming with the truth. 

“We’ve suspected, that is Lord Victor and myself, that you were an omega from the moment you arrived. He said something was off about your smell and had an odd feeling. I’d rather not explain that. It’s for him to share, but I agreed with him. Not that I needed to scent you. Everyone’s dynamic is reflected in their aura, and you have one of the purest omegan auras I’ve ever seen, but it was unsettling for someone at your age to have not presented yet. I had assumed you could have been one of those few who didn’t present until they met their mate. I didn’t think it was healthy for your body to go so long without experiencing a heat. I knew it would spell disaster for your first one. When I examined your medicine, I realized that the combinations there would have been strong enough for an alpha, let alone someone who thought they were a beta, but for an omega, it would have terrible consequences. It would drastically affect your health. I adjusted the combinations, and your health has improved remarkably because of it. Not including your stress-induced loss of appetite, however, but uhhh…” Minako trailed off once she finally lifted her head and caught sight of Yuuri’s face but not before she added one final thought.

“I really was trying to help, Yuuri. I’m so sorry.” They sat in silence for a while. Yuuri’s stomach churned as he mulled over everything Minako had said. Frankly, it wasn’t surprising and part of it was a relief that he had always been an omega but was just presenting late. Unfortunately, it didn’t help calm the tidal wave of anger that sloshed around his insides. Victor had suspected, and well, frankly many others had too. He couldn’t fault Victor’s curiosity, but that Minako had known but hadn’t said anything was the last thing he needed to hear. It was hard to believe that he woke up this morning thinking he was just sick, completely unaware of how quickly his life was going to change. 

Two hours later and the suppressants had worn off by the time the servant arrived to let them know that one of the small storage sheds had been cleared out and spruced up. Minako sent them on their way with instructions to make sure that everyone cleared out of the path and the rooms between Minako’s room and the shed. Once that had been taken care of, Yuuri leaned against Minako as the pair staggered to the room. It was tiny, but that would be what he needed when he was out of his mind for the next week. There was a small window on the back wall that looked out into the courtyard if he stood on his tiptoes, but given how much pain he was in from walking, Yuuri felt certain he wouldn’t be doing anything that required him to move for a while. 

The bedding in the room was fresh and held no scent which Yuuri was thankful for. He was sure they would need to burn them after this week was over anyways. Minako helped him lay down on the bedding and looked him over. She suspected that his chest issues would flare up overnight, so she told Yuuri that she planned to make him something to soothe his coughs and pain, and when he could find it in himself to sleep and eat, she would try to bring him light foods. The thought of eating was repulsive, and he hated how long Minako stayed to make certain he was well before leaving him. 

Yuuri was able to lock the door from the inside while Minako locked it from the outside for safe measure. As soon as the door was shut, and he was alone, Yuuri ripped off the kimono he was wearing. The fabric which normally felt so smooth and soft on his skin from it’s age was rough and almost painful. He balled the item up and threw it across the room. The bedding was incredibly soft, but he couldn’t help but feel itchy when he laid down on it. For it being the beginning of winter, Yuuri didn’t feel cold in the slightest despite being stark naked. Yuuri noticed an odd sensation like liquid was dripping down the inside of his thighs. He ran an absent hand where he thought the liquid was and was instantly shocked by how amazing it felt to touch his skin before he felt a slightly sticky substance between his fingers. 

He put his fingers up to his face watching the clear tendrils it formed when he pinched them together and then stretched them until the strands broke. Hesitantly, he put his fingers to his nose to smell them and was shocked by how strong the smell was. Yuuri recognized it instantly as his own scent but far more potent. It was slick which he shouldn’t be producing until the second day of his heat. It was that moment when Yuuri realized that his heat was going to be incredibly strong, probably the strongest he would ever have to endure, and he was going through it alone. That thought caused whatever dam he had built to hold back his emotions to break as his sobs echoed in the room. 

When he had his lucid moments, Yuuri remembered wondering why it was exactly that Yuri had screamed so much during his heats and that now he understood. He knew it would be agony, but frankly he hadn’t expected this. It was an ungodly combination of the worst sexual frustration he had ever experienced to the point it brought him immense pain with all the aches and pains that came with the worst fever one could experience combined with a deep unsettling loneliness. It was made all the more upsetting because try as he might, and lord did he try, Yuuri was incapable of getting himself off or shaking off the pain and loneliness.

Yuuri felt abandoned. Hopeless. Empty. Even seeing Minako’s face briefly over the course of the last several days hadn’t eased it. Whatever this feeling was had set its hooks deep into Yuuri, and it was frankly the worst part of the whole thing. He could handle the physical pain for days on end, but this? This was too much. Yuuri had only screamed a little bit on the second day before he remembered how much the servants complained at Yuri’s grandmother’s estate and found some cloth to ball up and shove into his mouth to stifle his cries. 

The loneliness steadily increased and the physical pains lessened as the week went on. By the sixth day, Yuuri felt relatively normal. The aches were becoming more mild. He had been hard off and on for days at this point, but it didn’t really register anymore. The loneliness, however, was unbearable. It was about time for Minako to bring him food, but he was startled by the shouting he heard nearby. It was the first time he had heard or seen anything other than Minako for days, and the second he heard the voice Yuuri felt his heart shatter. 

“Please! Minako, you have to let me see him. He hasn’t made any noise for days. All the trays you bring back haven’t touched. I just need to see that he’s okay.” Minako responded to him in a much softer voice evidently trying to keep Yuuri from hearing. He froze in the middle of his bedding. He felt vulnerable and frustrated by how easy it was for that person to make his heart race wildly in his chest just by hearing his voice. The sounds drew closer, and Yuuri scrambled to wrap himself in the bedding to hide his nakedness after he unlocked his side. Minako only actually came into the room once a day to make sure he wasn’t sick, but the other times she brought food, she would slip the tray in. It was the time she normally entered to check Yuuri’s chest, but he worried that she might bring her companion in with her. 

He shifted back as the door was slammed opened, and the small blond barreled past Minako to enter. Yuuri watched as his lord froze only having taken a step into the room. Their eyes were locked on each other, and Yuuri couldn’t help but notice that his lord looked oddly unkempt, as if he had gone several days himself without a shower or bath. Minako eyed the both of them, setting down the tray quietly as Yuri approached him. Yuuri drew back, catching the flash of hurt in his lord’s bright green eyes. Undeterred, Yuri stepped forward. He collapsed on his knees at the edge of Yuuri’s bedding. Yuuri scooted back to give himself more distance, but it didn’t help him whatsoever. Yuri’s smell was thick with grief, but there was a dulled note that seemed to grow the closer he got to Yuuri. 

“Lord Yuri, you can’t touch him. It will only make it worse for him later.” Yuri’s eyes filled with tears. 

“Can’t we have just a moment alone?” he begged. Yuuri was astonished to see him beg and felt his head spin and chest tighten. 

“No, my lord. No one is allowed to be alone with him right now. Your lordship included.” Yuuri watched in horror as Yuri leaned over and sobbed openly into the bedding. Minako gently eased him up and pulled him out of the room. Just before she shut the door, he caught a whiff of one familiar scent that set his blood on fire and had him shamelessly walking towards the door without care. The door effectively shut out the smell, but it didn’t stop the effect it had on his body. It also didn’t prevent him from hearing the accompanying voice.

“Yuri! What are you doing?” Yuuri heard apologies pour from his lord’s mouth to his mate. It was too much. Yuuri locked the door from the inside just as Minako tried to open it on her end. He heard her try it once more before locking the outside and leaving Yuuri to suffer through the final day. 

He didn’t open the door again and wasn’t surprised to hear a loud banging on the door at the end of the day. Yuuri already had on the kimono he had worn when entered the room on and unlocked the door for the alpha. Victor stormed in. 

“Outside.” Yuuri could hear that Victor was talking without breathing as he was overwhelmed by the smell. 

“Actually, I’d like to speak to you and Lord Yuri with Phichit, if that’s all right. My heat is over now.” Victor paled. He walked up to Yuuri and gently placed his hands on the sides of Yuuri’s face. There was something in those blue eyes that stilled Yuuri for a moment and made his confidence in his decision waver. He tilted Yuuri’s head and leaned forward to scent him. Maybe it was the aftereffects of his heat, but instead of freezing up, Yuuri melted a little. He heard a small gasp fall from Victor’s mouth, and the tip of Victor’s nose brushed his cheek as he pulled his face away from Yuuri’s neck. Yuuri could feel his heart pounding so hard in his chest that it hurt. Suddenly, Victor forcibly removed his hands and stepped back. Yuuri was instantly reminded of the powerful loneliness that had come to fill him over the course of the last week. 

“I’ll have Minako come look you over and bring you to a room while I fetch them. Stay here.” Yuuri felt himself shivering, maybe because the door was left open but more than likely due to the fact that he could still feel Victor’s hands on him. 

Minako came running quickly, her cheeks and nose tinged pink and breath coming in huffs. She silently looked him over but instinctively didn’t say anything. He was sure she could sense the nerves vibrating inside him. She led him to the room that they had all gathered in the last time Phichit had visited. He thanked her and entered. The three of them were sitting, waiting for the omega. They all had terribly serious looks on their faces. Yuri looked positively wretched. It was clear now that he hadn’t been out of his room for the last week. He looked unwell. Phichit didn’t look too much better. He stared angrily at Victor and Yuri, and there were deep dark circles painted under his eyes. Victor looked the best of the three but not by much. He looked exhausted but had taken better care to look presentable. Yuuri gave them all a deep bow before sitting down. He didn’t look up when he spoke. 

“I would like to be released from my contract and return home.” He was expecting an angry outburst, shouting, an outright refusal, anything but the stony silence. He couldn’t help himself; he looked up. Yuri looked like all life had fled from his eyes, and Victor looked more than a little concerned. 

“Is there anything that we can do to change your mind?” There was an edge to Victor’s voice. He could hear the panic rising. Yuri stopped him before Yuuri could reply.

“No,” he croaked. His voice was thick with unshed tears. 

“Katsuki Yuuri, I release you from your debt of servitude, and you have my humble blessings. Please be happy.” The last words were barely intelligible as Yuri stood up abruptly halfway through, attempting to cover his face and try and control his sobs. Victor didn’t follow immediately. He stared deeply into Yuuri’s eyes, searching for something. 

“Please, I beg you. Can’t you reconsider?” Yuuri dropped his head. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t stay here. Not like this. Not after everything that happened. Victor didn’t wait for his reply when it became clear that he wouldn’t reconsider and left to console his mate. Phichit scooted closer but kept more distance between them than he used to. The ache in Yuuri’s chest burned. He couldn’t blame the alpha. He couldn’t return his feelings, so he swallowed the bile the crept up his throat.

“I prepared your things over the week, and I can take you whenever you’re ready.” Yuuri looked up. Phichit looked like a haunted man. Yuuri would make sure this was the last thing he ever asked of him.

“Thank you. Would you be willing to leave now? It might be better that we aren’t here come nightfall.” Phichit looked like he was going to say no but changed his mind. 

“Let’s get going. We’ll want to try and make it to the closest village soon to get a room for tonight.” Yuuri nodded and stood up. He expected to feel lighter with the burden of his request off his chest, but he felt much heavier and couldn’t quite figure out why that was.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again. If you missed it last time [here is some cool fan art](http://claire1998.deviantart.com/art/Yuri-Lap-Nap-on-Yuuri-652101409) Claire did of my two favorite boys being super sweet.

They made it to the closest village after the sun had gone down. They would have made it there much sooner had it not been for Lord Victor who had sent a servant to deliver items and money to Yuuri as a sort of parting gift. Yuuri hadn’t wanted to accept them. It felt like a bribe, but after the light brown eyes of the servant who approached them filled with tears and mumbled something about Lord Victor insisting they accept to ensure the safety of their travels, Yuuri relented. Phichit’s face fell after Yuuri accepted the gifts. He had no doubt that the alpha suspected it was a gift for having shared his heat. They were able to make it to the nearby village that day due to the fact that the heavy snow from the week before had mostly melted off, though the dark grey clouds overhead seemed to suggest more was on the way.

The innkeeper grumbled at their late arrival but offered them a room nevertheless, especially once they caught sight of all the goods that Yuuri now possessed. He felt relieved of the burden of keeping the items as he offered the innkeeper and their mate some of the things Victor had given him that he knew he would never need. After that, they were much friendlier to Phichit and Yuuri, making sure to give them extra helpings of food and reheating the water for the bath. 

Yuuri was beginning to feel slightly uncomfortable by the drawn out silence between him and Phichit, but he wasn’t sure that it would be best to break it. The only thing Yuuri could think to talk about was the one conversation he didn’t want to have on the start of their journey. Thankfully, he was saved from trying to find something to say when they were informed that the water for the bath was ready. Phichit insisted that the omega go first. 

Yuuri sat in the wooden tub, grateful that the fire underneath had been stoked again. The short but thorough scrub down he had given himself before climbing into the tub had left him bitterly cold. It was almost impossible to imagine that he could be so cold given he spent the last week dripping in sweat and feeling like he would never know what cold again. 

The warm water in the tub soothed his frayed nerves. Between Phichit’s unusual silence, Victor’s pleading and subsequent bombardment of gifts, and Yuri’s tears, Yuuri felt shaken to his core. The more he thought about it, however, the more he felt like he had made the right decision. He knew that everything had changed with him presenting and that there would be no way he could go back to how it had been before. Some small part of him thought too that even if he had the opportunity to change everything to the way it used to be, he wouldn’t take it. 

Yuuri needed the change in environment. He also knew that he owed Yuri a huge debt. It was more than gracious that Yuri let him leave without repaying the amount Yuri had paid his parents for Yuuri’s service, even if, to a certain extent, he had served the purpose he was initially hired for. Yuri had acquired a companion who cared for him before he left his family estate to mate with Victor, and Yuuri had provided a buffer as he came to know the workings of Victor’s estate, well at least in theory, he had. The fact was that Yuuri knew his relationship with his lord hadn’t been as distant as it should have been. Somehow, things had gotten mixed between the two, and affection grew in that small space they shared. It should never have happened, and Yuuri knew that. Yuuri’s departure would only bring about good things for Lord Victor and Yuri’s future, even if his lord was hurt right now. His heart throbbed and ached when he thought of the two. He ignored the feeling and sank under the water to hide the tears that slipped out of the corner of his eyes. 

Phichit ran off to the bath once Yuuri returned. He felt his stomach drop when he looked into their room and saw that there was only one bed laid out. Yuuri slid the shoji screen open and looked down the hall for one of the innkeepers. Just when he had given up hope of catching one of them, he saw one at the end of the hall and flagged them down.

“Can we please get another futon?” The innkeeper’s eyebrows lifted in surprise, but they dashed off to fill the request. Yuuri helped them rearrange the bedding and climbed into the one the farthest away from the door with his back turned to it to feign sleep. He felt himself tense when the door slid open, but Phichit must have assumed he was asleep as he tiptoed to his own bed. Yuuri could hear Phichit pause as if he was checking to make sure Yuuri was really asleep before lying down. Just as the omega began to drift off to sleep, he could have sworn he heard the alpha make a noise of pain, but he couldn’t be sure and sank into an uneasy sleep. 

The next day was much more strenuous for the both of them. They had a lot of distance to cover, and even then, Yuuri knew that they wouldn’t make it to Hasetsu by sundown. It would probably take them much longer than it had taken Yuuri to get from Hasetsu to Yuri’s grandmother’s estate given that they were travelling by foot and carrying goods with them. The extra things made Yuuri nervous for bandits, not to mention he was an omega now. An unmated omega at his age would be worth a thing or two, a thought that make his breakfast churn in his stomach. 

“It’s all right.” It was the first thing the alpha had really said to him in days, and Phichit’s warm, comforting smell wrapped around the both of them. 

“Sorry,” Yuuri offered meekly. 

“Look, uhh –” Phichit began, pausing to find the right words. “Maybe it doesn’t mean much, but I’m looking out for you. I won’t let anything happen.” Yuuri didn’t quite know what to say, but he felt comforted by his friend’s words nonetheless. 

By midafternoon, Yuuri was exhausted. They had stopped by a few roadside inns for food and to take a break from their journey, but Yuuri wasn’t sure how much further he’d be able to make it in one day. 

“Yuuri?” The hesitant look that had been etched into Phichit’s features had lessened as the day wore on, and he had seemed to perk up a bit. 

“We can stop for the day if you need to rest,” Phichit offered. Yuuri pondered the suggestion for a moment, but he didn’t allow himself to consider the option fully.

“Thanks, but we really need to get going soon. I want to be there by tomorrow.” Phichit nodded swallowing the last of his tea. They would definitely be pushing it to be there by tomorrow. It would mean another day of sticking to the brutal pace that Yuuri had set for the both of them. 

They were both thankful, Phichit more so than Yuuri, when they finally stopped for the night at another inn. Yuuri could tell they were out of the mountains now. The air wasn’t as cold and crisp, and the gusts of wind didn’t bother him nearly as much now that they had mostly lost their bite. The innkeeper set out two beds for them without Yuuri having to ask, and both men fell asleep shortly after their dinner and bath.

Yuuri greatly underestimated his own endurance after Phichit begged him to stop for the fourth time the next day. He obliged the alpha’s request, sensing how far Phichit was pushing himself to keep up with Yuuri. If they kept up their pace, they’d be able to make it to Hasetsu just before sundown. Yuuri quickly ate the food in front of him, trying to finish up so they could leave. 

“Do you mind if we slow down a bit?” Yuuri had nearly bit into his rice ball but pull it away to look over at Phichit who was avoiding his eyes.

“Well, I wanted to get there today so that I wouldn’t continue to be a burden to you.” Yuuri’s eyes dropped to the wooden table.

“You haven’t ever been a burden to me, Yuuri. You’re my dearest friend.” Phichit reached across the table for Yuuri’s hand but stopped himself.

“I feel like I’ve taken advantage of your kindness, and I’m very sorry for continuing to be an imposition.” Yuuri shoved the rest of the rice ball into his mouth, and Phichit set down his chopsticks.

“We need to stop tonight, well, I need to stop tonight. We can get to Hasetsu in the morning. We need – we probably should talk. I know that we’ve both been avoiding it.” Yuuri swallowed the large mouthful. It was painful, but he knew that the alpha was right. 

“That’s fine, but can we stop in a few hours so that we can make it to Hasetsu before tomorrow afternoon?” Phichit agreed. Neither one said another word until they made it to the inn they wordlessly agreed upon. The innkeepers there were an elderly beta woman and her alpha son. The son eyed the two of them suspiciously but left them alone as his mother ushered them into one of their better rooms and brought food to them. If he hadn’t realized how close he was to home previously, Yuuri certainly did now. He recognized some of side dishes as being local favorites and could almost taste the salt in the air from the ocean and hear it rumbling in the distance. 

“Yuuri, tell me truthfully, is there no way after everything that’s happened that you can bring yourself to consider me?” Yuuri felt his stomach roil at the question. He was terrified of being honest because he knew what it would cost him. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. It was going to be the only way he could do this.

“I-I’m sorry, Phichit. I really am, but I can’t take a mate. Well – of course I _can_ , but I won’t. I care for you, and I’m sorry because I can only imagine how much it hurts for me to say this, but I can’t return your feelings. Not to mention, well, I know that my health was a big reason I said no before, and given everything that the physicians have told me, I assumed that I wouldn’t be around for much longer. Now, I’m not so sure, but I can’t guarantee that I would be able to be there for you and that’s so cruel –” Yuuri cut himself off when his tears began to flow openly down his face. He choked on air as he tried to swallow. 

There was much more to say. Phichit deserved a thousand apologies for all his kindness and for genuinely support for Yuuri, but it wasn’t enough. Yuuri didn’t feel the same. Maybe if it hadn’t been for one little blond omega who had come along and taken his heart before he knew he had given it things could have been different, but there was no way to know now. The thought of Yuri and his heartbroken face at their last meeting was enough to send Yuuri over the edge as he dissolved into sobs. 

Phichit didn’t reach out to comfort Yuuri, something that might have previously upset him, but he was thankful for the space. He calmed himself down and sucked in a deep breath. 

“More than anything, I want you to be happy, Phichit. I’m very sorry that I can’t be what you need me to be. If it was going to be anyone – well, that doesn’t matter.” Yuuri could hear the small stifled sounds of Phichit’s tears and felt sick to his stomach. He was surprised when Phichit shot him a question that was laced with anger.

“Why didn’t you smell like Victor, Yuuri? Even now, you’ve never smelled more like you. That shouldn’t be possible. Why did it have to be him anyways? Even if it wasn’t me, why him?” Yuuri’s felt something lurch in his chest. He could hear a ringing in his ears. He shrank back, dropping his head further and tilting it to the side in a show of submission before he stuttered out a response.

“I-I-It’s, well, w-what it is, it’s just, Victor offered, s-sort of. But, I didn’t.” Yuuri squeaked out the last sentence and given the flood of Phichit’s smell in the room, he was livid. Yuuri dropped down to the tatami mat, arms spread out in front of him in a full bow.

“Alone? You went through it alone?” Phichit’s voice cracked with pain. Yuuri tried to swallow, but there was a painful lump in his throat that prevented it. He hadn’t realized Phichit had come closer until he felt the alpha’s hands on his wrists pulling him off the floor. Their eyes met, and Yuuri flinched at the distraught look on Phichit’s face. 

“Why? Why would you make yourself suffer like that?” He had been expecting loud angry shouts, but instead Phichit questioned him in a small broken voice. Yuuri didn’t know if he expected an answer or not. The grip on his wrists tightened.

“Was it Lord Yuri? Did he forbid it? Was it a punishment?” Righteous anger filled Phichit’s dark grey eyes. Yuuri wasn’t quite sure how he did it, but he managed to release a relaxing scent into the room calming both him and his friend. 

“No. He didn’t know either. It was my choice and mine alone. I didn’t want to mate anyone, and I don’t like the idea of using someone to work through my heat. I won’t lie and say that I didn’t do it to punish myself. I felt guilty. I still feel guilty. It hurts to know how badly I betrayed Yuri, and maybe, some small part of me wanted to know his pain.” 

“Yuuri, how twisted is that?! You have nothing to feel guilty for. You’ve done nothing wrong. You don’t owe him anything after what he did to you.” Phichit still hadn’t let go of his wrists. 

“I know! I know it is, but it doesn’t change the fact that I still feel that way. I feel bad for him. I know why he clings to Lord Victor so much now, which is why I couldn’t stay. I felt that way before my heat, but afterwards, I knew for a fact that my presence would only complicate things. I’m still hurt by what he did, but it doesn’t change my feelings.” 

“Feelings?” Phichit’s hands fell. “You really have feelings for him.” Phichit stared at Yuuri dumbfounded. 

“And what about Lord Victor?” Yuuri squirmed at the question. This time he knew that his friend was going to need an answer. 

“Well, I don’t know him that well, but I wasn’t bothered by the idea of him. Lord Yuri had asked me if I would be okay with Lord Victor marking me for protection and well, I agreed.” Phichit sighed.

“Yuuri, did you – do you have feelings for Lord Victor, too?” Yuuri didn’t know how to respond to the direct question, but he found himself blurting out the truth.

“Not exactly. Kind of. It’s complicated.” 

“I see.” Phichit moved away from Yuuri, taking their bowls to be given to the innkeeper. The empty room was heavy with their words. Yuuri shivered at the realization that he had completely ruined his relationship with Phichit. He deserved it. He had taken his friend for granted. There was a small noise he barely recognized that he made but was silenced as a pair of warm arms wrapped around him. Yuuri froze before relaxing at Phichit’s scent.

“Shh. It’s all right. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, but it’s okay. I’m not going to abandon you. I’m hurt and frustrated with you, but I’m not going anywhere.” Yuuri turned around and wrapped his arms around Phichit sobbing into his chest. He felt overwhelmed with relief. 

“C’mon, go wash up so we can sleep and leave first thing in the morning.” Yuuri wiped his face off with the sleeve of his kimono and went to take a bath. Phichit wasn’t in the room when he returned, but their beds were ready for them, and Yuuri crawled into his letting his eyelids droop as he slid into an easy sleep.

The next day Phichit seemed normal. He hadn’t realized how tense the alpha had been until they were joking and laughing once again almost as if nothing had happened. Yuuri felt as if the burden he had been carrying had finally fallen off his shoulders, or at the very least lessened. He still hadn’t managed rein in all his thoughts regarding his lord. Well, Lord Yuri wasn’t his lord anymore. 

They reached the edge of the village just as Phichit and Yuuri were growing weary and hungry once more. The village seemed calm but not as busy as it normally was. Yuuri’s parents’ onsen was on the opposite side of the market, and once it was in sight, Yuuri’s heart soared. Mari was out front sweeping, glancing around for any potential customers when her eyes landed on Yuuri and Phichit. The broom in her hand fell with a clatter as she brought both hands up to her mouth, and tears filled her eyes. That was the only warning he got before she launched herself at her younger brother, wrapping her arms around his neck, weeping loudly. 

The sudden display of emotion startled Yuuri, and Phichit even sent a questioning look up at the omega. He had known Mari briefly when they were younger, but the alpha had never seen her react so openly to anything. A warm voice called out for Mari, sweeping the curtain in front of the shop to the side to look and see what was going on. Yuuri’s mother stared at the three of them like the sun had risen from the west. 

“Come in, come in!” She hustled them all inside the inn, shuffling them down the hallway into one of the unused banquet rooms. 

“Wait here, I need to get your father.” Phichit and Yuuri set their things down in one of the corners of the room while tears continued to stream down Mari’s face. Yuuri was surprised to see his father appear in the doorway showing more emotion than he had ever seen on his face in his life. He walked over to Yuuri and wrapped him in a tight embrace. Yuuri directed a look to his mother. He had no clue what was going on.

“Toshiya, that’s enough. Yuuri needs to explain himself.” Yuuri looked back at Phichit who shrugged before they all took a seat.

“Can I just ask what happened? I mean, I know it’s a surprise to see me, but I wasn’t expecting that reaction.” 

“We received a letter yesterday saying that you were no longer in Lord Yuri’s care and that we could expect you home soon. There wasn’t any explanation, and no demand for repayment so we – that is your father and I assumed that – well,” Hiroko stumbled over the last words unable to form them. The thought as to what had happened to Yuuri was apparent.

“You thought I had passed on.” There were curt nods from his mother and sister. His father just continued to stare.

“But what happened, Mari? I thought you were going to be mated? Where are they?” The initial lack of response was worrying, but it was Mari’s stiff voice that formed her reply that told Yuuri everything.

“He left.” 

“I see.” His mother leaned forward, wrapping a hand over Yuuri’s clenched fist. 

“Does your being here have to do with your presenting?” Yuuri felt himself jerk back as if she had slapped him. Phichit laid a hand on his shoulder to steady him. Then three pairs of Katsuki eyes went to Phichit.

“Wait, does this mean we have a new son-in-law?” his mother asked eagerly. Yuuri felt a familiar wave of guilt pass through him as Phichit squeezed his shoulder.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but no,” Phichit answered for him. 

“Ahh.” There was an awkward lapse in the conversation before Yuuri’s mother stood up.

“Tea!” She returned with earthenware mugs for each of them and filled them with freshly made tea. The cup felt wonderful as it heated his cold hands. 

“So, what happened?” Mari questioned. Yuuri knew he didn’t want to have this conversation just as he knew that it’s happening was inevitable. He took a sip of tea and a deep breath and told them everything that happened in detail from the moment he left the family home a couple of months prior.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Victor POV

“Are you ever going to come out of this room? It’s not healthy cooping yourself up like this all the time.” Yuri grumbled from the bedding. The smell was beginning to fade from the room, but neither of them commented on that fact. Victor could feel his patience slipping.

“Yuri, we have to talk. I don’t know what to do anymore. You’re miserable all the time because you let him go, and I just…I feel like we’ve never gotten the chance to really connect.” He stopped himself. They had done little else besides catch up on each other’s lives and sleep with each other since they mated, but it was beginning to feel more and more to Victor that they had missed a step somewhere. He stood next to his husband, hoping he could coax him from underneath the mound of fabric drenched in Yuuri’s scent. Victor almost couldn’t believe the omega was gone had it not been for the fact that Yuri hadn’t left Yuuri’s small room for over week. He had holed himself up in the room once he had found out Yuuri was going through his heat alone, and since then, nothing anyone said or did could pull him out, including Victor. The only time he had willing left was for the final meeting with Yuuri and Phichit. He felt like he should be angry, but mostly Victor was upset that he was so helpless and couldn’t comfort his mate in the way that he needed. He felt like a failure. 

Now, it was Yuri who was becoming sickly from his overwhelming, oppressive thoughts. The room smelled bitter with his depression. Realizing that he wasn’t going to be able to entice him out of the room for breakfast, he waved the servant in who dropped the tray of food nearby and scuttled back out quickly. There were whispers that Yuri was possessed by a vengeful spirit, and many didn’t want to come near him. He knelt down next to his mate’s form, peeling back the covers just enough to see his face. Yuri’s green eyes had lost their sparkle and were haloed by dark, puffy circles. His nose was red from all the tears he had shed, and his small lips were cracked from licking his salty tears. Victor pressed a soft kiss to them anyways, feeling the rough texture against his own. Yuri tried to deepen the kiss, like he did every time Victor showed him affection, but Victor wouldn’t let him. Yuri let out a broken whine and began crying anew. Victor smoothed his tangled hair, pressing another kiss to his forehead. If only he could console him better. 

“If you don’t want me just say so,” Yuri snapped with none of his usual venom. Victor wished he could find a way to make him understand his feelings.

“I do want you, Yura. We just can’t do that here. It’s not respectful.” Victor stepped back, carefully watching Yuri’s face as he said his next few words.

“I’m going to go riding with Chris today. Will you be all right?” Nothing. There was no change in his expression except maybe his eyes grew infinitesimally dimmer. He nodded and threw one of Yuuri’s kimono over his face. Yuri had managed to keep a couple of Yuuri’s things without Victor knowing, though he suspected Phichit had known and relented when he came to pack on Yuuri’s behalf. 

“I’ll be back in time for dinner. Can I join you tonight?” For the first time in over a week, Yuri willingly lifted the fabric up and stared at him with something akin to hope in his emotionless face.

“Do you mean it?” 

“Yes, if you’d like it.” Yuri held back his tears and nodded. Victor gave him a smile and left before Yuri could see his own tears. 

He cleaned his face off and made sure he didn’t smell too strongly of his emotions, not that he would be able to get rid of the scent completely. His scent seemed to be constantly thick with grief. Chris was already drinking when Victor joined him. 

“You reek still.”

“I know.” Neither alpha said anything as Victor poured himself one. 

“So, didja send off the apology letter to JJ yet?” Victor cursed under his breath.

“No, I did get it finished though. Hold on –” Victor leaned his head out into the hall and called for a servant. Minami came running up, cheeks flushed from the exercise and lingering chill in the hallways. 

“There’s a letter I need delivered to Lord Jean-Jacques in my room on top of one of Yuri’s chests. Please take it to be delivered when you’ve found it.” Minami departed with a swift bow, dashing back down the hallway.

“Did you want to try going for the ride then? We probably won’t get another opportunity before winter finally sets in.” Victor shifted guiltily. He had told Yuri he would be riding, but, really, he had no intentions of leaving his mate alone in such a condition. As much as he wanted to get outside and move about, the fear that Yuri might need him in his absence was too great. 

“Probably not, no.” Chris didn’t say anything. They sat in a comfortable silence, listening to the fire crackle in the room as the logs shifted. 

“You don’t have to stay, you know,” Victor offered. He felt more than a little guilty that his friend had decided to stay despite what happened with Yuuri and his mate and the aftermath. JJ seemed to know immediately what was happening when a servant apologized and politely stated they were going to have to be moved to a different room. He declined and stated that he and his wife would be leaving immediately and to send his condolences to Lord Victor. Victor had barely managed to see him off. The alpha’s parting words still rang in his ears. 

“For someone who seems to care so much for those beneath him, you sure didn’t stop the abuse from your mate on the poor boy. At least get him another servant so he won’t be lonely.” His mate Isabella had given him a pleading look, desperate to be away from the estate as soon as possible despite the heavy snow. The words were oddly caring from someone who seemed so self-absorbed, but acknowledging the fact he had done nothing to help Yuuri was something that had taken time to sink in. 

“Someone has to watch after you since all you seem to do is worry about your mate, not that I blame you, but you’re going to end up just like him if you don’t get it together.” Victor scowled at Chris’ remark as it interrupted his thoughts. 

“I’d like to see you try and figure out how to comfort your mate when they’re acting like – well, we’ve lost an important person in our lives, so forgive me for trying to figure out how to help him.” He was trying to tone down his feelings, but he couldn’t help the growl that slipped through. 

“We?” He could hear the smile in Chris’ voice at Victor’s mistake. He rolled his eyes.

“You know what I meant.” 

“I don’t think you know what you mean,” Chris said seriously. “I don’t think you’ve thought much at all when it comes to that boy. He frankly deserved much better than the way Yuri treated him for something he couldn’t help, and you didn’t aid matters by standing aside and letting it happen. Unless things unfolded differently, and I’ve remembered wrong?” There was something extremely irritating about Chris’ opinion. It’s grated Victor’s taut nerves. 

“And before you start growling and telling me to mind my own business, really think about it. Do you think he would have left if you had stepped in? Do you really think Yuri would have been mad at you? Would Yuri be as bad as he is now if you had stopped him?” Victor couldn’t argue back and decided it would be of no use. As much as he wanted to know Yuuri, and as much as he held onto his decidedly one-sided affection for the omega, Yuuri didn’t want him involved or want anything to do with him. 

But would Yuuri have welcomed Victor stepping into his affairs? Had he done so, would things really have been okay between the two omegas? Somehow, he didn’t think so. Yuri would forever have been insecure about sharing a space with Yuuri, and it would have ended just the same. No, there was no way he could have made things better. Sure, he could have prevented Yuri from doing what he did and from suffering the huge burden of guilt that now clouded over him, but Yuri would have been plagued instead by his insecurities which were the real source of the issue. Then of course, even if he had helped Yuuri, the omega still might not have wanted anything to do with him. 

“It doesn’t matter. It won’t change how things happened.” The snap in Victor’s tone was enough to prevent Chris from interrogating him further. After a while, the blond alpha rose.

“Since you have no interest in trying to do anything productive or anything besides staying here and licking your wounds, I’m going to go for that ride, and I’m taking some of your servants with me.” 

“Don’t bring back anything big. I don’t want to be fined.” Victor waved him away feeling his bad mood sink further at the dig. He ignored the urge to have another drink knowing it would only add to his foul mood and opted instead to have a few words with Minako. It would be better worth his time.

In hindsight, going to see Minako was a horrible idea. The priestess was still very angry with her lord for the way he handled the situation and for allowing Yuuri to leave before she could check and make certain he was well.

“Of all the decisions you’ve made, my lord, this by far has been one that you executed with the poorest of judgment. Not only have you increased your mate’s insecurities, which stem in part from going through his heats alone. You’ve also managed to confuse and alienate his only source of comfort. Of course, it’s partially, well mostly, his own fault, but your inaction caused just as much damage! Not to mention, you’ve failed the poor omega he lashed out at that you had been considering to take as a mate! And don’t posture me with ‘it was just an idea.’ I know you were all considering it, and I know that it almost happened.” Victor said nothing as she continued to rant, slamming the dried herbs around on the flat surface she was working on before grinding some into powders. Each cabinet door was slammed shut with such violence that he flinched every time. Once she had finally calmed down, Victor turned to leave but was stopped by her soft voice.

“Did his feelings ever occur to you? To either of you? Did you ever treat him as more than a servant, as a person of your equal with his own feelings and thoughts?” Victor said nothing, leaving the room with the unspoken answer clear between the two of them. No. No, he had not. The realization of this fact hit him much harder than he anticipated, and he knew he needed to make things right with the omega, but he wasn’t quite sure where to begin.

Chris came back with a large boar and a smirk on his face. He could feel the alpha goading him with the looks he sent his way, but he maintained a neutral face and ordered the boar to be prepared. Chris told anyone who’d listen how the animal had thrown itself in front of him as if a god had taken pity on him and wanted to provide them with stores for the winter. Naturally, he felt that such a prize should be shared with the house and his host. Victor felt lucky that the monastery was two villages away. He knew there were some monks there who were always looking for a reason to make a few coins and would very gladly tell someone about Victor’s transgression, if he didn’t bribe them first, which was why he had asked Chris to bring back something small. 

He knew there would be a feast in honor of Chris’ prize, but he couldn’t bring himself to break his promise to his mate. It would be all right if he joined Christophe later for drinks. Besides, it would be more enjoyable for the servants and Chris if they had a break from his gloom. He entered Yuuri’s old room without knocking, noticing the lift in the overwhelming depressive scent that had lingered for days. They would bring up food soon but seeing Yuri asleep, sprawled out on the floor with the kimono half kicked off and bare legs showing had Victor crawling into the bed with him, savoring how the smell of the two omegas combined easily into one of the best scents he had ever come across. Something in him ached briefly, but his mate’s warm body and fairly content face pulled him out of that thought before he could continue it. Yuri didn’t look terribly happy, but his forehead was less scrunched and eyes less red. It felt too soon to hope that he was better, but this felt like a step in the right direction. 

Victor lifted the kimono with a swift jerk and covered the both of them, tucking the sleeping omega against him. Yuri turned to face his mate, shoving his face into his neck and scenting him despite being in a deep sleep. Victor felt himself relax as Yuri melted against him. 

A few servants stopped by to drop off the food, shutting the door to give them privacy and to probably keep whatever spirit they suspected lurked in Yuri within the room. He didn’t want to wake his mate, but he didn’t want to waste the prepared food that wouldn’t stay warm for long in the chilly room. Victor kissed Yuri’s cheek.

“My love, are you hungry?” It took a few more soft kisses before the omega woke, green eyes slightly red from the sting of just waking up. He buried his face in Victor’s chest. 

“Whassit?” Victor combed his fingers through Yuri’s hair, detangling the knots with care.

“Let’s eat before the food grows cold?” Yuri opened his eyes, suddenly very awake.

“You’re really eating with me here?” The question seemed strange to Victor. It wasn’t the first time he had done this, but he reaffirmed his plans with him all the same. 

They both ate quietly, though Yuri seemed to eat with gusto. Maybe it was the alpha in him, but he hoped that it was due to his presence. They both curled up in the bed afterwards, content to just be near each other. Victor didn’t want to push the omega, but he didn’t want him thinking about Yuuri right now either. He found himself wanting to ask the omega about something that had been on his mind for a while.

“Can I ask you something?” Yuri tensed in his arms but gave a hesitant nod. Victor adjusted the grip on his mate. He had a feeling the question would upset him, but he needed an answer if he was ever going to reply to the letter that he had hidden away in one of his drawers to avoid wandering eyes.

“You don’t want children, right?” As expected, Yuri whined and tried to pull away. Victor shushed him, reassuring him with soft sounds that everything was okay.

“Yuri, it doesn’t matter to me. I just want to know how you feel. Are you opposed to children in general? Or just having them?” He paused and rethought why Yuri seemed scared.

“I have no intentions on leaving you if you don’t want kids. I just need to know how much I need to hide from your grandmother, unless you’d rather I be forward and tell her everything.” Yuri stopped struggling. 

“You really don’t care?” He tried to pass it off as a flippant question, but there was no way of hiding the undercurrent of fear in voice.

“No, I just want to protect you from, well, I want to keep you safe.” Yuri knew what he meant, at least that’s what he figured when the omega went slack in his arms once more. Victor almost shook him, thinking he had fallen asleep because he was taking so long to respond when Yuri spoke up.

“I don’t want children, at least, I don’t want to have them. As for anything else…can I think about it? I don’t know how I feel about it right now.” Victor felt him squirm a little.

“Of course, Yura.” There was a lull in the conversation. 

“Victor, can I ask you something?” Yuri took a deep breath before plunging ahead without waiting for his response.

“You’re not ever going to take another omega, right? It’ll only be me?” Victor nudged Yuri’s head to the side, pressing his lips against the mate mark on Yuri’s neck.

“Yuri, I promise that it will only ever be you.” 

“But what about Yuuri, you were going to mark him?” 

“Because you asked me to, Yura, and that was different. Even then, I would never have left you. You’re special to me.” Yuri’s relief was fragrant, lightening the air between them.

“Why?” He could feel the hot tears on his chest, and he wove their legs together so that no part of Yuri wasn’t wrapped up by the alpha. 

“Because you wanted me. You wanted to get to know me, the real me. You saw me as a person and not a title, and you were the first to do so. I enjoyed when our families would get together, and we’d have a moment or two to talk. You were the only one who spoke to me frankly, and of all the people I would have had the honor of mating, you were the only one that felt like an equal to me. I didn’t want to mate someone whose sole purpose in life was to exist for me. It’s sickening and unfair to them.” Neither one said a word as they felt the space between them shrinking. Something inside Victor felt relieved; it finally felt like Yuri was trying and that he wanted what Victor wanted. 

“I’m sorry it didn’t happen sooner,” Victor whispered. Yuri nodded knowing exactly what he referred to. It wouldn’t heal the wounds left from dealing with that pain by himself, but he hoped that it helped that he was sincere in his apology. Having tired himself out once more with tears and the emotional stress of their conversation, Yuri fell asleep against Victor’s chest. Part of him wanted to scoop up the omega and carry them back to their room, but he wasn’t sure how Yuri would react to that in the morning. Yuri smiled in his sleep and nuzzled Victor’s chest.

“I love you,” he mumbled. Victor’s heart soared. It felt so special to hear those words after everything. Maybe he had been wrong about Yuri’s feelings for him. Maybe he hadn’t managed to properly convey his feelings to Victor.

“I love you, Yuuri,” he said with a happy sigh. Victor disentangled himself from the omega, not noticing the frown that slipped over his features once he’d done so. The jagged pain in his chest flared as he repeated the words over and over in his head. He felt haunted by big brown eyes that gazed lovingly only at his mate. Maybe he hadn’t been wrong after all. The thought crushed him as he left the room hoping that there would be enough alcohol left to take the edge off the sting of Yuri’s words.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few **warnings** this chapter includes **depressive thoughts, vague suicidal ideation, an anxiety attack, and dissociative behaviors**. 
> 
> Please take care of yourselves, and please let me know if there is anything I neglected to tag.
> 
> Yuri POV

The fluffy bedding draped over Yuri and the scents from both Victor and _him_ made Yuri feel safe and comfortable in that small sliver of space between sleep and awake. He knew that there was a reason his face felt raw, and he felt weak, but he didn’t need to think about it just yet.  
For a single moment, everything was okay. Slowly, the aches came, the physical reminder of his mental anguish. His joints hurt and creaked as if he was an elder. He felt the beginnings of a headache that ran across his forehead and down his neck. He knew part of it was due to the fact he had hardly moved in weeks. Yuri couldn’t be bothered to bathe or get up when it all felt so pointless. The headache was likely also a symptom of the exhaustive grief that had lasted for weeks. A few tears slid down his cheeks. It amazed him that he was still able to shed tears. 

After a few peaceful moments to realize where he was and remember everything that happened in excruciating detail, the bed felt much colder and emptier. He drew the blankets about him and shivered beneath them. Yuuri’s smell was beginning to fade which seemed a thing impossible when he had first retreated to the small room. Yuuri’s thick sweet scent, heightened by his heat, had drenched everything. It had permeated every single object in the room so that every breath Yuri took was like breathing in the omega, but now, it was stuffy and dampened by his own smell. It reeked now. His pheromones left a bitter, sour odor which was slowly overtaking everything else. It was astringent with his grief that was quickly turning into depression. The smell that came with that was even worse. He couldn’t help it. Everything felt raw, scraped out, hollow. All he felt was emptiness which in turn made him feel guilty. Yuri thought of Victor only as an afterthought. He wasn’t first despite being his actual mate. It was cruel.

Thinking of Victor made Yuri wonder where his mate was. Hadn’t he stayed the night with him? Something was off. Yuri sat up slowly and looked around the room. He observed the way the light filtered in through the slats at the top of the wall and through the shoji which meant that it was mid-morning. Victor had lately taken to bringing or arranging for breakfast to be brought to him. Yuri couldn’t smell food. He whined, sliding back down and dragging the covers over his head to drown out the sound. Had he done something else? Had he ruined the only good thing he had left? The thought that Victor would leave him now made his stomach twist. It was like a hot knife that slid in his gut, leaking agony and fear. He deserved it. Victor deserved better, someone much more suited to him. One who could give him everything… He could almost feel soft brown eyes burning through his eyelids.

Yuri bolted from the room, running down the hallway and smack into one of the sliding doors to the courtyard. He threw them open and barely made it outside before he purged hot acidic bile. Taking in breaths was like dragging water into his lungs. It was heavy and uncomfortable. He was shaking all over from the adrenaline coursing through him from vomiting. It didn’t help that his muscles felt weak from the lack of use. Whispers behind him had him curling in on himself. They would likely assume they had been right in being worried about what had happened to the young lord. Clearly, he was out of his mind. Unfit. Unwell. A disgrace. 

He drowned out all sound and sight, hiding his face against his knees. Small thoughts that had lingered in the back of his mind for weeks grew louder, repeating over and over and over in his head. He couldn’t stop the noise. He knew he needed to hear it. If anyone should have been forced to go out into a blizzard, it should have been him. The only one who should have had to endure that should have been him. He was the thing that was wrong, not Yuuri, not sweet Yuuri who had only tried to be honest and do everything he had been asked to do. What had he done, apart from humiliating, rejecting, and sending him to what very easily could have been his death? And what of Victor? Had he been honest? Had he given Victor what he needed or just acted selfishly as usual? 

Yuri’s teeth ground together, and he could feel his whines slipping through. It didn’t feel real. None of it had felt real from the moment he encountered the heavy sweetness of Yuuri’s heat. It was the most beautiful smell, and just the memory of it had Yuri’s head spinning. 

The whispers stopped. Yuri figured that he must have scared the servants off with his antics. He stared out into garden and further behind it towards the bamboo grove that led to the forest that wrapped around the side of the estate. The urge to move, to run, to leave everything behind had never been greater. He slipped off the raised walkway and stumbled towards it. Rationally, he knew it was cold, but he couldn’t feel it even as he shivered violently and goose bumps appeared on his arms. His bare feet scraped against the rough undergrowth as he moved forward more quickly. The soles of his feet ached, but the pain was muted like everything else these days. He thought he heard a voice calling out to him so he sped towards it. However, the more he moved, the farther off it sounded. He stopped suddenly and sank to his knees, dead leaves cushioning the impact slightly even though the ground was still slightly frozen. Yuri’s breaths came in gasps, and black spots hovered at the corners of his vision. 

Slowly, he realized he came to himself. He was barefoot and underdressed. It was as if he was suddenly awake and aware of himself and his surroundings. He wasn’t dressed for the sharp, bitter winds that cut into him nor the brown leaves that rained over his head. Yuri leaned back against a tree trunk, the rough texture tangible through the thin cloth. It felt sturdy and strangely comforting. Once he could finally breathe, the cold air felt pleasant in a slightly painful way. He gulped it in like he had been denied oxygen inside Yuuri’s room. At first, he thought it might be better to immediately go back the way he came, but he didn’t have the energy to move and decided rest would be better for the time being. Everything finally felt still within him. The horrible thoughts in his head finally seemed a little less loud. They might all be better off without him. He was obviously a burden, and if it weren’t for the fact that he was Lord Victor’s omega, then he wouldn’t have been tolerated at all. He shook his head, wishing that the motion would empty the negative thoughts.

The sun was high overhead, and still, he hadn’t heard a sound. How long had it been? How far had he gotten, or were they not looking for him? He struggled to get to his feet but reminded himself that he hadn’t run off too far. He was certain that he was still within the gates. He had no memory of passing through them. His train of thought tapered off. How far had Yuuri gotten that day? How far did Victor have to go to bring him back? How close did he come to losing Yuuri? To losing Victor? He hadn’t even once thought about the fact that Victor himself might have come to harm in his attempts to rescue Yuuri. The only thought he had was rejection. _My mate no longer needs me. I am not enough for him._ It wasn’t fair for him to think that way, but nevertheless, those were his thoughts.

He tried to work his way back, hoping that he was going in the right direction. It was slow going, especially now that he was conscious of the pain in his feet and that his clothing was constantly getting caught on low hanging branches. Yuri attempted to block out the pain each time a branch or bush tugged at his skin. He reminded himself it wasn’t the worst pain he had dealt with. 

Just when Yuri was convinced that he was lost, the small grove opened up. He had ended up at the furthest reaches of the estate yet still within the walled compound. The main building was busy with people frantically running to and fro. Obviously, his disappearance hadn’t gone unnoticed. He heard a horse ride up and saw the alpha who sat atop look down at him. He seemed both confused and happy at Yuri’s sudden reappearance. It might have been ridiculous to think that Victor would have asked people to saddle up so quickly to look for his mate had they lived in a world where things like alphas and omegas didn’t exist, but Yuri was all too aware of the painful fact that being an omega meant he was a prime target, despite the fact he was already mated. _How much worse would it have been for Yuuri if he had lived but someone else found him?_

“Lord Yuri, we weren’t sure what had happened to you. I’m glad to see you’re mostly unharmed.” Chris leaned down offering a hand while reaching to grab him by the scruff and pull him up. Yuri whipped back.

“Don’t touch me,” he hissed. The look of shock passed over Chris’ face quickly. Yuri knew that as an omega he was supposed to treat other alphas, at least those of nobility, with the respect they deserved, but he didn’t care for dynamic games. Alphas didn’t deserve any special obeisance just for being alphas, at least in his opinion. 

“Victor’s been worried, Yuri. Are you really okay? Let me take you around to the front.” 

“I said, don’t touch me! I’ll walk myself. Ride back and let them know I’ll need a bath.”

“Shouldn’t you see Victor first?” Yuri paused. The silence was uncomfortable for both of them.

“Not like this.” Yuri could see that Chris trying to figure out if there was any deeper meaning, but he didn’t say anything further and rode off after a curt nod. Yuri was thankful for the softer grass beneath his feet and carefully made his way towards where the baths were. He watched as the people slowed down back at the main building and returned to their work. Word of Yuri’s arrival must have reached them from Chris. 

Nobody met him at the baths except for the servants who had been sent there. Their faces faced the floor as they bowed upon his entry. He didn’t look at them and stripped off his torn kimono, flinging it to the side. There was a wooden stool for him to sit while he was scrubbed down. He felt soft, cautious hands as they cleaned his back, hair, and legs. Yuri hissed at the beta who scrubbed too roughly at his cut-up feet. Another beta stepped in to take his place, tenderly cleaning around the broken skin and flushing out the dirt. He didn’t say a word. Once he was done being scrubbed, he climbed into the tub. The hot water on his raw skin stung initially, but once he settled, he realized how much he ached and how soothed he felt by its warmth.

“Leave,” Yuri demanded gruffly. The servants didn’t need to be told twice, hurrying out of the room. One would inevitably stand outside the door to be ready for when he was ready to get out and to stand by just in case he overheated himself. 

The sound of the fire being stoked underneath the tub was the only sound he heard in the small building. He submerged himself in the water before breaking the surface. He hadn’t ever been able to hold his breath for long. The silence and warmth in the room calmed him more and more. He noticed every single drop of water and listened to the occasional drip from his hair to the surface of the water in the wooden tub. Yuri stretched his arms out along the edge and soaked in all relaxing sounds and feelings. He rested against the wood and mentally drifted off.

After a few minutes, Yuri cautiously brought two fingers to the scent gland on his neck. He could feel how much softer the skin was in comparison to the slightly firmer flesh around it. The mate mark underneath had it’s own texture that Yuri didn’t know how to describe. He was sure it was similar to scar tissue, but his body had no scars so he couldn’t be sure. These were other scents glands on the other side of his neck, though not nearly as sensitive as the one on his left. Two small ones dotted the insides of his wrists, just over the veins, they were the least sensitive of all the ones he had. The only time they managed to give off scent at all was during his heat. Yuri’s fingers trailed down to the ones that sat on the inside of his thighs right near where his thigh met his groin. He didn’t touch them because they were especially sensitive. It was something that Victor had happily discovered. It had been mortifying when Victor stroked them while he teased him, causing him to come with a small gasp. Yuri had never paid much attention to them before. Victor certainly did after that. 

His hands found their way up to the one on his neck again. He pressed the pad of his thumb against it and was surprised at the warm feeling that flooded his chest. It made him purr as his scent leaked beneath the digit. Yuri could smell Victor’s claim on him, and it settled him more than the warm waters of the bath. There was still the tangy scent of his unhappiness, but it didn’t smell nearly as strong as it had before. Yuri assumed it was more than likely due to him being desensitized to it rather than the smell actually going away. He would need to learn to mask it. 

Trying to empty himself of feeling, Yuri noticed the sourness fade. He worked at it until the water grew cold. It wouldn’t help any if he stunk up the fresh clothing that had been brought for him. He stood up in the tub and called for the servant who had been waiting outside. He brought Yuri a clean fundoshi and shitagi. The clean undergarments reminded him that he had gone far too long without bathing. He worked to swallow down the grimace. The servant paused after helping him into the shitagi. 

“Yes?” 

“I’m sorry, my lord, but I wasn’t sure if you were returning to – well, it’s just that I didn’t know – ” Yuri could feel his impatience rise but tamped it down. 

“Bring me one of my daily ones, I don’t need to be overdressed if we aren’t entertaining anyone other than Lord Christophe. You can take the rag I was wearing and leave it on the futon in my servant’s room. Seal the room off when you’re done and touch nothing.” The servant gave him a questioning look but bowed and dashed out quickly.

“And hurry! It’s freezing!” 

He was shaking by the time he heard steps on the stone leading towards the bath.

“It’s about time! I’m freezing.” Yuri turned around to see Victor’s face shining down on him. He wasn’t quite sure what it was that made him look so hopeful.

“Victor, I’m indecent, and the servant will be back any minute.” He hoped that Victor would take the dismissal easily and step out.

“Yuri.” It was only his name, but it was said like a command. Yuri found himself straightening, head sliding along his neck, offering it up to the alpha. It felt like a slap in the face, and he hissed out his displeasure. Yuri couldn’t look up at his alpha, but he watched him out of the corner of his eye. Victor seemed to be studying him. Whatever it was that he was looking for had him inching closer to Yuri. His scent swelled in the room and kept Yuri locked in place. It took everything in him to stay exactly as he was and not cower and crawl towards him. He knew the omega in him would have felt much more at ease had he been able to prostrate himself on the floor, face meeting the wood as he bowed deeply.

Victor reached out to him, but Yuri didn’t lean in to the touch. He could feel his inner omega rejecting Yuri’s decision and that the only thing it wanted was to accept the touch from his mate, to be comforted and to apologize for all he had done to make his alpha upset, but he wouldn’t. He refused. All at once, Yuri was surprised by the cold arms that wrapped around him. Victor’s body shook against him, and Yuri tried to hold himself steady to prevent them from falling over. The slight turn of his head let him see the complete and utter misery that painted his mate’s face. Victor’s clothing was rumpled and dirty. He must have been searching for him. Yuri swallowed the lump of guilt in his throat. 

Victor pressed his thumb against Yuri’s scent gland, releasing Yuri’s smell into the small room, and he leaned forward to press his lips against it. Victor kept his face nuzzled into Yuri’s neck, drowning himself in his scent. Yuri hadn’t realized he was purring until he felt a few tears fall on his shoulder. All he could feel was shame. He couldn’t even comfort Victor properly. 

The servant finally rushed in, startled to see them both there. It was clear he was frantically trying to decide if he should stay to help Yuri finish getting dressed or if Victor would growl at him and send him running. The servants had learned quickly that Victor didn’t like to be interrupted. Yuri pushed Victor away carefully. He didn’t want to upset the alpha, but he wasn’t ready to deal with him yet either. Yuri ended up with his hand in Victor’s so that the touch was there and hoped it would bring comfort to the alpha. He knew Victor would read it as Yuri trying to pause his actions and not an outright rejection of his advances.

“You can leave those there,” Yuri said, pointing with his chin towards a clear, clean space. The servant dumped the delicate clothing as quickly and carefully as he could before running out of the room.

“Alpha, will you dress me?” Victor frowned at the title. Yuri didn’t ever call him that, but Victor didn’t comment on it. His fingers were clumsy with the fabric. He was much more adept at taking the complicated dress off than putting it on, but Victor had Yuri to help him and soon dressed the omega.

“I’m going to go clean up my face, but you should clean up yourself.” Yuri reached a hand up to Victor’s cheek. It had been an impulse. He was mentally trying to put distance between them until he strategized a way to sort through his feelings, but Victor’s drawn brows and small pout made Yuri want to reach out to him. Victor grabbed the hand that brushed against his cheek and pulled it to his mouth, pressing a kiss against the bare palm. 

“Yuri.” He rubbed his cheek against Yuri’s palm. Yuri felt his heart jump. He tentatively pulled his hand back. 

“If I’m ever going to be of use to you, I’d better get going.” Yuri’s voice was light and airy. Neither one of them was fooled by the tone, but he took a step back and plastered a smile on his face. Victor’s eyes fell to the floor, and Yuri couldn’t bear to see the devastated look on his face for another moment. He ran out of the room, slipping on the geta left for him before making his way back to his room.

Yuuri’s chamber had been closed off like he asked. Both doors shut, sealing in everything that was Yuuri within the room. He tried the one in the hallway to make sure it couldn’t be opened. The only way into the room now was through his own as there was no lock on the door there, but he wouldn’t use it. Not again. The vanity in his room was nearly empty as Yuri despised the custom that had omegas and beta women whitening their face and painting it to change their appearance. It was an unpleasant feeling on his face, but he felt the need now for it. It would be his mask. As he applied it to his face, he felt like he was telling himself that every good omega lord and lady wore it as expected, so he needed to get used it. The very least he could do for Victor was perform the duties that had been set forth by custom and decree. He would do this to show that he was worth something. He forcefully put the thought out of his mind that Victor wanted him as he was because who would want that? He was a spiteful, angry omega who had no desire for pups or prestige. He could be a lord who had the ability to inherit greatly if he performed the one task demanded of him. Even if he failed, if he at least tried then maybe he’d be able to give Victor the one thing his grandmother was still withholding from his personal inheritance. If he could bring honor to Victor’s name that would be better than being a waste of food and space, right? 

Yuri had to reapply the white powder several times before the tears stopped falling and then applied the rouge to his lips. At least his face looked less dismal with the cosmetics.


	14. Chapter 14

Yuuri intentionally sped through what had happened and cut out some of the worst details which earned him more than one side glare from Phichit, but he couldn’t bear to break his parents’ hearts once more. He could see the regret on their faces, and he didn’t want to make it worse by telling them that the privileged life Yakov had promised them wasn’t everything he made it out to be. He didn’t blame Yakov for it either. He knew that he had only been trying to help Yuri. Still, they were relieved to find that he was in relatively good health, at least as well as could be expected, especially now that they knew his poor health was partially due to his dynamic and not through any fault of their own. It wasn’t uncommon for omegas to have health issues, as their bodies were physically weaker than their alpha and beta counterparts. Of course this didn’t mean that Yuuri’s health issues were resolved, but rather, they were generally preventable as long as Yuuri didn’t put too much stress on his system. If Yuuri’s family was lucky, they wouldn’t have to deal with the severity of the issues he had experienced prior to leaving Hasetsu. 

As Yuuri’s parents listened to his story, they eyed Phichit with growing interest and seemed mildly disappointed that he wasn’t going to be mated with him, though no one pushed the issue. It was apparent to all that Phichit was very much attached to Yuuri, and that if Yuuri had turned him down, he had his reasons. 

After giving his lengthy tale, Mari glossed over her situation. She had been proposed to by a man in the village, but when it came time to follow through, he backed out. His parents seemed more upset about the disrespect the man had done to her and their family than Mari did. She confessed that the only reason she had accepted was because she knew that she needed the help to run the onsen in the future. It made Yuuri feel a bittersweet sense of relief that things hadn’t worked out. He knew that they both had similar beliefs about being mated to someone without having feelings for them. It didn’t absolve him of his guilt however. He knew that she needed the help despite having been told by her previously that she could handle it on her own. They’d have to figure out something together in order to keep the onsen running in the future. 

The rest of that first day was spent enjoying each other’s company and sharing food and good stories to distract themselves from the heavy mood. Hiroko and Toshiya welcomed Phichit into their home, ensuring he was well fed and lavishing him with praise for everything that he had done for Yuuri. 

It went without saying that no one spoke of Mari’s, Yuuri’s, or Phichit’s failed courtings. Their mutual understanding of each other’s feelings had each of them giving the other private moments when they needed it. Yuuri didn’t spend too much of his time thinking things over, however. He knew he needed to address his issues eventually, but he wasn’t ready yet. 

Yuuri’s parents were thrilled with his return home, though they soon noticed that despite being in relatively good physical health, something had changed within their son. No matter how much he tried to slide back into his old patterns, he couldn’t bring himself to do anything that he used to do. There was something missing which had him tossing and turning each night, unable to get restful sleep, which in turn contributed to him holing up in his room during the day. 

A small tug at his heart whenever he thought about him made Yuuri aware of exactly what it was he was missing, or rather, whom he missed, but he pushed the thoughts out of his head whenever they came up. It didn’t stop him from jolting wide awake in the middle of the night the few times he did manage to get to sleep, remembering flashes of green eyes that looked betrayed. Somehow, those weren’t the worst dreams. 

The most painful ones began with the last time he saw his face, desperately trying to hold in his emotions. The dream would then morph and change depending on the day, but it would always end with a bird’s eye view of his old room and a blond omega huddled in a familiar bed, draped in one of Yuuri’s favorite kimono. He dreamed the omega sobbed quietly day after day after day. It was excruciating because he could feel his pain. Yuuri didn’t want to feel it. He wanted to be detached from everything he had left behind; he wanted to be stronger, to be someone that his family and friends could rely on. 

He certainly hadn’t been there enough for Phichit when he should have been, even if the situation was complicated by the fact that Phichit’s issues were partially due to Yuuri having rejected him, but Phichit wouldn’t be in Hasetsu much longer. He had planned on leaving immediately, but Yuuri’s parents had cajoled him into staying a bit longer. Tomorrow would be his last day with them. Yuuri needed to stop wallowing in his pain and move on with his life, and it was important to him to spend time with Phichit while he still had the opportunity. 

The guilt that weighed on Yuuri’s shoulders every time he wanted to spend time with Phichit didn’t go away even though he knew that Lord Yuri and Lord Victor weren’t going to come chase after him. He wasn’t even certain how Victor felt about him, much less Yuri now with everything that had happened. The only thing he was certain of was that his room needed to be cleaned and that he needed a bath. A quick look around his room showed him how messy it had become since his return. A change was definitely in order.

After tidying up his room and leaving the door open to air it out, Yuuri made his way to the baths. It was oddly quiet. Business had been unusually slow despite the cold weather. It reminded him that there were more important things for him to be worried about. He scrubbed himself down on one of the small stools when he heard a clatter behind him. Phichit stood there awkwardly, avoiding looking directly at Yuuri. Yuuri turned his head back around and calmed his racing heart. The noise had scared him, and his scent of distress wasn’t making it any easier for Phichit. He was still learning how to control his omegan nature; it felt familiar, yet foreign, making it easy for Yuuri to forget he was giving off scents unintentionally.

“Good afternoon,” Yuuri greeted. The hard brush he was using felt rough but pleasant on his skin. He heard Phichit sit down behind him.

“Hello. Should I – do you want me to wash your back?” Yuuri froze for a split second before he reached behind him passing the brush without looking. He could sense how tense Phichit was.

Phichit barely brushed the surface of his back. Yuuri chuckled. There was something sweet about being treated so gently. It was comforting. Phichit tried again, this time with the perfect amount of pressure. Yuuri hummed to let him know that this was preferable to his previous strokes. Phichit’s hand slowed once he finished. Neither one said a word. The air between them felt thick. He could sense Phichit had something to say, but for one reason or another was withholding his thoughts. 

“Shall I scrub yours?” There was a quiet squeak, but he heard Phichit rearranging himself so that his back was to Yuuri. Yuuri scrubbed quickly and efficiently before handing Phichit back his own brush. After rinsing the remaining suds off, Yuuri silently made for the baths. Outside, the pools were steaming, and he eased into the warm, mildly fragrant waters feeling his muscles relax and joints unlock. A few minutes later, Phichit came out and entered the same pool. They sat in silence enjoying the quiet warmth. Just when Yuuri felt like he was close to overheating, Phichit slid closer to him so that they weren’t on opposite sides any longer. 

“I didn’t mean to bombard you like this, but we haven’t had much time alone as of late.” Yuuri was a little surprised to hear that Phichit had gone to such lengths to steal a moment of his time, but he wasn’t going to interrupt him. 

“Of course, I’m listening.” The heat was starting to affect him, but he didn't want to make it seem like he was running away from the conversation. Hopefully, Phichit would keep it short.

“Let me just start – I am only saying this as your friend,” Phichit paused and reached for Yuuri’s hand that was clinging to the edge of the pool and intertwined their fingers before continuing.

“I hope you know, Yuuri, I will always be here for you no matter what you need.” Phichit gave Yuuri’s fingers a firm squeeze. 

“I know I’m returning home tomorrow, but if you ever find that you need assistance, I will always come to you.” Phichit dropped their hands and left before Yuuri could respond. He felt dizzy from the heat and from trying to process Phichit’s words. It was a struggle to get out of the pool, and he had to lie down to cool off before he felt stable enough to move again. 

Since his heat, Yuuri had felt strange, as if parts of him were breaking apart to come together in new ways. One thing he noticed was that although he had no ill feelings for Phichit, and never had, there was nothing that made his stomach roil with disgust more than having the alpha’s scent on his skin. Yuuri spent several minutes washing his hand to cleanse himself of the smell which seemed to stick. Then, a memory came unbidden after letting his mind wander while trying to wipe the scent off. As it passed, it was almost as if he could smell him there. Fleeting thoughts of a soft, unhurried kiss and flickers of a warm, soothing scent were all it took for his body to reject the thought of smelling like anyone else, anyone else but him. Yuuri poured more cold water out to wash his hands one last time. Thoughts of “what if” were no good to him now. He needed to focus on other things such as how to be more useful to his family.

His mother kept busy in the kitchen by preparing meals for the few guests that were there. The small room smelled of the sea with deeply fragrant wafts coming from where a few dishes were simmering in dashi or dashi based sauces. The bitter, earthy smell of the vegetables made his mouth water. 

“Did you need something, Yuuri?” Hiroko didn’t have to turn around to know which of her children was behind her. Now that Yuuri’s scent had changed, it had become much easier for her to discern who was there. 

“Can you please teach me to cook?” His mother stopped what she was doing and turned to look back at her son. After a moment, she took a step to the side. 

“Watch me first. There’s a lot I need to do right now, but you can help me when I start dinner.” It seemed magical how she was able to turn seaweed, fish, vegetables, and rice into a large meal for each guest. At her instruction, he carried the trays to each of the rooms. Once he had finished the last of them, he returned to the kitchen where his mother had a bowl of rice, soup, and some side dishes waiting for him as well. She stopped him before he took his first bite.

“Think carefully about each bite. What does it taste like? Who prepared it? Where was it grown? Where was it caught? Be conscious of everything that goes into what you eat.” The first thought he had was _fresh_. Everything had been recently acquired. His mother went shopping first thing that morning to the daily market in the town’s center to select the fish for the day. She also made sure to acquire some more seaweed and kelp that would serve as the backbone of the unique flavor to many of the dishes. The vegetables were grown in their small plot out back that was set away from the baths. The soft, almost sweet daikon in his soup was picked just before she cooked it. He was so distracted from trying to take in everything he missed Mari calling out to him.

“What’s he doing?” 

“He asked me to teach him how to cook.” 

“Do you think –?” He glanced up from the bite halfway to his mouth to see both his mother and Mari grinning at him.

“What is it?”

“Nothing.” Mari waved her hand as if dispersing whatever conversation had passed between her and their mother. The grin on Mari’s face slipped when she looked back at her brother. Yuuri took another bite of rice, stifling the feeling that his thoughts were visible on his face. He had the distinct notion she wouldn’t approve of his decision, but Yuuri knew he needed to do what was best for their family and in a roundabout way, it would be what was ultimately best for him as well. She wouldn’t be able to argue with that.

Yuuri spent the afternoon helping his sister prepare rooms and do some of the daily cleaning. She looked much more at ease now that she wasn’t bearing the brunt of the work. Once it was time for dinner, they both hurried to the main room where it was served. Two guests sat in one of the corners away from the lone guest who sat in the middle of the room. Phichit sat in the corner where the Katsuki family would sit once they had finished serving their guests. Yuuri wasn’t able to help out his parents in the somewhat cramped kitchen. It wasn’t a terribly small space, but there wasn’t room for all three of them, especially as his parents worked in tandem to prepare the meal leaving Yuuri to stand awkwardly to the side, momentarily forgotten. His mother offered him an apologetic smile after they served the meals and promised to show him some things in the morning. 

Nobody commented on the fact that it was Phichit’s last night, but he knew his mother had prepared the sweets she had given to the guests after their meal with Phichit in mind. Of course, Hiroko would only say she had leftovers and didn’t want them to spoil. Yuuri and Mari groaned when their father brought out the sake he had been saving for a special occasion. Yuuri had a feeling it was originally meant to be a present for Mari and her mate once the wedding ceremony had been performed. He ignored the itch at the back of his throat and the passing thought that this wasn’t the best of ideas and slung back the liquor savoring the sweetness brought out by keeping it warmed. 

The haze settled in far too quickly for him to realize that he was drunk, and soon, everything made him giggle. Their table was exploding with laughter between Toshiya and Phichit fueled by Mari who kept making sly digs about one of their previous guests who had been particularly difficult. Yuuri caught his mother’s eye as she sat watching them with flushed cheeks and a small smile on her face.

“I’m happy you’re home, Yuuri.” His mother ruffled his hair and pressed her thumb against his scent gland gently. Warmth flooded his system. It wasn’t an unusual thing for mothers to rub their children’s scent glands to calm them. The nostalgic action made Yuuri realize that he missed the frequent affectionate touches from Yuri. The thought sobered him instantly. To Yuuri, it seemed like his scent hung heavy in the air, though free from any traces of sadness or worry that had lingered in it recently. It must have had an effect on Phichit which was why the alpha kept looking over at him all evening.

“Yuuri?” Hiroko watched her son’s face fall. Yuuri could tell she was worried she had done something to trigger his abrupt change in mood.

“I appear to have had too much. I’m going to bed.” He staggered to his feet and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. She reached for one of his hands, but he let it slip through her grip. He could feel two more pairs of eyes attached to his back, but it only triggered his desire to be alone more. 

The solitude of his room didn’t bring with it the comfort it previously did. Being alone was much more uncomfortable than it used to be, but then again, he had never enjoyed being alone before. Yuuri had allowed himself to adjust to having someone by his side that needed attention and affection as much as he did. In the morning, Yuuri would follow through on his plans. He would inform his parents of his intentions to stay at the onsen to help Mari run it in the future. He suspected they anticipated on him finding a mate and moving out again soon. The idea of taking a mate left a grimace on his face. 

If he could trust what Lady Minako had said, then he might be able to get through future heats without having to use someone else. If he could manage to get through his heats alone, Yuuri felt like the only obstacle in his way would be gone. If he couldn’t afford it though, he was going to need a back up plan. If he could get the suppressants, they would very likely be expensive. It was possible that it could be manageable if he found a physician who was willing to help him. It was unlikely they would be, however, given that omegas were strongly encouraged to go out and find mates as soon as possible in order to raise children. The idea was unpleasant. It wasn’t “normal” for omegas to not want children, but the idea of having pups made him uneasy. 

The image of small children with long, shimmery silver hair and bright green eyes popped into his head. His chest squeezed at the thought. A low whine escaped his lips, and he clamped a hand over his mouth to smother his sobs. This would be the last night. He would cry tonight, think of every future imaginable between him, Yuri, and Victor, and then tomorrow when the sun rose he would get to work. Yuuri had felt strangely lost since he returned home, as if he didn’t know who he was without Yuri. Maybe he could find himself again. He needed to build up his sense of self, and maybe with time, the overwhelming sense of loss would fade.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Gosh, wow, I'm sorry it's been so long but while you're here please look at [this](http://nomadicnuisance.tumblr.com/post/158056765915/notyourmumsfanfic-please-humbly-accept-this) awesome fan art and [this one too](https://claire1998.deviantart.com/art/Yuri-Lap-Nap-on-Yuuri-652101409) if you haven't already checked it out. 
> 
> Also, I'm gonna shamelessly plug [this](http://quotev.com/story/9003976/The-Angel-and-the-Soldior/4) cute little story that's based of this because I somehow inspire people? It's a very cute reader x Yuri fic.

The sun rose too early for his tastes, but Yuuri had promised himself that he was going to get to work today, and he planned on honoring that commitment. He also needed to see Phichit off. Phichit had tried to sneak off before everyone woke up, but Mari found him and spoiled his early departure. Yuuri’s parents gave him enough food to help him with his travels, and Yuuri insisted on sharing some of the money Victor had given him to help his return journey go smoothly. Phichit scrunched his face up at the money but caved when Yuuri gave him a genuine smile. Mari, Hiroko, and Toshiya left the two of the them to have a final moment together before he left. 

“Yuuri, our time together has been so short, and I’ve missed you so much. I hope that we’ll stay in touch this time.” Phichit hefted the sack he was carrying onto his shoulder. Yuuri wondered if he had enough to get back.

“I can never thank you enough for all you’ve done for me. I promise that if I ever need anything, I’ll ask you for help. Please send me a letter when you’ve returned so I know you’re safe.” Shining grey eyes sparkled at Yuuri’s promise. Yuuri felt happy knowing he had finally done something he felt comfortable with that had make his friend happy. Phichit reached for his hand and squeezed it. 

“I will.”

“Stay safe.” Phichit nodded and set off at a brisk pace. Some of Yuuri’s neighbors were just waking up and beginning their daily routine. He watched the small signs of life from each house as little puffs of smoke snaked through the thatch from the hearths inside and heard children’s cries of hunger barely audible through the daub walls. Mari came out after a while with a broom in hand. 

“So, are you gonna say what you’re thinking about, or are you gonna keep sitting on it like a hen?”

“Not yet. I need to talk to someone first, but I promise, I’ll talk about it when I’m ready.” She nodded and started sweeping the front step. Yuuri went back inside to help prepare the baths and guests for their breakfast. 

It took Yuuri two weeks for him to find a doctor willing to see him. Most were betas, but even they were nervous about the implications of being alone with an unmated omega and the scandal it could bring. After speaking with them about the possibility of finding suppressants, he found that although readily available and fairly inexpensive, they brought their own set of problems. The physician cautioned him that taking them regularly over long periods of time could make him infertile. She seemed reluctant to give him the medicine but conceded upon the condition that if he met someone soon he wanted to mate with that he would switch to contraceptives or stop taking them all together. Yuuri didn’t inform her that there was no chance he would find a mate, but he felt that if it made her feel more comfortable he’d tell her the white lie. 

The first few days on the suppressants had Yuuri wondering why it was he had wanted to take them in the first place. He didn’t remember the ones Minako made for him making him this sick. Yuuri was constantly nauseated and dizzy and plagued with off and on headaches. He tried to keep up with Mari and his parents, but they worried that his health was relapsing so they insisted he take it easy. The time to sit and think did not help Yuuri’s state of mind. As much as he tried to keep his mind off Lord Yuri and Lord Victor, he couldn’t completely remove his thoughts of them. Whenever they drifted into his thoughts, he encouraged himself to think of ways to be productive once he was feeling better. If the symptoms didn’t last long, Yuuri was finally going to reveal his plan to his family. 

After three days of feeling unwell, Yuuri woke up feeling slightly less terrible. True, his headache hadn’t completely gone away, but he was able to eat a light meal and help his parents bring meals to their guests. He helped Mari air out some of the rooms that were recently vacated, shaking out the futons while Mari cleaned the floors and dusted the surfaces. At lunch, Hiroko finally began teaching Yuuri some basic cooking skills after she prepared meals for the two guests still remaining. She helped him prepare his own meal, a rice soup with fresh daikon to help him regain his appetite. He overcooked his rice, but he was proud as he took a bite that he hadn’t completely ruined the dish. It would take time before he was able to do more, but for now, it was enough. 

In the early evening, three guests arrived, and Yuuri helped greet them and prepared them tea to warm them up. Even though they were near the shore, and the weather was generally more mild, the bitter northern winds were finally bringing winter to Hasetsu. After they had been fed and shown to their rooms, Yuuri flagged down Mari.

“So, if it’s not too much trouble, can you meet with me and bring mom and dad?” She didn’t look too shocked by his sudden request and offered to bring them with some tea in a few minutes. He nodded and headed back to the open dining area at the table they usual sat at. Nerves crawled under his skin, but he took deep breaths to try and calm down. It wasn’t like his parents would react badly to his decision. A phantom ache in his skull reminded him of the last bad reaction he experienced. He wondered if Lord Yuri and Lord Victor were doing well. Toshiya arrived first, smelling of grilled fish and the sea from being in the kitchen for the last few hours. He smiled awkwardly at his son. Mari and Hiroko came together with a pot of tea and earthenware. Mari poured for all of them before letting Yuuri begin. He took a sip of the tea. Its warmth and bitter taste were comforting. He cleared his throat.

“I’m not sure how to begin because I’m nervous about being so honest, but I want you all to know that although I think you hope for me to take a mate and leave before my next heat, I won’t be doing so. I’ve gone on suppressants, and it’s my intention to take over the onsen with Mari if that’s acceptable to you.” Yuuri sank into a low bow as he continued. “I know that I still have much to learn and that in some ways I will still be a burden, but I will put everything into helping run our family business.”

“Yuuri.” Mari sounded almost disappointed as she said his name, but their father spoke up and redirected the conversation.

“It has always been our wish that this onsen remain in the family. I know that your health has prevented you from being more help than we would have liked or you would have, I imagine, but it is not something that we’ve ever held against you. If this is truly your wish, then I have no arguments against it and will fully accept your request.” Toshiya paused to see if Hiroko or Mari would contribute anything, but neither said a word.

“It would seem we are all in agreement. Starting tomorrow, you will spend a week with me, then your mother, and then Mari in order to try and help you acclimate to the pace you can expect from being a more integral part of our family business.” Toshiya then allowed Yuuri to lift his head and excused himself, clapping his son on the back, showing his joy in Yuuri’s proposal. Mari finished her tea and quickly excused herself. He knew she was upset with him though he couldn’t exactly figure out why. 

“Yuuri, is this truly what you want?” The way his mother phrased the question made it seem that she knew with complete certainty it wasn’t, but Yuuri didn’t feel that way, not entirely. His feelings were conflicted, and yes, he would admit part of his decision was based on guilt, but he also genuinely wanted to help his parents and his sister. It was the first time he was really able to be useful to them, and he wanted to be. 

“I want to help you.” Hiroko nodded.

“You know, as much as I agree with your father, I want you to keep the possibility of finding a mate in your mind. I’m not asking you to go out and search for one, but if the right person came to the door, I don’t want you to turn them away simply because you feel you need to stay here.” Yuuri swallowed. The only way his decision would ever change is if Lord Yuri came through that door and asked him to return, but even then, they will still have much to talk through before he would agree to that. 

“Yes, mother.” Her eyes sparkled at his reply. He offered to finish off the tea and clear the dishes to give her some time to rest. As Yuuri chugged the remaining liquid, his thoughts centered on what he expected the next day would entail. 

It unsurprisingly ended up being a long day. Toshiya spent most of his time cooking and doing manual labor to maintain upkeep of the building. It never required anything extensive. In the next few years, they would need the roof rethatched, but for now, it consisted mostly of ensuring doors closed properly and checking to make sure there were no holes in the walls and that the timber was in good condition. Yuuri was thankful when the post arrived and a letter came for him from Phichit. 

Seeing the alpha’s hand made him miss Phichit, but he was thankful to hear that he returned safely, especially after reading that it had been a more difficult journey than theirs had been. It was snowing heavily in the mountains now, and he wasn’t sure they’d be able to get more letters out until spring. Phichit mentioned that there were a lot of rumors going around about Lord Victor’s estate but that none of them thankfully mentioned Yuuri. It did leave him concerned that maybe something had happened in his absence. He wished it was appropriate to reach out to them and ensure their wellbeing, but he knew that even if it was, it wouldn’t be welcome. Of course, he also thought that maybe the rumors were regarding the possibility of good things between Lord Yuri and Lord Victor, such as them expecting their first child. It was certainly a much more positive thought than if something was wrong. 

Yuuri scribbled a short reply informing the alpha of the happenings in the onsen since he left and about his decision to stay and help his parents. He tried to convey excitement and hoped he wouldn’t worry Phichit again. With a few well wishes, Yuuri sent the reply knowing that it would likely take much longer to be received if the weather was truly as bad as Phichit stated it was. The letter had barely left his hand when his father found him and dragged him back to the kitchen. Toshiya spent the afternoon instructing Yuuri on how to make the more basic dishes that their family provided for their guests, correcting him sternly anytime he was about to make a mistake. 

When Yuuri crawled into bed that night, his body ached all over from being used. The bath had eased some of the soreness but still some remained. It was a pleasant sort of ache which he attributed to his mental attitude more than actually enjoying the pain. His mother had prepared one of his favorite dishes for dinner with rice, eggs, and fresh vegetables to congratulate him on accomplishing his first day of real work with his father. As he fell asleep, Yuuri couldn’t help but feel strangely unsatisfied. What it was that he was missing, he didn’t know, but hopefully with time, it would become apparent. 

The aches Yuuri experienced the night before should have been the first sign. He should have immediately known that something was wrong, but it had been so long since he’d been ill he almost thought it wouldn’t happen again. As he lay in bed coughing and wheezing, Yuuri realized that it was a fool’s hope. All it took to put him out of commission was one day of hard work. It angered him in a way it never had before. If he couldn’t ever get well enough to help his family, then how else could he be of use? His father didn’t stop by his room to check on him, and Yuuri felt like a disappointment. Mari stopped by mid-morning with soup and rice. She dunked the rag he had placed on his forehead to keep him cool in cold water, wiping down his face. 

“You know, you think you have to keep up with mother, father, and I, but you don’t have to, Yuuri. You could find other things that only you could do or things that are less taxing on your body. We’ve only ever wanted what’s best for you. We don’t want you to hurt yourself by trying to do more than you can.” Yuuri closed his eyes, shame coursing through him. 

“Regardless of whatever you decide to do, we will all support you, Yuuri. It’s okay to rely on us. You aren’t a burden.” At Mari’s words, a few tears spilled out onto his cheeks. 

“I just want to be helpful,” Yuuri croaked out. Mari smiled, wiping away his tears.

“I know. Let’s focus on getting you better. I’ll talk to some people in the village. We’ll figure something out, okay?” Yuuri nodded. Getting better was going to take most of his energy, but they would find something. Mari would find something. 

The fever reminded him of his heat, the constant shaking and shivering, as he felt cold and hot at the same time. Hiroko and Mari brought him food and drink to help keep him hydrated and fed, but he had no appetite. Hard, painful coughs choked him, and he tried to breath deeply without inciting more coughing fits. After two days of no change, Hiroko insisted on calling a physician to the house. It was the same one Yuuri had seen before for his suppressants. She examined him carefully but could find nothing that looked like the cause of the illness. Yuuri took the news in stride, used to hearing the same thing from doctors before he presented, but his mother didn’t agree with the physician and suggested that there must be something that could be done to cure him. The woman offered a tonic to sooth Yuuri’s chest and throat from the excessive coughing but said that was the extent she could do. Yuuri knew it wasn’t the worst sickness he had suffered from, but his anxiety rose as his mother frantically tried everything in her power to make him better. 

In the early afternoon on the fifth day, Yuuri’s fever broke. His mother cracked a watery smile at her son as she insisted on spoon-feeding him ojiya until he refused to eat more. After a soak in the hot springs, he wandered the onsen noticing that the place looked just as spotless and cared for as it had when he had helped his father. In a way, it hurt Yuuri to know that Mari was right, and they had adapted a long time ago to working around and without him, but it also encouraged him. As long as Mari could find someone to help her run the onsen with the daily chores, she truly wouldn’t need him. However, none of this would matter if they didn’t bring in more customers. True to her word, Mari found him in the hallway and pulled them into one of the vacant formal dining rooms to speak about her discovery.

“So, I’ve done some digging, and it’s not much, but I think I might have found something for you. There’s a magistrate who’s been advertising for an assistant to help him with all the work that’s been piling up in our area lately. I think you should look into it.” Yuuri guffawed at the offer.

“There’s no way they’d accept an omega, Mari. You know that.” 

“If you’re already taking suppressants, you can use scent blockers, too. No one ever suspected you weren’t a beta before. As far as everyone here still knows, you are a beta. You’re educated, and you’ve worked with lords before. I can’t see why you wouldn’t give it a shot.” 

“What if they find out? What if something happens, and they realize I’m an omega?” 

“What would happen? If you’re on suppressants, you won’t have a heat, and if you use scent blockers, you won’t smell like an omega no matter what happens. If anything happened to you, the magistrate would be the one to answer for it.” Mari sat down and gestured for him to do the same as she lowered her voice and leaned closer to Yuuri.

“Look, you say you want to be useful to us, right? The fact is that we can’t keep the business going if we don’t get more people. It’s declined over the years. There just aren’t as many people coming to Hasetsu as there used to be, but if you work for the magistrate, you can speak on behalf of the people here. You can find ways to bring people to our town and that would help us way more than everything you’ve done before.” Yuuri mulled over her words. It seemed incredible, too good to be true. The only thing he could think of was the last time something was too good to be true. 

“Well, I suppose I can try. Nothing will come of anything if I don’t do that at least.” Mari gave her brother a rare hug and helped him to his feet.

“Tomorrow morning let’s go meet with him and see if we can’t get you the position.” 

Neither Mari nor Yuuri told their parents of their plan when they left at dawn the next morning. Hiroko fussed over Yuuri leaving so early in the cold so soon after his illness, but the siblings promised to be back shortly with the required items needed for the food that day. Mari walked Yuuri to the town hall where the magistrate resided and promised to be back at the gate as soon as she was done with the shopping. Two austere guards glared at him when he mentioned the purpose for his visit. 

“It’s rather early for that, isn’t it? Come back later.” 

“Please, I have to tend to my family business and won’t be able to come back later. If the magistrate isn’t awake yet, then I understand, but if he is, then please let me see him,” Yuuri begged the guards, hoping that the scent blocker Mari had applied on their way over was working. Given the fact the alphas hadn’t relented yet, he assumed it was. One of them finally agreed to go with Yuuri to see if the magistrate was willing to see him. They entered the largest building in the complex, leaving their shoes in the entryway and tiptoed through the passages until they reached the largest room. Inside, the magistrate was already working, reading over scrolls and other scraps of paper on a low table near the door to the courtyard. Upon hearing their footsteps, the man looked up. Yuuri was struck by his strong features: long flowing brown hair, blue eyes, and a cleft chin. 

“Good morning. What is the nature of your visit, sir?” The guard nodded at Yuuri to move forward into the room. He dropped down to the floor instantly, groveling to show his earnestness and respect.

“Please, sir. I’ve come seeking the job as your assistant.”

“Assistant?” The man chuckled. “I don’t recall having placed an advertisement for one.” Yuuri’s face flamed. Had Mari misunderstood? She would never have lied to him, not about something this important.

“I’m sorry for disturbing you so early, but I had heard in the village you were seeking someone to assist you.” Yuuri was grateful that only his beet-red neck showed. The man hummed thoughtfully. 

“That is strange indeed as I am not.” Well, so much for trying, Yuuri thought. He was never going to live down the shame. He was also going to find out where Mari had gotten her information because if this was all an elaborate prank – 

“Well, no sense in you staying down there on the floor. The least I can do is see your skills. Come, read this document for me.” Yuuri scrambled off the floor and carefully sank down at the end of the table. The man slid the scroll to Yuuri. It was a history of fish yields in their area. It seemed a strange thing to write down, but he read it all the same. 

“You’re literate at least. What is your name?”

“Katsuki Yuuri. May I ask what yours is, sir?” The man burst out laughing.

“You come to a magistrate whose name you don’t even know to apply for a job? You’re an interesting man, Katsuki Yuuri. Tell me, can you write as well as you read?”

“Yes, sir.” 

“Well then, tomorrow morning, come back to this room. I may have a use for you.” Yuuri couldn’t believe his ears. His stomach flipped, and he felt giddy. He gave the man another bow.

“Thank you so much.” The man tapped Yuuri’s fingers where they came together for his bow.

“A perfect obeisance. You were taught well. That will be all today. At the gate tomorrow, tell them you have an audience with Celestino.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you very much,” Yuuri repeated. He quietly retreated after the dismissal, sliding his shoes on as quickly as possible before sprinting to the gate. Mari was waiting for him with a hesitant smile on her face, and Yuuri’s heart felt lighter than it had in months.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Victor POV
> 
> Mentions of forced consent and infertility.

It had taken him far too long to realize something had happened to Yuri. True to form, Victor had only been thinking about himself, worrying over whether or not he and Yuri would ever manage to get on the same page. Then, Yuri had disappeared from right under his nose. He was thankful that Chris found his mate and that he verified with his own hands that Yuri was safe. It had irritated him to be dismissed so quickly after seeing Yuri, but he satisfied himself with preparations for dinner. The room had filled up quickly as servants and vassals filed in with their bowls to catch a glimpse of Victor’s mate. He tried to ignore the fact that it was due to all the rumors surrounding Yuri and wished instead that it was out of concern for his mate’s wellbeing. Chris sat next to him at the banquet table in front of the entire room sipping shochu. 

“You’re going to drink up all my liquor if you keep it up,” Victor chided as he waited for his mate. Excitement bubbled within him as he anticipated Yuri finally returning to his usual grumpy self. He would sigh and roll his eyes at the feast Victor had requested for him, but the pink tinge Victor envisioned on his cheeks would give his pleasure away. 

“Not likely given that you’ve got enough to last you several years. Besides, I’m taking what your servants say will go rancid soon. You should be thanking me.” Chris smacked his lips purposefully after taking another drink. The room went still, and Victor and Chris looked up to see Yuri in the doorway, the picture of a perfect omega spouse. 

Yuri’s face was painted ghostly white and his hair cascaded down to brush his shoulders. He had rouged his lips and blackened his teeth. The pristine kimono he wore was one that Victor quickly recognized as a gift he had given him. Everything in Yuri’s demeanor had changed. He shuffled in, making himself seem smaller and more modest as he approached the head table. Christophe sighed and lowered his voice so only Victor could hear.

“Who dressed him up?” Victor couldn’t speak, couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. What in the world was Yuri doing? His mate stood away from the table and didn’t come closer until Victor invited him to sit down. It was a strange feeling because Victor was both entranced and disturbed by Yuri’s every move. He knew that Yuri had taken the requisite omega classes when he was younger, but he had never seen him truly act like one until now. There was grace and beauty in every turn of his wrist, in the small bites he carefully fed himself, in his perfect seiza. 

“Alpha, your food will get cold if you don’t eat.” Yuri’s voice was soft, kind, appealing, and wrong. There was no barbed statement. He didn’t call Victor by his name. It was all wrong. Victor remained silent throughout the meal, not wanting to call attention to his young mate for his strange behavior. Christophe drank heavily, following Victor’s example and not speaking with the omega. Hushed whispers ran through the room, and all Victor could think about was how had things gotten so far away from what he wanted them to be.

After dinner, Yuri offered to entertain Victor and Chris by reciting poetry and playing the koto. An excited thrum ran through the room at his offer. His servants and men were clearly impressed with Yuri’s talents. Christophe smiled pleasantly and left with the remaining shochu and a plump beta who eyed the visiting lord with admiration. Victor obliged Yuri, unwilling to upset him if he truly wanted to play in front of his house. He was astounded at the wonderful melody and how the music moved him. It was very melancholic, making everyone in the room tear up in what was surely the ballad to some heartbreaking story of separated lovers. Polite and earnest applause filled the chamber. 

“I will retire now.” Two servants bowed before approaching him to clear away the last of his dishes and tea. Yuri looked up at him, but he didn’t recognize the look on Yuri’s face.

“Shall I go with you, my alpha?” He was conflicted. Was this another thing that Yuri felt obligated to do, or did he truly want to be alone with Victor?

“Do as you please.” He walked around the omega and towards his room. When he made it to the hallway, Victor felt a tug on his hakama. He spun on his heel to correct the offender when he caught Yuri’s blushing face. Yuri didn’t meet his eyes, and his trembling hand that clutched Victor’s clothes betrayed his fear. Victor tried to smile, but it felt forced. He led the way to his room. 

There was so much silence between them. It was heavy and eerie, and Victor felt uncomfortable by Yuri’s strange unease around him. He didn’t plop down on the futon or make himself comfortable as he was wont to do. Instead, Yuri hovered near the door looking skittish. Victor couldn’t tell if he was afraid to stay or go. He was exhausted from trying to figure him out.

“Look, if you’re planning on sleeping here, why don’t you go wash your face? You don’t have to do this –”

“No!” Yuri’s eyes widened, shaking like a leaf as he stepped away from him. Victor snapped.

“What is all this? You don’t even like that stuff. I thought you didn’t want to be _that_ omega? Or…do I just not know you at all? I’m tired of the guessing games, Yuri. So figure out what you want from me, and I’ll give it to you. Otherwise, just figure it out on your own.” When Victor looked up, he realized his mistake. Heartbreak scratched out onto Yuri’s features, a look that had found its home there in the last week. 

“Yuri, Yura, look, that was unkind. I shouldn’t have –”

“I should never have picked you.” Yuri’s voice was resolute. Anger and pain burned through Victor’s mark. He was winded by the intensity of the emotions. His heart ached. Yuri’s whitened face crumpled.

“I shouldn’t have expected so much. I’ll refrain from being a further nuisance. I apologize for wasting your time.” The shoji screen slammed open and closed. Victor let him leave, knowing he would only make things worse if he followed him. He crawled into bed, wishing for the day to be over. 

After that, Yuri didn’t make appearances at mealtimes if Victor indicated that he was going to eat in the dining area. Granted, he didn’t hole himself up in Yuuri’s old room, but Victor still didn’t see him for over a week. Christophe kept him company, but Victor knew it was on borrowed time. When his friend finally approached him with a date for his departure, Victor thanked his friend for all the time they had spent together. He tried not to look too unnerved by the prospect of being alone with his mate, but it was hard when the entire house was uncomfortable by the distance between Victor and Yuri. For the first time, it felt like his men and servants weren’t on his side either. It was especially apparent when Minako, who had made herself scarce after the debacle with Yuuri, began spending time with his mate. Victor didn’t know what to do.

It seemed that for all of Victor’s planning and hopes that he had gotten the future he was scared of the most. He was alone, unloved, and unwanted. It should have made him upset, but all Victor could feel was numb. None of it mattered because he had fulfilled the societal expectations forced upon him. There wasn’t an obligation for him to do more, unless he wanted an heir, but the thought of forcing a child on Yuri made him sick. No, he would just need to carry on as he always had. 

Two weeks after Yuri had begun avoiding him and two days before Chris would return home, a guest arrived at the estate. Visits from villagers and other people had declined as the weather grew more and more harsh. Minako had certainly spoken truthfully when she said it was going to be a difficult winter. The snow was piling up and soon would be impassable until spring. The servant brought the guest to Victor’s inner chambers. He normally wouldn’t choose to see someone in his private quarters, but it was far too cold to meet them in the formal meeting room. When the fusuma slid open, Victor gaped at his guest. 

“Apologies for arriving unannounced, my lord. Truthfully, I wanted to return straight home, but I figured I owed you a visit as thanks for your help.” Phichit sank down next to the fire, looking blissful as the heat thawed him out. Victor called for a servant.

“Bring us something warm to drink, actually, bring the sake.” 

“Please don’t feel the need to do that on my account,” Phichit mumbled. Victor didn’t know what to make of Phichit’s appearance. He had anticipated on Yuuri mating him after they left, but he was free of any mate mark and didn’t smell of Yuuri whatsoever. 

“Why are you back?” Victor shot out gracelessly. Phichit looked away from him, staring down at the fragrant cedar logs burning in the hearth. A dejected smile crossed his guest’s face. He didn’t look like someone who had gotten exactly what they wanted.

“Is he all right? Did something happen?” The questions startled Phichit out of his thoughts. He waved his hand.

“No, nothing happened. He’s doing great or was when I left him.” The logs snapped as they shifted. Phichit had left Yuuri? Victor didn’t understand.

“Why was it that you left? Shouldn’t you have stayed with your intended?” 

“Intended? Me?” Phichit laughed. Minami returned instead of the previous servant with cedar boxes and warmed sake. 

“I think I don’t understand what’s happened, but have a drink first to warm up. Bring Phichit something to eat please.” Minami filled the boxes to their brim and nodded at the command. Victor carefully sipped the sake, trying to prevent it from spilling down his front. He was mostly successful, spilling only a few drops. When he looked over at Phichit, he had downed his sake already and was refilling his drink.

“Maybe you should take it easy?” Victor suggested as Phichit downed the second cup. He wiped his mouth with the back of his wrist.

“Look, Lord Victor, I don’t want to be here. I certainly don’t want to have this conversation, but I strangely feel that I need to do it anyways, so I’d rather not be entirely sober for this, if you’ll forgive my rudeness.” Phichit was filling his box up for the third time when Minami reentered the room with a small plate of rice balls and two bowls of soup. Phichit stared down at the plate before looking up at Minami, radiating sheer joy at the prospect of warm food.

“You’re a god.” He shoved one of the rice balls into his mouth, immediately spitting the food back out into his cupped palm.

“H-haa-hot.” Minami offered Phichit a cup of water to soothe his mouth, giggling at the drunken display.

“Minami, does anyone else know that Phichit is here?” Victor asked, reaching for one of the rice balls. The beta’s face fell. Apparently, Victor’s intentions were more obvious than he thought. 

“Lord Yuri does not know of Phichit’s arrival, my lord.” Victor nodded.

“Please try to keep it that way for now, and if Christophe –” 

“What about Christophe?” The blond alpha entered the room appearing from behind Minami. The beta yelped, gave a perfunctory bow, and ran off. It seemed odd to Victor, but he shrugged it off.

“Maybe don’t scare off the servants, Chris,” Victor admonished. It fell on deaf ears as Phichit roared with laughter. Chris sat down in between the two alphas taking Victor’s empty sake box and filling it. 

“A toast to your good health, Phichit,” Chris offered warmly before downing the sake. Victor was going to get a headache if he had to deal with two drunk alphas. As much as he was annoyed by their antics, it was pleasant being in their company. He could almost forget everything going on with Yuri.

“So, Phichit, I believe you were going to tell me something.” Phichit muttered something under his breath that Chris caught. The alphas snickered conspiratorially. Victor rolled his eyes. 

“Look, you came all this way, so the least you could do is just cut me some slack and get to the point. I don’t really have the patience to sit here and be mocked by the both of you.” Victor’s irritation bled into the room, making Phichit and Chris visibly uncomfortable. Both sat away from Victor, tense and ready for him to react. It made Victor weary. He begrudgingly relaxed his frame to appear less hostile to the other alphas. Phichit appeared to have sobered up slightly and cleared his throat. 

“There isn’t much to say, but I’ll make it clear so I don’t have to repeat myself.” Phichit didn’t say anything while he gathered his words. 

“Yuuri made it safely back to his parents and explained the situation to them because a letter they received made it seem like they had lost their only son.” His grey eyes glittered with anger before he continued. “I spent a few days with his family at their behest. When I left, Yuuri seemed to be doing better. I can’t speak for how he is now, but I plan on sending him a letter after I arrive home.” Nobody spoke for a while. They listened to the wind coming through the roof, pushing forcefully against the eaves and timbers. It howled angrily. Victor was certain it was snowing heavily again. He thought back to finding Yuuri in the snow, weakened and frozen, and carrying him inside. The omega had curled instinctively into his warmth presenting himself to the alpha to be taken. 

“So, will you be mated in the spring?” Victor had to cut through his own thoughts. Yuuri wasn’t his to think about now, not that he had ever been. Phichit scoffed.

“To whom? Being mated would require me to have someone to mate.” 

“You – you’re not – you’re not betrothed to Yuuri?” Phichit laughed weakly. 

“Definitely not. He rejected me, not that he was unkind about it, but I don’t know that he plans on ever taking a mate.” Shock rolled through Victor’s system, and pure, unbridled anger followed. He wasn’t angry with Phichit, though the alpha shrank back as far as he could once Victor’s stench filled the room. Instead, Victor was upset with Yuuri’s choice. How could he willingly do something that would put him in so much danger?

“I should have done it. He offered it, and I should have taken it.” Growls erupted in the small room, and Victor’s neck burned in his rage. It took just a second too long to realize he was not only experiencing his own anger but his mate’s as well. Victor clapped a hand to the mark, feeling the heat beneath his fingertips. It was painful. 

“Leave us.” A clipped voice spoke over the angry snarls coming from Phichit who was being restrained by Chris. 

“Let me show you this beautiful hanging scroll I brought with me,” Chris suggested as he pulled Phichit bodily from the room. Yuri stomped over to Victor, green eyes glowing. Victor hadn’t ever seen him so irate. Even when he had attacked Yuuri, the anger had never reached his eyes quite like it did now. He felt it before he knew what was happening. His cheek stung, and he heard the slap echo in his ears. Victor’s teeth gnashed together at the hurt, and he tasted copper in his mouth from his split lip. 

“What on earth was that for?” Victor questioned. Yuri’s nostrils flared, leveling him with a dangerous look.

“What was that for? WHAT WAS THAT FOR?” Yuri covered his face with his hands, digging his palms into his eyes. “You just said that you should have forcefully taken Yuuri as your mate. Did you hear yourself? Do you understand what you said?” 

“Did you hear what Phichit said?! He’s going around without a mate! He’s purposefully endangering himself! What if something happens to him?!” Victor shouted back.

“That’s his choice, Victor! If he doesn’t want a mate, he doesn’t have to take one. Just because he offered himself to you at the beginning of his heat doesn’t mean he actually wanted you. You’re an alpha. He would have taken the first one he found.” Victor felt sick. 

“How can you say that? He would never just give himself away like that.” Yuri laughed.

“Of course he would have. Any omega would. If I could have thrown myself at an alpha during my first real heat to get it to stop, I would have. I would have done anything to make that nightmare end. Living days on end feeling like you want to claw your own skin off. Nonstop pain and frustration because no matter how much you try to ease it, it never stops. Being so sick of every sight and smell that anytime someone tries to feed you, you throw up. It’s hell, Victor. Then there’s the feeling like there must be something horribly wrong with you because you feel empty inside. A deep, unsettling emptiness that tells you you’re alone because no one wants you, and you’ll always be alone because no one will ever want you.” Yuri took a deep, shaky breath.

“You know, I always told myself it was wrong. The thoughts. I said, ‘I have an alpha who will take me. Who will make me feel special and loved. Who will want me, and only me. Who would go to the ends of the earth to make me happy.’ I’ve never been so wrong. I feel like I don’t even know who you are anymore.” Yuri gave a heavy sigh. 

“If you want Yuuri so much, have him. If he’ll let you. I don’t care,” Yuri walked to the doorway before turning back and looking over his shoulder. “By the way, Minako says that because of how I self-treated my heats, I’m never going to be able to carry a child, so you might as well find someone else anyways to carry on your line.” Victor stared at the empty doorway long after Yuri left. He felt a prick at the corners of his eyes and rubbed them. He was surprised by how wet his face was with tears. Victor retreated to his room, replaying Yuri’s words over and over in his head, wondering if there was any hope left to fix things or if he should do as his mate suggested and find someone else. The hot, sharp pain in his chest told him he couldn’t do that to Yuri, but the hatred in Yuri’s eyes had said otherwise.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuri POV
> 
> More mentions of infertility.

His voice rang in his ears as he heard himself telling Victor over and over again that he wouldn’t be able to have children. Yuri didn’t know how to feel about it. He hadn’t really wanted children. The pressure to raise them to be perfect heirs terrified him, but being told that he didn’t have a choice changed things. It made him realize that it wasn’t that he didn’t want them, but that he didn’t want them right now, not when he and Victor were still unstable. It was something he would probably have grown to want with Victor after their relationship deepened. However, with everything that had happened maybe Yuri was better off. 

While dealing with the harsh reality of his infertility, Yuri also had to deal with the constant whispers every time he walked into a room. No one would speak openly with him, not anymore. Minako’s honesty had been a breath of fresh air, her straightforwardness comforting. He understood why Yuuri had spoken so much with the priestess. She listened to everything and gave sound advice if he wanted it, though most of the time he didn’t. Yuri just needed someone to talk to. 

Hearing Victor admit he wanted to mark Yuuri without speaking with him had broken Yuri’s heart, but hearing him say that he would have done it without Yuuri’s consent made him resent the alpha in a way he never had before. He told himself it was an impossibility. Victor wasn’t the kind of person to do that, and yet, he had confessed to Phichit and Christophe that he should have done it. He had heard it with his own ears. There was no way for him to reconcile the man that Yuri once thought of and respected with the person he was now. He had changed but not for the better. 

Thinking of the omega still devastated Yuri. There was no other way to describe the pain that wracked his entire body and left him shivering and sobbing under his blankets at night when it could go unnoticed by others. During the day, Yuri kept himself busy. He played games, practiced the koto, and read poetry. He hated being confined indoors and longed for warmer days when he would be able to take off on a horse leaving Victor and the estate far behind. 

Seeing Phichit was surprisingly less painful than he anticipated. Yuri suspected it was because he knew that Yuuri hadn’t chosen him for his mate. There was a huge weight lifted off his shoulders when he realized that Yuuri hadn’t lied about not wanting to be with Phichit. He had been completely honest about his feelings for Yuri, though the thought wasn’t a complete comfort. It reminded him of how much Yuuri had cared for him and how far Yuri had pushed him away. Yuri buried his feelings in the back of his mind and reminded himself that he had other things to focus on. 

It was mid-morning, and Yuri was hurriedly inhaling his breakfast. It wasn’t polite or good to eat so quickly, but he didn’t want to be caught by anyone. The servant who provided him the food was the only one who knew, and Yuri knew that she would keep it that way. The large kitchen was empty except for the two of them. He gave her the dishes once he finished, quietly thanking her. Carefully, he peaked out into the hallway to check and see if the coast was clear when he spotted two alphas who stared back at him. He squeaked and ducked back into the room, trying to shut the door before he would be forced to interact with either of them. He didn’t make it in time.

Christophe put all of his weight into keeping the door open that Yuri was frantically trying to close. Behind him, Phichit was staring at the interaction confused.

“Oh, cut it out. Please, I just want to return to my room in peace,” Yuri huffed, crossing his arms over his chest and giving himself some distance. The servant girl eyed the alphas warily.

“My lord, should I call for someone?” the girl bravely questioned. 

“It’s fine. They’re good men, just annoying ones. That will be all.” The girl waited for a moment just in case Yuri changed his mind before leaving through one of the side entrances. Yuri stepped back, making his way through the kitchen until he found a stool to sit on. 

“Well, you’ve found me. Are you here to tease me, or are you here on an errand from my lord?” The last word was said with as much venom as he could muster. Christophe ushered Phichit into the room, shutting the door behind him. Yuri frowned. It wasn’t generally acceptable for omegas to be alone with alphas, but Yuri did feel relatively safe with them. He knew neither one would do anything untoward, and if something strange were to happen, he’d only have to scream before one of Victor’s guards came running. 

“Actually, I’d like to thank you,” Phichit cut in. His grey eyes focused on the dirt floor. It was one of the few rooms that had a section of floor lower than the rest of the house. 

“Is that all?” Yuri hadn’t exactly done anything deserving of thanks, especially when it came to Phichit. He smiled at Yuri like he had said something amusing. 

“Well, if that’s all you needed, I’ll be returning to my room to…take care of some things,” he threw out vaguely. 

“If I may, Yuri –” he cut Christophe off with a growl. 

“Lord Yuri, Christophe. Do not speak so casually with me.” The alpha nodded, lips turning up at the corners. Yuri had let the alpha call him by his name before, but it felt too friendly now. It felt wrong when anyone called him solely by his name. 

“Of course, Lord Yuri. I meant no offense. I merely wished to give you my thoughts, if that’s agreeable to you.” The overly formal way Christophe spoke drove the alpha’s point home, but Yuri didn’t offer to let him change it. It was strange, but he’d prefer that to the alternative.

“You’re going to give me your thoughts regardless. You might as well hurry it up so I can go.” The playful smile peeking through fell from Christophe’s face. Yuri wondered if maybe he should have refused and left when he had the chance. Christophe seemed strangely serious.

“I understand you don’t want to hear this, but I’ve spoken with Victor and tried to get him to understand the situation, but he won’t listen. Things won’t change between you two if you don’t try and talk to each other.” Yuri couldn’t resist rolling his eyes. He didn’t need the relationship advice, especially from an unmated alpha. As if hearing his thoughts, Christophe continued.

“Oh, I know. I have no idea what I’m talking about, right? Sure. I suppose that’s true. Objectively, I can see the problems between the two of you, but I can’t fix it. It’s up to the both of you to do it. I know that as much as you’re angry and want nothing to do with him, you care. Otherwise you wouldn’t have been so hurt in the first place –” Yuri bristled.

“You may know Victor, Lord Christophe, but you do _**not**_ know me. Do not patronize me like some unknowing fool. I’ve already heard plenty from Lady Minako and others. I know full well how to handle this situation, and it isn’t your place to intrude and offer unsolicited advice.” Yuri’s chest heaved, and blood roared in his ears. He was angry, yes, but more importantly, he could feel the slight edge of panic that threatened to take over. Christophe’s face flushed. He assumed the alpha would back off and leave him alone, but if he had angered him, Yuri wouldn’t know how he would handle it. He jumped off the stool, stepping away from Chris. Phichit placed a hand on the alpha’s arm as Yuri worked to control his breathing. 

“Lord Yuri, you have been a _fool_. You’ve behaved like the spoilt child that you are, unwilling to listen to those who have cared for you most.” Christophe’s voice was low, vibrating with emotion. It carried the same weight as an alpha command. Yuri was incapable of speaking up. 

“Someone needs to tell you, and since you have alienated yourself from all reliable sources of truth apart from your Lady Minako, who still seems to be holding back, I feel a duty as a friend of your family and Victor’s to intervene before the both of you ruin each other. You act as if no one understands you or could understand you, like you don’t wear your emotions plain as day on your face. Even now, I can see your anger, fear, and pain. You need to try and fix this, for you and for Victor. Unless you’d rather watch everything you’ve fought for go up in flames. Anyone who’s watched you over the years would know how much you admired and adored Victor, and it’s clear that hasn’t changed. Your superficial changes to your appearance and new habits don’t fool me, and they don’t fool anyone in this house.” Christophe stopped, swallowing more words that looked ready to pour from his mouth. Yuri could feel himself shivering, ready to bolt at the soonest opportunity. 

“I apologize for raising my voice at you. I hope you’ll take my words to heart. I’ve only wanted the best for Victor, and I think you could give him that.” Phichit glanced worriedly towards the door. Christophe nodded. 

“I will excuse myself now.” The blond alpha followed Phichit out, pausing for a moment in the doorway.

“He’s always preferred you as you are, Yuri.” Yuri opened his mouth to correct the alpha, but he left before he could do so. The adrenaline hit Yuri all at once, making his shivers turn into hard shakes. He felt weak and clammy. The servant girl he had told to leave earlier entered the kitchen through the side door she had left through or hidden behind given her expression.

“Apologies, my lord, but you look unwell. Do you need help getting to your room?” Yuri didn’t have the energy to be angry with her. There was something sincere in her transparent attempt to be helpful. 

“I’m fine. I will be fine. Speak of this to no one.” The girl gave a deep bow, not looking up as he made for the door. Luckily there was no one in the hallway now, so he hurried as quickly as his staggering steps could take him back to his room. It wasn’t quick enough. He could hear the patter as it grew louder, someone searching the hallways for him. He didn’t need to smell him to know who it was. The door to his room was in sight. If he dashed, he could just make it before he was found. Yuri thought he had enough time, but Victor was quicker. He sprinted until he caught sight of Yuri. 

He could feel his alpha’s eyes on him. He wondered what Victor was looking for. Yuri stood up straighter and leaned against one of the frames to hide the leftover shaking from his adrenaline rush. Victor’s eyes widened and roved over his frame. Neither one spoke. Victor opened his mouth a few times and shut it when he saw the expression on Yuri’s face. Maybe Christophe was right about his emotions being more visible than he assumed.

“Can I help you?” Yuri didn’t want a conversation. He didn’t want to see, hear, or smell his mate, even if a small part of him whined at the thought. He worked to ignore the impulse that urged him to run to Victor’s arms and seek the comfort he needed. 

“I – I felt…I thought that … something had happened to you. I felt –” Victor touched his mate mark unconsciously, and Yuri felt an echo of what Victor had reacted to. He had felt Yuri’s strong emotions clear on the other side of the mansion. It was a victory that he had once wanted, to know that Victor was bonded to him and cared enough to ensure his safety, but after everything from the day before, Yuri couldn’t trust the thought. 

“Well, as you can see, I’m perfectly fine.” Yuri shrugged. The wood digged in between his shoulder blades. It was uncomfortable but kept him steady.

“You’re shaking.” Victor stepped forward. Yuri drew himself up, nostrils flaring. 

“Don’t,” Yuri warned. “I’m not interested in your false promises. Just leave me alone.” He turned his back on Victor, stomping towards his room. He was acutely aware of how opposite the meaning of his words were. Victor had stood in the hall watching him go, and it wasn’t until Yuri shut himself in his room that he wished that Victor had run after him. He plucked a blanket from his bed and screamed into it, a few warm tears slipping out. 

After calming down and wiping his face, Yuri redressed and applied some of his cosmetics. He didn’t put on as much as he had been doing, but he did enough so that he felt covered. Victor was right. He hated this. He hated everything to do with it, but it was an odd comfort that let him feel like he wasn’t himself, even if it was only for a little while. Yuri distracted himself by practicing calligraphy, enjoying the repetitive nature of the strokes and trying to draw out their beauty as best he could. It took a special skill to truly create the beauty in the characters, not to mention a wide set of tools, but he was satisfied with how his turned out. 

The late afternoon sun filtered an orange glow into his room. Yuri opened the shoji covering the window and was surprised by how bitterly cold it was outside. The sun reflected off the day old snow, lowering onto the horizon. The bare maple trees didn’t hide the light though the pine and cedar did. The crisp winter smell was cleansing, but he couldn’t bear to keep his window open any longer lest his room get too cold. He shut the fusuma partitioning the window and deck from his bedroom. 

Across from Yuuri’s old room, there was a small room for Yuri to entertain people. He hadn’t used the space much apart from his occasional koto practice and performance. It was cooler than his room and smelt unused when he opened the sliding doors to access it. Yuri called a servant in to light the hearth. Once the small fire had been carefully brought to life, Yuri asked for the servant to bring him a pot, tea leaves, and sweets. After insuring that he looked presentable, or at least in a way that he wanted others to see him, Yuri walked to the guest quarters. He could hear laughing and shouts from one of the rooms. Christophe and Phichit clearly had become close during their time spent together. 

Yuri stood in the hallway working up the courage to open the door for ten minutes before he decided against it. It was an impulsive idea, and it wasn’t well thought out at all. The door opened before he had a chance to step away. Phichit nearly ran into him but caught himself at the last minute. He threw out a hand and latched onto Yuri’s elbow to prevent him from toppling over. Yuri had been close to Phichit before but not _this_ close. He could smell the alpha’s scent, soft and spicy. It wasn’t overpowering even in his close proximity. Yuri flushed when he realized what he had done and stepped back to give himself some room. Phichit looked down, his cheeks darkened, but he didn’t show any other sign that he had noticed Yuri’s action.

“Did you need something, Lord Yuri?” The question brought Yuri back to his thoughts. Before he could stop himself, the words fell from his mouth.

“I just wanted to see if you and Christophe wanted some tea.” His whole face heated, and he could feel it creeping down his neck. Yuri was thankful for the white paint that hid most of it. 

“Christophe is…indisposed for now, but I’ll come if it’s not an imposition.” Yuri couldn’t bring himself to speak again, suddenly far too embarrassed for words. He shook his head and took off towards his room leading the way. Phichit followed behind him slowly to give him space. The servant left everything Yuri needed out for him. Everything was organized into neat piles. Yuri gestured for Phichit to sit, uncertain now as to why he had bothered to invite him. He focused on brewing the tea first, setting the iron pot in the embers to heat the water. The servant had brought some of the better tea leaves. He didn’t want to over heat them, so he watched the water until tiny bubbles scaled the edge of the pot and ladled the not quite boiling water over the leaves in the bottom of the teapot. Phichit silently observed him, content to watch the careful process. It was something that all omegas were taught how to serve, knowing when to draw the water to brew the tea at its peak flavor. The brewing itself took no time at all. Yuri poured out two cups, one for himself and one for Phichit. Next to the remaining cups were several small plates of snacks including nuts and sticky rice cakes. Wordlessly offering them to Phichit, the alpha took some of the sweetened dumplings. 

The silence began to grow awkward for Yuri, but he sensed that he was the only one who felt that way. Phichit looked relaxed as he sipped the warm beverage and enjoyed his sweet. Yuri felt warm and comfortable. It was the first time that he hadn’t felt lonely in weeks. 

“Thank you for joining me,” Yuri mumbled into his cup. Phichit laughed. 

“You’re not as unpleasant as I initially thought you were.” Yuri narrowed his eyes. It was clearly a huge mistake to invite the alpha. 

“I can see why he loves you.” The mirth in Phichit’s voice faded. Yuri covered his mouth and dropped his head, letting his hair fall into his eyes. _Loves._ The word held so much promise. Did it mean that Yuri could hope? The door to the room slammed open. Both men jumped. Christophe leered at Phichit even as his own kimono fell off his shoulder and hung open.

“Oh for goodness sake’s, come in. You’re gonna bring the cold with you.” Christophe obliged the omega lord, sauntering forward and shutting the door behind him. Yuri poured a cup for him and passed him the small plate with warmed chestnuts. The blond alpha raised an eyebrow at the offering, and Yuri felt his face twitch.

“You’re gonna get sick if you keep going around with no clothes on. The least you could do is make sure you’re eating warm foods.” Yuri leaned back quickly smelling the pungent scent rolling off Chris. He pinched his nostrils together and scrunched his face in disgust.

“Also, maybe you should have bathed before you treated us to your presence. You reek.” Chris laughed, biting into one of the meaty nuts he was given. He leaned into Phichit who shoved the alpha off of him.

“How cruel, Phichit. Just when I was trying to find you a mate, too.” Phichit colored at the comment but didn’t respond. 

“Thank you,” Yuri repeated. Both Phichit and Christophe smiled at him. 

“I know that I haven’t been the best company towards either of you during your stay here, but thank you for coming.” _It’ll be lonely without the both of you._ Yuri had no idea what would happen once they left. It would be uncomfortable to share such a huge space with someone he didn’t talk to, and there wasn’t anyone else for him to interact with. 

“I’ve enjoyed the time I spent here. I’ll be praying for your happiness and for Victor’s.” Yuri nodded.

“You’re too kind.” Yuri diverted the attention off of him by making small talk, anxious to avoid addressing Victor further. Phichit said that he planned to return home the next day when Christophe left. Christophe discussed his own plans to ensure that his estate and nearby villages were ready for the winter and to keep themselves safe from bandits. Both alphas thanked Yuri for the tea and food. They left after talking for over an hour. He didn’t necessarily like them more, but it had made him feel slightly more like himself to interact with them, even if they had been especially polite in their conversations. 

A servant entered the room offering Yuri a small slip of folded paper and cleared the dishes. Yuri retreated to his room to read it, wondering who had sent it him. A small hope flickered in his belly that maybe it would be from Yuuri though he had no reason to assume it was. He opened the fragile paper and stared down at the characters recognizing the hand instantly. Dread seeped through him as the letters wavered on the page. He stared at it long after the sun went down, unable to read the letters anymore but knowing exactly what was written and knowing that the small blip of normalcy and happiness he had experienced that afternoon wasn’t something that would continue. Every good feeling he had felt lately dripped out of him until he was left with nothing but a familiar hollow emptiness.


End file.
